Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Clambakin' Is Not Just a Party...It's a Lifestyle

Recently I have kicked my ass into gear as far as getting my act together…my comedy act, that is.

I have been spending about an hour a day going through my 1,400+ posts in order to take the funniest stuff and blend it into a funny, coherent 60-90 minute routine that I can do on stage.

As I go back and read what I have posted since May of 2006, I have come across some entries that are crap. But…

I have also come across quite a few things that have made me laugh out loud, and many things that are downright disturbing.

Some posts have actually managed to achieve that golden quality of doing both at the same time. I came across such a post Monday.

The following pictures come from May of 2008 when I was still doing a thing called Half Nekkid Thursday.

I did a half nekkid pictorial tribute to that King of Rock ‘n’ Roll and walking pharmaceutical counter, Elvis Presley.

Please join me in delighting in this soft porn tribute to Elvis and my favorite movie that he did...Clambake!!


Whoa Mama…Think I look good like this? How ’bouts I get to Clambakin’?



Yeah that’s more like it, Bitches. The King Lives in me and my clam is hungry!!
Sing it, Big E!!

Enjoy your Tuesday, all.

Cheers!!

32 comments:

3 Men and a Lady said...

That was unexpected, LOL! I'm sure the King would be honored.

Matt-Man said...

Lady: Much like Elvis, I have always wanted to be taken seriously as an artist, and I think these pictures in particular capture the depth and breadth of the artistic genius that is me...or is that I? Anyway...Cheers D!!

The Covert Lover said...

Well... you're definitely right about the LOL and disturbing. Seriously disturbing.
I don't know if Elvis would be honored, or be jealous of those legs!

Matt-Man said...

Covert: Oh, he'd be jealous because from the thighs down, both legs back in 2008 doubled as basballe bats. Two years later? They double as toothpicks.

Just like me, my body parts are so damn multi-faceted. Cheers Lover!!

The Covert Lover said...

Oh, and I jacked your pics and posted you on my blog.
If 'ya don't like it, well then tough shit, life ain't fair, too bad - so sad, get yourself some cheese with that whine, etc, etc, etc. :D

Matt-Man said...

Covert: Ha...well that can't be good at all, and by that, I mean "fan-damn-tas-tic". I'll take my chopstick like legs and head right over. Cheers and thanks in advance...I think.

On second thought...maybe I'll get a beer first...I may need it.

Desert Rat said...

Whoa! I don't know about Elvis, but most women I know can't spread their legs that far apart. It's kind of scary in a happy-kind-of-scary way. Think I'll sign off so I can get an early start on the nightmare that image has likely generated. I'll let you know if it's a good one.

Matt-Man said...

Rat: But Rat, being a scientist, shouldn't you investigate this leg-spreading phenomenon further. I am more than willing to be the subject of your studies...all in the name of science, of course. Cheers Rat!!

Mike said...

Jesus, I did it again. Your post comes up, first and third pictures show up but not the second. So what do I do, hit the 'show picture' button. DAMN!

Scott Oglesby said...

Usually you make me almost spit up some coffee on my screen. This morning I almost through up some coffee all over everything. That was a shocker of biblical proportions. BTW, can I borrow the wig? Actually, can I have it?

Congrats on getting your act together, I can’t wait to see the video when you are done!!

Matt-Man said...

Mike: Ha. Evidently your computer hates my appearance and has been trying to warn you. Its a shame you didn't heed its warning. Cheers Mike!!

Scott: Ha. I still have the wig/mask. As much as I like ya, it's one thing I have of which I shall never part.

It's slow going, but slow and steady wins the race, I shall not let down. Cheers Scott!!

Dianne said...

as I always said back when you did HNT - you have fabulous legs!!

are you also going to take the 60 - 90 minutes of material and put together a couple of short acts? a lot of showcases give new acts 10 or 15 minutes to start.

I am so rooting for you
and I'm proud of you

Matt-Man said...

Dianne: You should see them up close. No you really should, I'd like to show them to ya.

And yes...

The material will be written to where I can break it up into much shorter segments. I just want to make sure I have much more than I will need in most instances. Cheers and Thanks, Sexy!!

Doc said...

WOW!!
(my Eyes My Eyes!!)

Matt-Man said...

Doc: What? You didn't like the Clambake video? Cheers Doc!!

Micky-T said...

Sounds like a good plan, but shit, did you have to throw that picture out again? I always felt so dirty, when you were doing that Thursday thing.

Joker_SATX said...

Matt-Man,

Had to go get the O2 Tank as I was laughing so hard I could not breath!

Great Post...Thanks for the laugh!

Matt-Man said...

Micky: Ha...I couldn't help it. It falls into that, "It's so bad, it's good." kinda thing. Cheers my good man!!

Joker: Well thank ya Joker, glad ya laughed. The funniest thing about these pictures? It's obvious that I lack any morsel of self-respect. Cheers Joker!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...and now my linguine will forever be lonely, as I will NEVER eat clams again...*sigh*...

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: Sorry about that, but you could always substitute clams with scallops. Cheers P-Man!!

Four Dinners said...

Seriously disturbed does readily spring to mind.

Perhaps that's why I like it here.

Warped minds think alike?..;-)

Jay said...

You just had to rerun the single most disturbing thing in the history of this blog, didn't ya? ;-)

Matt-Man said...

Dinners: Damn right. I think you need to do a "layout" of your own. Cheers FD!!

Jay: Ha, Of course I did...but I also think it shows my softness and vulnerability, don't you? Cheers Jay!!

MysteryChick said...

Oh dear...it's still here.

I visited last night and was struck speechless.

It's not the sight so much as the surprise...nice legs though, I should be so lucky!

RobinF said...

Scary.... very scary.. and as a woman let me just... your clam scared my clam.... but yet... I laugh....outloud....what is wrong with me...LOL

Matt-Man said...

Chick: Ha...You can borrow my legs anytime you'd like. Cheers Chick!!

Robin: Women often laugh out loud at my nakedness. Cheers Robin!!

Lu' said...

ha ha ha words fail me really. The hair the legs the spread, that shirt ha ha ha what a pearl.

bobbybegood1 said...

Usually I like to use initials (can't remember what you call that) to describe some words when I don't want to cuss, but I'll just come right out with it -- What the fuck? You mean to tell me that Schmoop let you get away with that? LMAO!! You are one intrepid dude, dude. My hero. Cheers Matty!!

P. S. Don't you worry about dem skinny legs. I'm not sure who it was (Joe Tex, Rufus Thomas) made a song about loving a skinny legged woman. So hey, big ups to Schmoop.

bobbybegood1 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Matt-Man said...

Lu: Ha. "Pearl" I like that. Hope you are well, pal. Cheers to ya, Lu!!

Bobby: Ha. I have several Half Naked pictures that I have posted and yes, Schmoop has loved them all; I can tell by the way she would shake her head and say, "What the fuck, Mahoney" when one was posted. And I---

Wait...did you just call me a woman? Cheers Michelle!!

bobbybegood1 said...

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good one! You got me! Cheers!!

Matt-Man said...

Bobby: Ha. Have a lovely day Michelle. Cheers!!