Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Just Like Rep. Anthony Weiner and Megan Broussard, Lives in Bagwine Are Forever Changed

Hi Kidz...Schmoop here...
I have lived in the fair city of Bagwine Ohio my entire life. Indeed, I was born at the very hospital that sits across the street from my apartment.

Bagwine is not a small town, nor a metropolis by any means…It’s somewhere in the middle, I guess.

When I was growing up, everybody in the neighborhood knew everybody else. Granted, that’s not always a good thing when one is a kid trying to get away with something, but it was kind of comforting.

All of us rugrats would run through yards, raise havoc, and stay out ‘til dark when invariably someone’s mom (or dad if one didn’t listen the first three times…Beth!!) would call us in.

Bagwine had and still does have, a small town atmosphere. 

Although geographically, the city has grown by leaps and bounds over my forty plus years, many places that a person needs to get to are still within walking distance.

Some would say that that is a good thing. More business…more people…more “stuff”. To me…

It’s simply, more motherfucking headaches.

Neighbors don’t know each other any longer. Kids are surly, and…they ALL have cell phones. Everyone is afraid of everyone and everything else…Oy!!

But things aren’t all bad in Bagwine. We will soon have a newer and bigger hospital. We already have a bigger and better High School, and we have four bazillion fast food restaurants.

Big…Hairy…Balls…No One Cares.

I’m sure Bagwine is like many other cities, and there is no sense bitching about it. I guess the young whippersnappers call it progress, but as for me and my town, I think it blows.

So, my friends…I’ve become a nasty old curmudgeon, so what!?

Hey!!? Hey!!? You kids with the cell phones and bad attitudes…Get off my God Damn Lawn!!

Lastly…Make sure you listen to the I’m With Stupid show that Jay and Matt-Man did yesterday, it was one of their best ones evah.

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Verrrrry Funny, and with your listens, it will hit Number One this week, as it should be.!!

See you tomorrow, you pretty people, you.



Jay said...

Things are changing like crazy here in Redneckville at a crazy rate too. Hell, just this last week they started selling beer at Walgreens. I can barely keep up with this shit.

Beth said...

Jay: Damn! You're lucky! Our Walgreens doesn't sell alcohol. Sure glad I've got Matt;)

Michele said...

I've lived in Middlesville, Indiana and HugeAss, Texas and I can tell you from experience. Middlesville anywhere is better than HugeAss. Knowing your neighbors around these here parts could get you killed. Being able to carry a gun into church is a god given right but I know what you mean about towns changing. The town I grew up in went from 20K when I was a kid to 80K 40 years later. And, you are right, it is a major pain in the ass.

Beth said...

Michele: I know what you're saying. For example our hospital, and high school. There was absolutely nothing wrong with either, they just want bigger and better, ugh!

Matt-Man said...

I never fully realized until you took over Bagwine the depth and breadth of your bitching. well done. Cheers Schmoop!!

Beth said...

Matt: Watch out Mahone, you may be my next subject;)

Matt-Man said...

That's Hot...

Anonymous said...

A different Time...A Different Lifestyle.

Today, there are too many creepers like me running around to make towns safe and cozy the way it used to be.

And because we pipe so much shit in on TV that's where the bad ideas come from.

I am with ya Schmoop. I miss those days too. It's so much harder to rob a liquor store today than it was in days gone by.

Beth said...

Joker: True dat Joker, true dat.