Wow…It’s October folks!!Where did the year go?
Ha. Isn’t this about the time every year that people begin asking that annoying question?
I always feel compelled to reply to that question with the following answer:
I don’t know, maybe it went right up your ass, moron.
I know…I should calm myself. Anyhoo…October is a month full of Holidays and incredibly important observances.
In fact, today is the 55th B-Day for my brother Vince, and the 24th marks the 14th Birthday, of Ryno, my sweet, sarcastic son.
Of course, there is Halloween.
I think this year, Schmoop is going to wear a High School Cheerleader’s outfit with her stomach stuffed with a pillow, while I will have on a wig, breast implants, and a lobotomy scar.
Happy Halloween all, it’s Bristol and Sarah Palin!!
Columbus Day will be observed on Monday, October 13th this year…
A day when we honor Christopher Columbus for discovering an existing civilization that was fully aware of their own existence.
To honor this achievement, I will, on the night of the 12th, give myself the clap, and eat a meal of red beans and rice.
When I awake on the 13th , I will wipe away my Morning Drip with a map of the Dominican Republic, and wipe my ass clean of the red beans and rice with a map of Haiti. Very moving, no?
There are some other less well-known, but actual observances taking place this month as well.
If you love to read books about Tuberculosis, Beriberi, or Syphilis, give thanks because it is National Medical Librarians Month.
If you have ever hooked up jumper cables to your car and ended up with a face full of Elephant-Man inducing acid, it means you have probably never observed, Auto Battery Safety Month!!
John McCain is probably on cloud nine for next thirty-one days because October is also, Dinosaur Month.
I plan on getting together with today's Birthday Girl, Real Live Lesbian soon, and doing something sexually with her that will stand the test of time, in honor of Lesbian, Gay, and Bi-Sexual History Month!!
In addition to that excitement, I am on top of the world. Why? October is also, Sarcasm Awareness Month. Why in the Hell was I born in February!?
October, as many of you know, is Breast Cancer Awareness Month…
If you haven’t bothered ladies, get them boobies checked out. We need ya here, and healthy.
Lastly, I want to thank you all for the kind words yesterday in reference to my asking and Schmoop’s acceptance, of my marriage proposal.
You guys rock. If you’d like, swing by Schmoop’s place by clicking HERE and say congrats to her as well.
I’ll have your October Bagwine Whore-O-Scope ready for you all tomorrow.
Until then…
Cheers!!
