Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Need The Info, Bitches...

Well it’s the week leading up to the Fourth of July. You know what that means!?

It’s party time!!!! Well…

Not for me.

You see, I learned something very valuable this past weekend, and something that for 45 years I thought to be nothing but an old wives’ tale…

It IS possible to drink too much.

No kiddin’. I’m not shittin’ ya. I just found that fact out Monday morning, Monday afternoon, Monday night, and…

That nugget of knowledge rocked my world. It also rocked my head with a clanging, a pounding, and a frequent spewing of sweaty toxins from my forehead.

I also found out that learning that little piece of information would have been more useful and less painful had I discovered it on a day when I didn’t have to work 10A-9P.

There were a couple of other things too. I guess it may have helped to work a little food in with all of the beer and Bagwine I was drinking throughout the weekend.

Did you guys know that? Frankly, I am at a loss. Why didn’t anyone tell me this shit?

I also found out that when I am in the same room with Schmoop and our buddy Dana, I get flipped off and told to “Suck it, Mahoney” with incredible frequency.

I also discovered that when I make Loosemeat Sandwiches…I probably should not be shit-faced.

Hell, I didn’t season the meat. I didn’t do jack to it. It was actually, just Loosemeat.

I guess it’s amazing that I actually did remember to fry the ground beef, so, well…no one got sick.

I discovered that not only is it a bad thing to go to work at the Beer Mine with a massive hangover, it’s even worse when my boss, Drive-By Mikey, takes utter delight in my pain and suffering.

And speaking of the Beer Mine and Drive-By Mikey…I am off to work another 11 hour swill shift today, but…

I am off on Wednesday, and maybe, just maybe, by then I will be fully recuperated.

That’s all I have. You know why that's all I have?

As I type this, I am still hungover, so if you need any details of the weekend ugliness, stop by Dana’s site; she’s already been yakkin' 'bout it.

Have a wonderful Tuesday, and I’ll catch up with y’all come Wednesday.

Cheers!!

26 comments:

Dana said...

I'm "yakking" about it because I remember it ... so there!

Matt-Man said...

Dana: Ha...That makes one of us. Schmoop and I were both begging for Jesus to take us home today. Lot's o' fun was had. Thanks for coming down. Here's to Wild Irish Rose. Cheers Dana!!

MysteryChick said...

Damn! I read Dana's account and it sounds like a good time (and a hangover) was had my all!

Here's to a speedy recovery for all of you!

Matt-Man said...

Chick: It was a good time. I think Dana was a bit better off than I as far as the hangover, and I was a bit better off than Schmoop. Schmoop...not good. Cheers Chick!!

Jay said...

It's amazing how quickly things go downhill after 40. I think I had a hangover just hearing about how much you guys drank. haha ;-)

Jetsa said...

At least you avoided arrest. Being hungover and stuck in a 10' by 4' cell must really, really suck

Matt-Man said...

Jay: No shit. A few years ago I could have done it all over again today. Man, it was rough, But we all had fun. Cheers Jay!!

Jet: Thank you for finding the silver lining in all of this. Cheers Jetsa!!

Jeff B said...

I haven't had one of those mind melting hangovers for a loooooong time. Remember, water is your friend. Lots and lots of water.

Matt-Man said...

Jeff: I drank gallons of water. It just wasn't helping today. Jesus on a donkey wouldn't have helped me today. Cheers Jeff!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...there's nothing quite like sweating out a whole thirty-pack of Milwaulkee's Best...

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: No there's not, and...it was two 30 packs. I think this morning when I looked into the mirror, I was staring into the abyss. Cheers P-Man!!

Mike said...

After reading this and Dana's account of what went on, I'm even more amazed that you managed to take the foot picture and get it uploaded.

Scott Oglesby said...

Take blue Poweraide, mix in a little water, pour it in icecube trays and freeze it.

Then eat the ice all day.

Best. Hangover. Cure. Ever.

Doc said...

That WIR will get you Mahoney.

Micky-T said...

Mixing that Rose with Milwaukee is something "I'll" never do!

Evil Twin's Wife said...

When you wake up with a hangover like that, drink some regular Alka Seltzer (hold your nose if you have to), then get back in bed for about an hour. You will feel a million times better when you wake up again! :-)Glad y'all had a good time!

Matt-Man said...

Mike: It took all I had and probably a half hour to do only that yesterday. Yeah, it was that bad. Cheers Mike!!

Scott: I usually rely on Revive Vitamin Water. It's loaded with all the B Vitamins. It didn't help this time. Cheers Scott!!

Doc: I know, but she's a liquid temptress who always calls me back to her. Cheers Doc!!

Matt-Man said...

Micky: Liar!! Cheers Mick!!

Evil: We had a splendid time and my brother is a big fan of using Alka Seltzer for hangovers. I'm still not a 100% today. Cheers ETW!!

Dianne said...

'Suck It Mahoney' could be a hit sitcom

feel better

Matt-Man said...

Dianne: Ha!! I like that. Thanks and Cheers Sexy!!

Joker_SATX said...

Wow! Just Wow!

Charlene said...

I'm not a drinker so I probably am not a good person to give advice, but one observation; why would anyone get drunk a second time if this is how it is the first time?

The Dish said...

I find that the older I get, the worse hangovers suck. The also have more of a stomach and nausea component than they used to. And it is utter fucking bullshit. Don't the powers that be know that the older I get, the more I NEED to drink?

Matt-Man said...

Joker: You summed it up perfectly my good man. Cheers Joker!!

Charlene: Oh no Charlene...this? This was different. It hurt. Cheers Charlene!!

Dish: This one was exceptionally bad because my old body managed to stay awake longer than normal while drinking, ergo I drank more....much more. Cheers Dish!!

~Isobel~DingoDoll said...

'Schmoop and I were both begging for Jesus to take us home today.' You guys do that too?!?!

Get me my Jesus wig, it's time to go...

Matt-Man said...

Dingo: It was not...good. Cheers Doll!!