Ahhhh. My day off. I needed it. I was speaking and thinking in nonsense.And boy howdy, do I have big plans for today.
I am going to finish my Christmas cards today (many of them went out yesterday).
Schmoop is coming home early, and I am going to color her hair again. I wanted to go green with her locks for Christmas but she nixed that idea.
I thought not only would green hair be festively yuletidish, the next time we got naked together it would be like having hot sex with a Martian chick.
Alas, I am using Garnier Intense Auburn upon her tresses once again…
That’s cool, ‘cause it really brings out her eyes, allowing me to more easily notice them spinning counter-clockwise.
I am making a casserole for dinner as well. I’ll make it up early, you know, before I get really blottoed.
I have yet to determine what is going into it. But, I am the Casserole King, so no fears.
I may even update and video a Christmas Carol today as well. I just feel like singing.
I’ll crack open a beer by 8 A.M. and sing along with my Peter, Paul, and Mary Christmas CD to get me in the mood.
I need to shave and trim up my goatee today as well. I look a little ragged.
I mean, I love Jeebus, but I don’t want to look all unkempt and unclean like him.
It’s Christmas time, I want to look like a well-wrapped present with bows and ribbon, n’shit.
Wait just a minute folks…
I just realized something. I am going to be doing the following things today.
I am doing a woman’s hair. Handcrafting Christmas cards. Cooking dinner. Singing to Peter, Paul, and Mary. Trimming my facial hair, and hoping to be dressed in bows and ribbon.
Yesterday, I claimed that my buddy Vinny was gay. Holy Crap. My activities for the day indicate that maybe it is I who needs to come out of the closet…
Nahhhhh. I’m not gay. If I was, I wouldn’t have put this at the top of my Christmas Wish List…
That’s right. I want to be slathered in mayo, pressed between those two lovelies, and be the meat in a Jessica Sandwich.
Yummmmmmm.
Actually, as good as that sounds (and looks), I don’t need that wish to come true.
I can always, with continued luck, get naked with Schmoop, imagine that her hair is green, and have incredible sex with My Favorite Martian.
Cheers!!
