Thursday, February 10, 2011

Valentine's Day Boycott and a Word of Condolence

First of all, I need to send out my condolences to my friend Drive-By Mikey.

He and his family lost their canine companion of 14 years Wednesday night as their dog Pepper, succumbed to age and a series of maladies.

Here’s to Mikey and his family, and let us hope that there is a mailman’s leg in heaven for Pepper to chew upon.

On that note…It’s time to lighten things up a bit by giving you another clever remark from my sarcastic 16 year old son, Ryno.

That’s right…It’s time for today’s, A Moment of Ryno’s Rancor™:

Watching the Super Bowl during halftime as Troy Aikman and Joe Buck are discussing the first half of the game:

Me: I can’t stand Joe Buck; he’s awful.

Ryno: Buck is terrible and his chin looks like a butt.

Me: Ha, ya think?

Ryno: Oh yeah…When talking to him, people think he has bad breath, but it’s really just the nasty smell of his butt chin.

This has been, A Moment of Ryno’s Rancor™

And now…A shameless promo for I’m With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio that airs Thursday at 11 PM EST.

Jayman and I will be trashing the faux, sexist holiday that is Valentine’s Day.

On Valentine’s Day, men get the shaft, so we have decided to boycott the “holiday” and no fear-mongering V-Day company will get our monetary man-shaft due to our boycott of Valentine’s Day.

Pajama Grams, Kay Jewelers, FTD? Y’all can suck it, ‘cause we’re gonna be parading in front of your stores with our testosterone dripping, our heads held high, and our balls hanging low.

In fact, in doing my part, the only gift Schmoop is getting from me on Valentine’s Day is that prior to taking her to bed and having my way with her, I will ask her,

“Does this look infected?” and then upon consummation, I shall ask the post-coital question:

“Would you rather have bacon and eggs, or BLT’s?

Oh yeah this “holiday” is a farce, and Jayman, Dick Burns, Guy Ahnyurdyck, and I will be ripping it to shreds like a woman scorned rips up an old Valentine’s Day card from her cheating lover.

So, please join us Thursday at 11 PM EST on Blog Talk Radio and chime in with your thoughts and your outrage!!

You can access our I’m With Stupid radio page by clicking HERE.

I hope to see you on the radio tonight and until then, and as always…



Jay said...

Condolences to Mikey and his family. That's sad.

And Valentine's Day is sad too! And an outrage.

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Yeah, Mikey loved his dog. Sad.

And yeah, the frightened and befuddled look on men's faces in stores this Valentine's Day weekend, will be as always, completely embarrasing.

Where did society go wrong? Cheers Jay!!

Mike said...

Bummer on Mikey's doggy.

MysteryChick said...

My condolences to Mikey. Losing a pet can be worse than losing a family member sometimes.

Can I boycott V-day with you even though my testosterone is low and I don't have any balls?

Matt-Man said...

Mike: Yeah...the boy loved that dog. Cheers Mike!!

Chick: Indeed...And yes, you can boycott anything you damn well please as long as it's not me. I would be crushed. Cheers Chick!!

MysteryChick said...

I could never boycott you, Matt-Man!

Matt-Man said...

Chick: Oh my...I think it just moved. Thanks Chick. Cheers Hot Stuff!!

Raquel's World said...

Sticking out my tongue at you! Not in a sexy way either more of a bratty 6 year old way.
Come one- We have periods, have to carry babies, gain weight, put up with your ex and your gas and your kids. Why take away VDAY? I am taking a stand. I WILL NOT READ YOU OR JAYS BLOG EVER AGAIN!!!...

....Until tomorrow.

Matt-Man said...

Raquel: Hee...Because oft times, while it is a "Day of Love" and a time to show thru gifts that one is loved, men get left out. How many commercials do you see or hear directed at women to buy something for their guy? Uh-huh. Cheers Sexy!!

Dianne said...

Sending big hugs to Mikey and his family
that dog looks like she was a sweetie
it's really hard to lose them

Matt-Man said...

Di: Indeed and thanks Di. That dog was Mikey's best friend. Cheers Sexy!!