Thursday, May 06, 2010

Building The Perfect Burger

Have ya ever wondered how to make the perfect burger? Well, let me tell ya…

You take some ground beef…it doesn’t have to be fancy. It can be a plain sort of ground beef…

Hell, it can be close to the sell date…not prime rib meat, maybe not sirloin, and then you open it.

Well, then you stick your hands into the ground beef and mash it all up. You can add some spice, some herbs, and/or some of whatever you’re feeling.

You put the beef into a bowl with everything you’ve given it, and then you mix it up with your hands and your heart.

After you mash it around lovingly and otherwise, you form the meat into patties as to what accommodates your taste and culinary style.

Then…proceed to throw one of the patties into a pan that is hot, and let it cook…

A few minutes cooking on the first side (get it good, and hot) and a few minutes on the second.

You see, you have to let it cook on both sides so it is well done. And by well-done, I mean ready to be eaten.

Upon getting the burger to where ya want it, you can do two things…

You can plate it up wrapped in the glory of a well dressed bun and eat it, or you can put it in the fridge for later use.

I suggest the former, because saving it for later..? The burger doesn’t taste as good, it may go bad, and more importantly…you may have to let it go altogether.

Oh yeah, it’s always better to eat it right off of the grill and taste it while you can.

Cheers!!

27 comments:

Michele said...

Thank you for the primer on burger management. It's been awhile since I've cooked any. Not that I ever plan to cook any in the future but JR might. Maybe I should just make him read this post.

Schmoop said...

Michele: Nice to see ya, but I doubt that you or JR need any instructions. Happy Graduation to your son, and have fun. Cheers Michele!!

Jay said...

And I notice that you put the big thumb print in the middle so that it doesn't poof up while cooking. You're a freaking professional dude.

Also, you don't have to put it on a bun. You can just eat it as is. Maybe with a little A-1 sauce. And along with it some mashed potatoes and maybe roasted carrots? Mmmmmmm

Mike said...

Now I forgot what I was going to say. I didn't know about the antipoofing technique Jay mentioned.

Clay Perry said...

i like to put some salt in it & let the meat sit for about 15 minutes, then add an egg & some mccormick all purpose no salt seasoning then mush it all up, cook it over kingsford charcoal until its done, add a slice of cheddar cheese just before you take it off the grill, then use helmans mayo on the bun with a thin slice of vidalia onion.. damn.. i must make one.. now..

Scott Oglesby said...

No.

When I move back we’ll have to get together if only so you can try the best burger that the universe has ever known….one that I cooked. I’d tell you the ingredients and how I cook it but then I’d have to fly to Bagwine and kill you. Seriously I’ve had friends that are chefs beg me for the recipe.

Ken said...

couple of big chunks of onion smashed into the patty....
then I can remove the chunks and leave the flavor.

Doc said...

I know what I want for lunch now!

Schmoop said...

Jay: I hear ya. I eat burgers sans bun as often as I eat them with one. Why hide the meaty flavorfullness? Cheers Jay!!

Mike: Ha. Antipoofing...I like that. cheers Mike!!

Clay: Mmmmmmm, sounds good. I'm getting hungry as I type this. Cheers Clay!!

Schmoop said...

Scott: Shiiiiit. Bring it on Scott. We'll have a burger throw down. I'll make my Outside-In burgers. I put the chees and whatever els inside the burger. Cream cheese and olives are my fave stuffing. Cheers Scott!!

Micky: There are few things in life better than fresh onions on a burger. Cheers Mick!!

Doc: What? Grippo's? They shall arrive today, buddy. Cheers Doc!!

Evil Twin's Wife said...

When I do hamburgers or meatballs, etc. I throw all the ingredients into my KitchenAid stand mixer. I don't want to risk eColi by getting raw meat under my hookerlicious nails,ya know?

Schmoop said...

Evil: Ha. I was going to give you crap for not using your hands, but I understand your situation. Cheers ETW!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...I apologize for having to correct you in public, Matt-Man-san,but the ultimate burger is one that that is a mixture of ground beef (60%) and chorizo (40%) spanked on a charcoal grill. Please don't hit me...

Schmoop said...

Phfrankie: No need to apologize my good man, as this post wasn't really about hamburgers. But you are correct. Sausage rocks; chorizo or otherwise. Cheers P-Man!!

Charlene said...

I made meatloaf the way Evil Twin makes hamburgers.

My hamburger is ground chuck, a little salt and pepper, cook to medium rare in an iron skillet in the oven. I put a little mayo on the thing and eat it with green beans!

Schmoop said...

Charlene: Yeah Baby...Meat loaf and Green Beans go well together. Love the green beans. Cheers Charlene!!

Anonymous said...

Wow, Scott takes his hamburger seriously.

And I mix mine up by putting it in a large ziploc bag, adding psices, etc, sealing it, THEN mashing it all up. Kind of like a ground beef condom.

Schmoop said...

D: Ha...One should be safe when handling strange meat. Cheers D!!

bobbybegood1 said...

I've become vegetarian 3 months ago. But, excellent instructions on how to build a delicious burger - whether beef or turkey. Have a great Thursday! Cheers Matt!!

Schmoop said...

Bobby: Thanks. And here's to your vegetanarianism. I gots to have my meat...even if no one else does. Bada Bing. Cheers Michelle!!

Marilyn said...

I love it when you get back to you food blogging roots.

Schmoop said...

Marilyn: I should really do a outside-in hamburger pictorial post. I dig outside-in hamburgers. Cheers Marilyn!!

Karen said...

My perfect burger is a pound of ground beef with a package of Hidden Valley Ranch mixed in. Yummy Deliciousness!

Schmoop said...

Karen: Yeah that sounds good Karen. HVR is a versatile thing. Goes with chicken too. Cheers Karen!!

Unknown said...

I mix in a little egg, to hold it together, a bit of Worcestershire Sauce, and a bit of bread crumbs...yummy!!

Dianne said...

I'm so sorry I haven't visited all week!
I think I had a pyschotic break and thought I was a douche named Julie

Jeebus! I hope I didn't do anything stupid

Love your meat Matty

Schmoop said...

Mandy: Hiya Mandy. Looooove Worcestershire sauce. I use it often, but I hate trying to spell it. Cheers Mandy!!

Dianne: Ha. Good one. Want a taste of it? Cheers Sexy!!