Look at my Bagwine header!! Isn’t it great? I think so. It’s so cool seeing my face up there and you know what it says to me? It says…
“I have to do this every day now!!”
OMFG!!
“I have to do this every day now!!”
OMFG!!
So, I am sitting here in my luxurious office, breathing asbestos, and reading blogs performing my duties with the utmost skill and care, as I dream of becoming famous with this blog.
However, I have a problem…
I can’t be a Mommy Blogger, ‘cause I gots no kids…unless of course, you count my cat Corky, my boss Bill, and the pain in my ass, Matt-Man.
I can’t be a Daddy Blogger ‘cause I gots no penis…and once again of course, as stated above, no kids.
Well, I may have my adopted Chinese boy-son Petey soon, but I have yet to find him. Oh I know!!
I could be a food blogger. I love food!! Wait…I don’t cook. How many posts could I write that involve my love for Totinos Frozen Pizzas?
I know…
I’ll just be the sweet, lovable, sarcastic bitch that I am. If I do that, surely I’ll be rolling in the dough in no time, dontcha think? Hello?
Is this thing on?
Just know my pretties…
I may be rude, crude, and socially unacceptable, but...
I will always respect the history and lineage of Bagwine Ruminations, and will do my best to live up to the high office that Matt-Man has bestowed upon me, as its caretaker.
So, give me my fucking Bagwine tiara; I am making this blog my bitch!! I mean…
As soon as I get done coughing up this day’s worth of asbestos.
And remember to go visit my boys Jay and Matt-Man over at their new digs on, I'm With Stupid at:
www.iwsradio.blogspot.com
Zoooooves!!
However, I have a problem…
I can’t be a Mommy Blogger, ‘cause I gots no kids…unless of course, you count my cat Corky, my boss Bill, and the pain in my ass, Matt-Man.
I can’t be a Daddy Blogger ‘cause I gots no penis…and once again of course, as stated above, no kids.
Well, I may have my adopted Chinese boy-son Petey soon, but I have yet to find him. Oh I know!!
I could be a food blogger. I love food!! Wait…I don’t cook. How many posts could I write that involve my love for Totinos Frozen Pizzas?
I know…
I’ll just be the sweet, lovable, sarcastic bitch that I am. If I do that, surely I’ll be rolling in the dough in no time, dontcha think? Hello?
Is this thing on?
Just know my pretties…
I may be rude, crude, and socially unacceptable, but...
I will always respect the history and lineage of Bagwine Ruminations, and will do my best to live up to the high office that Matt-Man has bestowed upon me, as its caretaker.
So, give me my fucking Bagwine tiara; I am making this blog my bitch!! I mean…
As soon as I get done coughing up this day’s worth of asbestos.
And remember to go visit my boys Jay and Matt-Man over at their new digs on, I'm With Stupid at:
www.iwsradio.blogspot.com
Zoooooves!!
15 comments:
'sweet, lovable, sarcastic bitch' blogger - works for me!
I used to do the whole "just be myself" thing. It should work better for you.
There's still lots of Matt-Man shit on the sidebar. I think he's having trouble letting go. haha ;-)
- Jay
I think this is going to be an entertaining blog to say the least!
Life in Bagwine from a new perspective! Woo Hoo!
Mike: Good thing, cause that's all I got;)
Jay: I'll try to be me, but I only have so much to work with. Oh, Jay, he'll never let go!
Joker: I shall do my best good man. Wait, I probably should do better than that.
You want a tiara? For that head? Do they make em' that big?
--Matt-Man
Matt: Step off butthole!
...They make fake penises.
Phfrankie: Ha! Why do you insist on making me spit my coffee onto my computer?
Y'know...After looking at your picture several times today on this post...I want to sniff your armpits. Cheers!!
--Matt-Man
I for one am enjoying your lack of ability to join in any particular click. It is refreshing.
Matt: Ewwww! Freak!
Raquel: Thanks! I was never one to "fit in".
I'm fresh out of original thoughts today but I agree with pretty much everyone else. I think I'll skip sniffing your armpits though if you don't mind.
Chick: Ha! Thank you, I only need one freak in my life.
I was looking for a Mommy blogger and was happy to see yesterday's post said "laundry". then I thought it said "food blog" because of Totino's pizza. And then I find.....YOU!
Fucking awesome B! You're one of my favorite bitches!!
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