Thursday, October 14, 2010

He Said...She Said...

Here's the second installment of Schmoop and I bantering back and forth. This time, over an Oktoberfest Party my brother Marty is having this Sunday...

Matt: So…You are going with me to my brother’s Oktoberfest party on Sunday?

Schmoop: Yes I am. Wait a minute…is Vinny going to be there?

Matt: Well sure…He is our brother after all…I mean not your’s, but Marty’s and ours.

Schmoop: True. As long as I’m not the “Vinny Sitter”, and I can walk, I mean stumble thru the vast estate, I’m cool with it.

Matt: He can be troublesome at times…but enough of him. I know you hate public situations, will you be able to hang out without throwing up?

Schmoop: I have not vomited in public since…..well since the last time. Sorry about your shoes.

Matt: All is forgiven, and plus, besides the uber-adorable Marty, my brother Denny will be there. You like him!! And me? This Counting Crows music sounds soooo good.

Schmoop: I ADORE Marte’ and his uber beautiful wife! I love Denny too!! Sorry, but the Counting Crows song, “The Rain King” makes me cry, but I like the rest……….

Matt: Why does that song make you cry?

Schmoop: Listen to the lyrics you cuntnugget. Makes me think that we’re ending, and we’re taking things in a direction I’m not sure I want to go.

Matt: I think maybe it makes YOU think that I’M taking things in a different direction, because it is I who always plays that song.

Schmoop: Well are you? I need to know these things. I know it’s been a “little rough” around here, but, well I need to know…

Matt: You know how I am, and if I had wanted to go somewhere else, I already would have. But as you indicated earlier today, and not on here, it seems as though I already have made changes in how I act. For good or bad. I think it’s for the good.

Schmoop: You’re changes are good, I love your writing, as I always have. Now they seem to have much more of an edge. MY changes will also be for the good. Possibly a blog…

Matt: Well you should blog again, because you are funny…and you have interesting things to say, and yeah, that was bullshit. ; )~

Schmoop: Yea, who am I kidding? Well it was a thought. I will just be kinder to my fellow man. Ah Jesus H. Christ. Well, he knows I hate everyone equally? Here’s to a great party? I give up.

Matt: As we all should, and here‘s to Marty‘s Party…Give up, and succumb to Christine O’Donnell and Sharron Angle, who in all probability will replace Harry Reid. At least Harry has an IQ…that is measurable. OY!!

And now…

Shortly after this exchange, there were out of the blue, several, “or else….” demands leveled by Schmoop.

Chances are, by the end of your work day Thursday, I will be gone for awhile.

She tells me she loves me, and I tell her the same, and I think we mean it, but, after all…

What’s love got to do with it?

I can tell things aren't going well when I cook one of her fave meals, and she doesn't eat...until later.

Cheers!!

P.S. Happy 41st Birthday Pizza Bill; here’s to an ass-chapless day, ya big lug. See ya at five. Smooch!!

24 comments:

Mike said...

A Schmoop blog. That could be interesting. Maybe we'll find out about the real you since you hold back so much.

Knight said...

Well... yeah. That's how it works. I just have to shake my head and back away.

Matt-Man said...

Mike: She had one for a time but lost interest. It happens. Cheers Mike!!

Knight: I'm not sure that I know what you mean by that. Cheers Knight!!

Scott Oglesby said...

It’ll work out exactly how it’s supposed to. It always does. Except for the O’Donnell and Angle, that shit better not happen.

Kim said...

Sorry to hear that Matt, sucks all the way around.

Doc said...

Sharron Angle scares the shit out of me.

(but Im starting to dig this Nikki Haley chick)

Micky-T said...

Happy Birthday to Bill, I always felt sorry for him with his ass-chap. Maybe he should go commando like me and then it's just a mild case of ball-chap every once and awhile.

Matt-Man said...

Scott: It does, doesn't it? O'Donnell will not win but Angle...Prepare to call her Sen. Bat-Shit Crazy. Cheers Soctt!!

Kim: Thanks Kimmeh. It will all work out one way or another. Cheers Kim!!

Doc: Nikki Haley...uh-huh...If that's her REAL name. Cheers Doc!!

Dianne said...

life is a roller coaster - and then we throw up

and live to ride another day

Matt-Man said...

Micky: NO!! I do NOT want Pizza Bill going commando, and neither does anyone else. It's just...not...right. Cheers Mick!!

Matt-Man said...

Dianne: And that my dear, is why they are so much fun. Cheers Sexy!!

Knight said...

Yep my comment was too vague. I don't even remember what I meant. Then again, I got distracted by Micky-T's ball chap.

Matt-Man said...

Knight: Ha...Well, ball chap can be quite the distraction. Cheers Knight!!

Jay said...

Micky going commando? Ball chap? I need to stop reading the comments here cause they're a little too disturbing.

Charlene said...

It's like a soap opera without the singing.

Matt-Man said...

Jay: You just noticed the disturbing comments afdter 4 plus years? Cheers Jay!!

Charlene: There used to be singing, and now? Not so much. Cheers Charlene!!

Micky-T said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Micky-T said...

Yeah Jay, maybe I'm only just now going for the disturbing comments. Since "73" I've been swinging free!

Matt-Man said...

Micky: Ladies and Gentlemen, Micky is a swinger!! Cheers Mick!!

Raquel's World said...

I just wanted to put my vote in for the Schmoop blog. I think it should be a woman's perspective on putting up with you.

Dana said...

Micky: Ladies and Gentlemen, Micky is a swinger!!

Don't tell his wife! Micky has an image to uphold. He can only swing in comments!

Micky-T said...

Dana, come on! You think I give a rats ass what my internet image is?
I'm just a fuck off. Have been my whole life. I'm just really good at it!

Matt-Man said...

Raquel: That type of blog would be most mun dane as I am nothing more than a smart-ass who also happens to be a big sweetheart. Cheers Roc!!

Dana and Mick: Let's have Mick, put on his moo-moo and you two could have a real cat fight. I'd dig it. Just don't go commando, Mick!! Cheers Guys!!

David said...

Sharon Angle can be the bat-shit crazy senator alongside crazy-eyes representative Michelle Bachmann.

I'm house- and dog-sitting for some friends at the shore in Delaware and I have seen a few O'Donnell signs in yards...relatively nice homes which suggests that the people have adequate intelligence to earn the money to afford them...yet, they are not only dumb enough to vote for the "I'm not a witch" woman but are willing to advertise it in their yards.