The ads say things about this alleged Most Interesting Man in the World like…
“He has won trophies for his game face alone.”I have proven before that I am far more interesting than the Dos Equis guy, but since they are once again running those ads, I thought I should reiterate my claim by providing some examples…
I was drafted in the first round of the 2002 NFL draft by the Cincinnati Bengals…as a fan.
I wowed the crowd at the 17th hole of the 2008 British Open by shooting a hole-in-none.
When I kissed the Blarney Stone, it blushed.
Every Christmas I receive a wish list from Santa.
I spent the weekend with Lindsay Lohan and she stayed sober the entire time.
Muslim terrorists have ME on THEIR watch list.
I made Mel Gibson cry, John Boehner laugh, and left Bill O’Reilly speechless while at a cocktail party thrown by the Dalai Lama.
Telemarketers call me, just to chat.
I once fired Donald Trump.
Dick Cheney shot at me, and missed.
I’m receiving alimony from eight different women, none of whom were married to me.
My reflection loves ME.
And there you have but a few examples of my interesting qualities and exploits, and remember…
I always drink wine, and when I do, I drink Wild Irish Rose.
Stay fortified my friends.
Cheers!!
20 comments:
Ha! These were great. I especially loved the "Telemarketers call me, just to chat" line.
Good stuff man!
Jay: Ha. Thanks my good man. When I have nothing to write about, I utilize my go to topic...Me. Cheers Jay!!
"When I kissed the Blarney Stone, it blushed."
I did a google search to see if you made that up.
- 2 results (0.13 seconds) -
Mike: Ha...I just did as well, and it's mine, allllll mine!!! Cheers Mike!!
That fucker in the commercial ain't got nothin' on you baybee!!! Oh God, I just made myself retch;)
Schmoop: Damn straight, and listen baby, you didn't wretch; that was your kegels flexing in excitement. Cheers and Zoooooves!!
these are fantastic!!
I love that you fired Donald, well done
Dianne: Why thank ya how stuff. I'd do it again if I could. He's a dick. Cheers Sexy!!
Here, Here! I will drink to that Matt-Man!
Joker: Raisin' a glass right back atcha. Cheers Joker!!
If you looked more like leather I'm positive you would be the man on the poster.
Knight: He is a bit cowhide like isn't he? Cheers Lovely!!
Have the WIR people called you yet? I mean, you should totally be THEIR most interesting spokesperson. You could probably rake in tens of dollars a year with that gig alone!
Rat: They will. I am working on a detailed e-mail directed at just that end to send them. Cheers Lovely One!!
The Dos Equis commercials suck!
I'd much rather see you as the spokesmodel for WIR!
There is no better 'go to subject' than YOU! LOL good one Matt
Yeah but can you take Chuck Norris out?
Um, we already knew all that shit before you did, man!
Ame
Sybil: Hee. Spokesmodel. That is soooo me. Cheers Hot Lips!!
Vin: True, 'cause I can lie or tell the truth and no one is ever 100% certain. Cheers Vin!!
Wench: I could take him out, and in fact he has begged me to take him to dinner and a movie, but I always turn him down. Cheers Wench!!
Ame: Ooooo La La, you are too kind. Cheers Ame!!
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