Friday, February 05, 2010

The Urban Dictionary: They Know the Matt-Man

Bagwine and Facebook buddy, Irene, gave me a head’s up on this…

Anyone can go to the Urban Dictionary website, type their name in, and it will give the person a definition or definitions for their name.

I must say, the Urban Dictionary was dead on when defining me…Matt.

Take a look...


Ancient Greek translation for "eternal sex-god". It is believed that anyone that holds this name has a great level of skill and ability to perform sexual acts for long periods of time. Men possessing this name are also well endowed.

Girl 1: I wish my boyfriend was a matt
Girl 2: Oh you poor thing

An attractive, smooth-talking, charming young man. When you’re with him, he makes you feel like a princess; when you’re not, you know he is making another girl feel the same and not even thinking of you.

Becky: I dont understand, we had so much fun last week! why hasn’t he called?!?'
Jessica: I told you that guy was a matt. you should have listened to me!'

An extremely good looking male, otherwise known as a Sexy Beast. Throughout history, Matts have been known to be an exceptional specimen of the human male. The 'Matt' are often popular due to their social adeptness.

Girl 1: Hey, did you see that new movie 300? It was kick ass.
Girl 2: Of course! It was like a movie of 300 half-naked Matts!

And of course there’s this entry…

Masturbating After Touching Titties.
Masturbating After Touching Testicles.

Fundita: Fundo saw Matt at the strip club.
Fundala: Which strip club?
Fundita: I never asked his preference.

Holy Cow!! Could the Urban Dictionary be any more dead on when talking about yours truly? I don’t fucking think so.

Even Schmoop agreed with eveything they wrote...other than the well-endowed part.

That’s all I gots. That’s all there is. There isn’t any more.

Have a wonderful Friday all. I will be preparing for the White Death that is on the doorstep of Bagwine, Ohio.

Oh the humanity!!



Irene said...

It way to early to be laughing this hard!It seems your parents knew what they they were doing when the they named you Matt.

Matt-Man said...

Irene: Ha. The best thing is, is that the UD did all the work for me. Actually, in Hebrew, Matthew means "gift of God" so yeah, my parents were dead on as well.

Thanks for being the impetus for this post. Cheers Irene!!

leelee said...


An extremely smart and sexy female with great hair and a great face. Nice, sweet and generous are words that go along with Lisa. She is funny and giving. Not a slut by any means but does like to have a good time. Always ready to party and her phone is always ringing. She will even fly to another state for a house party. She is self confident and blessed with good genes. She just has it all; all other girls are extremely jealous of her.

the real question is...when is your next party in Bagwine..I'm there baby!


Matt-Man said...

Leelee: Ha. They were right about you as well. Wow.

I don't have a party planned but if you're going to fly up here, by God, I'll put one in the works. Cheers Cutie!!

Michele said...

A word to describe delicious banana flavored cupcakes with vanilla icing. Not to be confused with banana nut bread or any other bananay substances. Often contains pretty sprinkles like the ones found on blueberry Pop-Tarts.
"That Michele was tasty."

Yep, dead on.

Matt-Man said...

Michele: Ha. That's kinda funny. I may start calling you, "Sprinkles". Ha. I like that. Cheers Michele!!

Candice said...

Think it's too late to get Brent to change his name to Matt?


Matt-Man said...

Candice: I hope he does, because then every night you'll be saying, "Oh Matt, Matt you're the best."

Oh yeah, I could live well knowing that you were saying that. Cheers Candice!!

Doc said...

I wanna be a Matt... You and Schmoop have a great weekend

Matt-Man said...

Doc: Right back atcha, dude. Geaux Saints!! Cheers Doc!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...and humble, too!...

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: Ha...Hey I just copy and paste. I can't help that I am so damn awesome. Just ask Schmoop...She lives it every damn day. Cheers P-Man!!

Jay said...

Holy shit dude! Turning that Facebook meme into a blog post was a brilliant idea! ;-)~

3 Men and a Lady said...

Isn't UD fun? My husband and I looked up our names one night and mine were all really flattering (except the couple) and his were not so good, lol.

3 Men and a Lady said...

Oh, and you really need to get your toast problem under control. Even making it while in the bathtub? That's addicted! ;-)

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Ha...Fuck You. I love you Jay. Cheers!!

Lady: I love it. I've been typing names in all day. I know...I need to get a fricking life. Cheers D!!

Matt-Man said...

Lady: Ha...I had forgotten about that picture and came across it last night. I was quite amused. Cheers D!!

bobbybegood1 said...

Michelle: flirtatious, astounding sex appeal, attention whore -- attention seeker, yes, whore (?), gregarious, social, astonishingly gorgeous, athletic, curly, wavy dark hair:

guy #1 "man that girl was hot in bed"
guy #2 "must've been named Michelle"
guy #1 "how'd you know?"
guy #2 "..."

1. amazingly conceited, "out there," loveable, nymphos
2. crazy, sexual, postion
3. a different dimention

I was with Michelle the other day and OMG it was amazing.

I tried the "Michelle" last night and it was the best thing ever.

I wish I could travel to "Michelle" like Martin did.

Like I didn't know that about myself already! Like I need additional ego boosting! Hehehe.

Matt-Man said...

Bobby: Ha. Very Good. And it's nice to know your name. Cheers Michelle!!

Scott Oglesby said...

You are definitely, all 100% prime Matt! Urban Dictionary must work a lot like wiki huh? I have a good time entering shitty names like Bertha……An annoying roommate of sorts, usually obnoxious, fat, dirty, smelly, rude, and bitchy. Wow! Bertha did the floor a favor when she showered this morning. Ah! I wanted to kick Bertha in the face.

I love the toaster sitting precariously on the edge of your watery coffin..

Matt-Man said...

Scott: Ha...It's an old picture but I find the toaster pic quite amusing.

Poor Bertha...she had no redeeming qualities, did she? It's a shame because that is such a sexy name. Cheers Scott!!

Lu' said...

Splish splash I was taking a bath Zzzzzap electrical appliances have no place in the bathroom Mr.

Matt-Man said...

Lu: I like to live on the edge. Cheers Lu!!

Micky-T said...

Hunker down dude, I just checked the radar, it's never going to stop snowing where you are. It looks like it's going to circle Bagwine for quite a long time. If your lucky it might stop by mid-day Monday!

Matt-Man said...

Micky: It's coming down pretty good. But the temp is about 30 so the snow is peeling right off of the roads. It's good snowman building snow. Cheers Mick!!

Lu' said...

When you build a snow man Matt-Man, where do you put the carrot? HA!

Matt-Man said...

Lu: Aw shit I have nothing funny to say, 'cause I'm still laughing. Cheers Lu!!

RobinF said...

Yes... once again I find myself laughing out loud here. My family all think I've finally lost it... the Urban Ddictionary thing is uncannily accurate. It was dead on for me as well. How do they do that? Yes Matt Man Oh Eternal Sex God I bow down to thy prowess.

~Isobel~DingoDoll said...

Whoa Matt Man! So which definition was it the 'after tickling testes one?' Hee hee

~Isobel~DingoDoll said...

A popular bitch. Derived from the 1989 cult classic "Heathers", a Heather will do anything to be the queen of the school, including stepping over another Heathers' dead body, and snubbing all past friends.

"Have you talked to Rebecca lately?"

"No, she's turned into such a Heather"