Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Jeebus Loves Me, This I Know

And now, on this third Sunday of Lent and because I am incredibly hungover, a word from my special friend, Jeebus...

Hi gang, and may my dad be with your asses. I looooove the Matt-Man. So much so, that I don't consider him to be my 13th Disciple...

I consider myself his Number One Disciple. I am looking out for him all of the time.

During Lent as he gives up meat and eats foods rich in fiber, some of his darkest and most painful times are spent on the toilet. I am there for him when he sits upon the throne.

Schmoop may not see God when she has sex with the Matt-Man, but when she wants to get her freak on with him, there's a good chance she'll see me!!

Matt-Man is a devout heterosexual indeed, but I spend time with others in his house that are, shall we say, of ambigous sexual orientation...

At all times, I can be seen, felt, and heard hovering just above Matt-Man's right shoulder. I am one ubiquitous mo-foe.

See this light in the corner of the Bagwine digs. Just a simple light you say? You're not looking closely enough...

Oh, I forgot...Turn on the damn thing, and watch the messianic magic happen...

I am the Light and the Way, Bitches!! Hahahahahaha and Boo Yah. Let's now listen to a little Don McLean.

And remember, Jeebus Loves You!!

Lastly before I go to work eight hours in the beer mines, I'd like to wish Jeff from A Word in Edgewise, a Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday funny man.

And to all of you...

Cheers!!