Monday, July 11, 2011

Cornucopia

I have a cornucopia of things to share with you beautiful people today.

In other words…this is a post about nothing.

It is stock up week here in the Bagwine digs. By that, I mean a little extra money, and Mama gets whacky!

And…I’m off of work all fucking week, anyhoo…

I’ve been to two grocery stores, the Dollar Store to buy the essential things that make life easier on the Matt-Man, and myself. You know, cookies, Cap’n Crunch , and toilet paper. Why yes, I do have PMS.

Are you fucking looking at me? Oooooooo, but wait, there’s more!

At one grocery, I had an angry young man in front of me. At least, I thought he was angry, as he was throwing his canned goods in his cart like it was an Olympic sport.

Stanislav Dumbass from Bulgaria wins the Gooooolllld!! Oy!!

I also purchased the potent potables. It’s all good. I even cleaned the apartment! Well…I’m spent.

On the sports front, the yummy Derek Jeter (call me) scored, earned, got his 3000th hit on Saturday. The only Yankee to achieve this goal. You know why he is the only Yankee to do this?

First, he’s incredibly hot (call me). Second, Babe Ruth was a drunk who ate too many hot dogs, and got too many hummers. Fourth, Lou Gehrig…nuff said, and Fifth, Mickey Mantle was a pussy.

I kid, I kid. Love the Yankees, every damn one of them. Seriously, the Cincinnati Reds blow. The Cleveland Indians…forget about it.

Why yes I’m drunk. Why do you ask? Stop looking at me. You’re judging me, aren’t you?

So...we’re supposed to have new cable put in this week so that the phone, and internet don’t go down 4000 times a day. 

Hope the guy that has this task doesn’t mind if I don’t have pants on, and that I’m drinking at 10:00 am. 

Do you suppose he will?

Fuck him.

I want to be serious for a moment. Please tune into I’m With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio.

They are going to be live today (Monday) at 11 AM EDT,  Right HERE!! 

These two dudes are really the bomb. They are funny as hell, and sexy to boot. Also, go on their I'm With Stupid website, and say hey.

Maybe you can contribute a post of some sort. They could really use the hits. 'Cause, I am totally beating their asses on an already established blog. Hee!

If I had to start a blog from scratch..? 

Crickets my friends, crickets.

Until next time…

Zoooooves!!

9 comments:

Jay said...

Who is this Derek Jeter guy you speak of? I've never heard of him.

And I love Cap'n Crunch. That shit is the bomb!

Mike said...

You forgot ICE CREAM!!!

And I called Derek. HE'S coming to install your new internet access. So get naked!

IWS Radio said...

I appreciate the fresh supply of toilet paper. Thank you. Cheers!!

Matt-Man

Michele said...

JR loves Capt. Crunch. He says that any cereal that sticks in your teeth so you can finish it up later is the best.

Beth said...

Jay: Blasphemer! What kind do you like? I prefer the regular. Should have got two boxes, they were only 1.59.

Mike: Ha! I didn't actually forget ice cream, I bought cookies instead. I'll be waiting on Derek...you promised.

Matt: You are so welcome my love.

Beth said...

Michele: He is correct. What other cereal can make that claim? All hail JR.

Rich said...

Nah Schmoop, if you started from scratch - you'd still be just as popular in my book. ;)

David said...

I always love going to a yankees game if I can sit overlooking their "box" - they pretty much always look hot in their tight uniforms and ...Derek Jeter....well I would decide to do him in a NY minute.

meanwhile - I promise not to judge you but if I did you would get a huge thumbs up rating....but if you don't want that,,,,well - who am I to judge :-)

Beth said...

David: One of these days, I will get to Yankee stadium. I wish I could've gone to the original one. You are so right about Derek. Yummo. Thank you David, I love it when you judge me;)