Wednesday, February 09, 2011

Hump Day Hodgepodge...The Sexism Dies With Me

Happy Hump Day Chuckleheads!! Time for some Hump Day Hodgepodge.

I have a few unrelated things for ya today, so you sister/hot cousin named Betty Sue lovin’ boys south of the Ohio river need not pay attention.


I have a new daily installment for your reading enjoyment. Every morning I talk to my 16 year old son Ryno at 6:55 AM prior to him getting ready for school.

Our brief 7-10 minute phone call or our ten minute drive to school when I take him, never fails to elicit a funny remark on his part, so beginning today I give you…

A Moment of Ryno's Rancor™

Tuesday while driving him to school as I sense him staring at me…

Me: What?

Ryno: There’s something about your face that just makes me want to punch it.

And there you have it… A Moment of Ryno's Rancor™

I just heard on the news that President Obama hasn’t had a cigarette in nearly a year. That tidbit of info reminded me that I will be taking the plunge into the pool of smoke-free waters exactly one month from today.

Yep, on Ash Wednesday March 9th, I will be giving up smokes for 46 days. Pray for me, and more importantly, pray for those around me.

It’s cold today and will be even colder tomorrow, but the sun is out and I hear that by Sunday we will be in the low 40’s Praise Jeebus. Temps in 40’s will make it feel like summer ‘round here.

My BFF/OSP Schmoop said something incredibly funny last night. I just can’t remember what it was.

And now, time for my weekly shameless promo for this week’s I’m With Stupid radio show on Blog Talk Radio on Thursday at 11 PM EST…

Tomorrow night Jay “It’s Snowing Again.Really?Fuck!!” Man and yours truly will be launching a Valentine’s Day Boycott!!

Damn right Bitches…

All the V-Day ads for lingerie, teddy bears, jewelry, and pajamas are running 24/7 on radio and TV berating and brow beating men into forgetting they have balls and telling them that if they don’t get their chick a V-Day present, they are losers.

Where are the ads telling women that love is a two way street and perhaps that chicks should buy their special guy some Valentine’s Day swag?

It’s bullshit and since guys get the short end of the stick, we’re sticking it to Valentine’s Day through our Valentine’s Day Boycott!!

Please join Jay, Dick Burns, Guy Ahnyurdyck, and myself on I’m With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio Thursday at 11 PM EST, and chime in with your thoughts on this horrifically sexist holiday.

You can access our radio show page by clicking HERE.

Until the next time, as always…



Beth said...

Dude, I'm always incredibly funny! Hell, I don't remember what I said either. I'm with you on V-Day. Why spend money on a card to tell you you're getting laid ;)

MysteryChick said...

Matt-Man, I'm with you and Schmoop. I'd rather you show me you love me all the other days of the year not when Hallmark tells you to.

BTW-Ryno KILLS me! You two have a fantastic relationship, you're obviously a great Dad.

Matt-Man said...

Schmoop: I'm with ya Baby. And please, you coud always comment again today and let me know I'm gettin' laid tonight. It is Hump day, y'know. Cheers and Zoooooves!!

Chick: Ryno and I over the last 2 or 3 years have become closer than ever and we do cut up well together. He's a good boy.

And yeah, what's the big deal about V-Day? Pffft. Some chicks get pissed though if they aren't "remembered" on THEIR special day. What do men get? Heartache!! Cheers Hot Stuff!!

Jay said...

V-Day is the biggest scam in the history of bullshit made up holidays. Even more so than Easter.

Matt-Man said...

Jay: No kiddin'. And we're just the guys to bastardize and expose it. We'll do the same thing to Easter. Cheers Sno-Jay!!

Dianne said...

Happy Belated Birthday sugar
sorry I missed the big day

Ryno kills me

I agree about Val Day
have you seen the CBS cares PSA with the sopa opera actor telling guys they should feel their own package for ball bumps as a gift to their woman this Val Day
it's fantastic!!

Matt-Man said...

Dianne: My B-Day was HUGE!! Cold Beer and Hot Sex...

Ryno's a real jokester. And no I haven't seen that PSA. I think that's sweet...okay...I think it's creepy, actually. Cheers Sexy!!

Lu' said...

Yes I did laugh at Ryno's comment; laughed right out loud. Hey there
Buddy thanks for boppin' by the other day :) My at home computer sucks hind tit which is one explanation for my lax visiting to blogland and I am trying not to use this computer at work for nonwork related frivolity. How 'm I doin? HA!

Mike said...

Ryno is a very insightful person. I'm sure he'll become more so with age.

And becareful. The person that said "I'm with you on V-Day" might be setting you up.

Ena said...

I think the whole V-day thing is just another way to empty your pockets in case you found some extra change in the sofa cushions and have managed to crawl partly out from under the load of debt that you acquired during Christmas. And the best way to make you feel shitty about yourself and more likely to cough up the jing is to market it so that if you blow it, there is NO WAY you're gonna get blown (me so funny).

Personally, Steve and I write each other a love letter - why not? - and call it good.

Matt-Man said...

Lu: Completely understandable, and you are doing great at it. Ryno never fails to kill me. If only I could describe some of the looks he gives me; they're even funnier. Cheers Pal!!

Mike: If you're talking about Mystery Chick, I hope she sets me up, and hurts the hell out of me. Cheers Mike!!

Matt-Man said...

Ena: That's sweet. Schmoop and I drink beer, make fun of each other, and then have sex...or not. But yeah, it's a bogus "holiday". Cheers Lovely One!!

David said...

Hey you....wait just one fricking minute here. I'm from south of the Ohio river and I'll have you know that I've never had sex with Betty Sue...neither the sister or cousin.

I find my womenfolk outside my gene pool.

So just watch your mouth there Ryno's sperm donor. :-)