Those of you who read Bagwine Ruminations on a regular basis, know that I am boycotting and eschewing all commercial activities associated with Valentine’s Day.
No flowers. No candy. No Pajama Grams, nor overpriced baubles. However…
On this widely recognized, yet faux jour de l’amour, I shall take this opportunity to express the many reasons as to why I love my BFF/OSP, Schmoop…
As one can see, even at nearly 45 years of age, she still looks good in nothing but a leather jacket. Her boobs are in a word, Amazing!!
I’m always impressed by her trick that she does when she places four pencils under each boob and the eight #2 Ticonderogas in use, unlike her fun bags, defy gravity and remain tightly nestled ‘neath her breastesses.
When we’re getting randy, Schmoop will get on top, straddle me, and with her back upright and arching, will undo her bra, and her left tit will freefall directly into my mouth as her right one pokes me in the left eye.
When Schmoop undoes that bra, her puppies swing like dead weight from a hangman's noose. Glorious!!
I love the way her lips taste when I kiss her, especially after she has just finished downing 18 beers, a skillet full of bacon, and has forgotten to wipe her mouth. Exquisite!!
I am a major procrastinator by nature, so her ability to look ahead, be prepared, and stay on top of things is something I greatly admire.
Schmoop knows that stopping to fill the car with gas is vital when the gauge hits half a tank, because her eight mile round trip to work can put one on “E” in no time. Laudable!!
I appreciate her candor and honesty. I know that when she calls me an asshole, a cuntnugget, or a fucking moron, she means it. Refreshing!!
Schmoop makes a couple of sounds that put both a smile on my face and drive me nuts.
Sometimes when she is in the kitchen
It’s a high pitched, lilting hum that makes me smile from ear to ear. It’s cute as hell, but there is another song of happiness she emits that tops even that.
When I am getting her from behind and my balls are smacking against her freshly tossed salad, her ass makes the most musical sound I have ever heard.
It’s like a metronome loudly clickity-clacking out a perfect 2/4 beat that would make John Phillip Sousa spew cum out of the slobber valves on his tuba. Encore!!
I love the Schmoop and have for some ten plus years now, and she is my best friend.
Most importantly, I know her so well, that I know she will find this post amusing...I like that.
Because of all that, I don’t wish her a mere Happy Valentine’s Day today; I wish her a Happy Everyday!!
Have a wonderful day everyone, and as always…