Saturday, May 28, 2011

The Louder You Scream, The More I Learn

So…

I walked into the house that I used to own this past Thursday in order to pick up my 16 year old son Ryno and take him to school.

I enter the house whistling a happy tune, and then…BAM!!

Between Ryno, his Mom’s body language, and lack of sarcasm directed toward me, I could immediately tell that things were not well.

It seems that our son, who has been doing much better academically, had recently fallen off the wagon of paying attention, and again doing what he had done in the past.

I’m down with that.
 

I mean, not down in a sense that that is okay, but rather he’s 16, digs chicks and basketball, and like his dad, has the attention span of…well…somebody’s who name escapes me. Anyhoo…

His mom is being nasty towards him.

He, in all his soon to be 17 year old glory, is holding back his tears, and I, sitting on the couch (of which I got a great deal back in the day) am feeling like B List actor Lloyd Bochner in an episode of the Twilight Zone, saying to myself…

“What the fuck?”

Ryno is a great kid. He’s funny. Respectful (for a 16 year old), and smart. The boy is lazy academically, and always has been until he needs to step it up.

Here’s the thing…

His Mom berates him because he does not get all A’s. She is constantly nagging him for not taking advantage of the private school he goes to…she doesn’t like his “misfit” friends.

First of all…

Much like his Dad, Ryno will never get A’s in Math. He can get perfect scores on English tests, but that matters not.

He has to be first in everything, or…he is last.

I know the feeling. I went through the same thing with her. I was never good enough. Other people had better houses, more money, and more importantly, more status…

What a joke. 

She literally berated me with nailed finger at my nose, pushed me around, and spit in my face. In spite of all the things I did to her, there’s no excuse for that.
 
I left that environment because well, Ryno was young and cried often because we fought. I’ve learned from that. But evidently, she hasn’t…

As he was tearing up on the way to school that day, Ryno said to me...

“Dad, I am never good enough; she yells and gets in my face with her finger and scares me freaking out.”

It has been too late for Ryno’s Mom and I to fix those things for years, but let’s hope she can fix things between her and Ryno before another man, namely Ryno, leaves her life, and she is left alone with her anger and her bigotry.

Her bigotry you ask? The “misfit” friends of Ryno’s who his mom referred to? They go to his private school because they have vouchers.

According to his Mom, they are a bad influence on Ryno, because as we all know, poor kids and kids of color are losers.
Yeah…That’s the kind of social bullshit and racial bigotry crap he lives with, but….He’s already beyond all that, I just wonder if someday soon, he will say...

“Mom, shut the Hell up, and leave my friends alone.”

I’m pretty sure he will, although unlike me, he'll be polite about it.

Cheers!!

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9 comments:

Knight said...

Why do people think it's okay to put a finger in your face like that? Anybody does that to me and that finger will break.

I'm glad Ryno has you around to keep him on track and remind him of how amazing he really is even without perfect math skills.

Joker_SATX said...

Here's hoping that when Rhyno becomes a multi million dollar sports star, that he will remember the parent who berated his math skills and the parent who treated him with Kindness.

Just sayin...

Matt-Man said...

Knight: Yeah it's a shame that people are like that. I left knowing at some point that finger would be broken. Ryan knows right from wrong, and just from unjust. Cheers Knight!!

Joker: Ha...Don't get me wrong, she has taken of him and isn't always a hellion, but when she is, it's damn ugly. Cheers Joker!!

Jay said...

She's pretty lucky that you and Ryno aren't the type to sit around plotting revenge against people. Cause if you guys were, and decided to plot together, she'd be toast.

Matt-Man said...

Jay: So true. I just keep telling him to do his best and let bullshit from others roll off. It's kinda hard sometimes though. Cheers Jay!!

MysteryChick said...

Poor Ryno, at least he has one parent who's even-keeled. He's learned a lot from you, you should be proud of him and the great job you've done.

Matt-Man said...

Chick: He'll be fine in the end, and yeah, find him to be a wonderful youg man. Hope you can listen tonight. That would be quite arousing. Cheers Chick!!

sybil law said...

I think she THINKS if she pushes him to do his best, he'll do really well, but her tactics suck. Spewing bullshit at people isn't motivational, clearly. Poor Ryno.
Just keep telling him he's great as he IS - I think he'll be okay, regardless.

Raquel's World said...

Reading this late,
But
I hate when people judge people on color or social status. It's just sad because I have seen many a high roller fall, she should keep that in mind.

Poor Ryno, regardless of the bs he seems like an awesome kid and the fact that he friends the less fortunate kids in his school speaks volumes because in a private school setting that is often the harder road. I am proud of him.

It's good that he has you.