Songs in the Key of Life

Hi, it’s me again, pretty people.

Thought you got rid of me, did ya!? Ha!

So…our topic today is, songs that make you think…

Think you say?

Yes…about your childhood, adulthood, drunkhood, whatever.

I’ll start it off.

Peter, Paul, and Mary (God rest her soul) singing Leaving On a Jet Plane reminds me of my sister. 

Her husband was in Vietnam when that song came out, and she didn’t know if he was alive or not.

Today? They’ve been married 41 years.

Tuesday Afternoon by the Moody Blues…Why you say? Junior High band. 

I played the Alto Clarinet at the time. There is no Alto Clarinet part in that song. I sucked reeds for this?

Cats In The Cradle by Harry Chapin…My oldest brother thought this song reminded of him of my Dad, which he never got along with. God Rick, get over it already. Jeez.

And the song that reminds me of the Matt Man, is….Lust To Love by the Go Go’s. Huh, go figure.



Now…your turn. What songs remind you of something…inspire you, or…that you love. Talk to Bethy.

Zoooooves!!

Kanye West, ACORN, and Mary Travers...They All Leave Me Lonely

Today…I have a void in my life.

I am floating within an emotional chasm. My heart and soul are empty.

Today is Thursday, my day off. A day on which I typically hang out with Schmoop. Alas, Schmoop’s boss is having her work five days this week.

That is a good change of events monetarily, but it has left me sullen, sad, and alone.

I am taking her to work this morning, carting Ryno off to school, but from 8:15 until 3:00 when I pick him up, I will be pacing and moping aimlessly through the Bagwine digs.

I’ll be all dressed up, and have no one to get undressed with. My world has been knocked off its axis.

I could ring up Kanye West and see if he’d like to hang for awhile.

As I live across from a hospital, we could sit on the porch of the apartment building and make fun of the people going in and out of the Emergency Room.

Kanye could shout, “Hey Bitch!! You call that a fracture? I’ll give ya a fracture!!” Eh, that would be fun for awhile, but I can see him getting on my nerves.

Having my past connections with SEIU, I could call the ACORN office in Columbus and ask if they could send me some underage El Salvadoran prostitutes.

That’s not a good idea either…I mean, young chicks who have grown up subsisting on fetid water, sorghum, and dirt during their formative years, can’t be very attractive, nor very well-built.

I could call up these two nut jobs and see if they’d like to party with me during my emotional exile…

Ol’ Mick and Phfrankie look gangsta good in their Bagwine wear, don’t they? Not going to happen though…They’re too far away.

Heavy sigh…Heavy, Heavy sigh.

I guess I am just looking for a friend for a few hours. Would any of you like to be my special friend?

If you stop by, I’ll make lunch for you. We could chat, laugh, and just hang out. I don’t bite. I am actually a pretty nice guy.

If you’d like to be Matt-Man’s friend today, drop him a line. Matt-Man is very sad, and when Matt-Man is sad, he begins to talk in a self-absorbed third person kinda way.

Do you really want that? I know that Matt-Man doesn’t. Matt-Man finds it annoying as well.

Call, stop by, or email Matt-Man and make my first person sadness and his third person madness stop.

Matt-Man is counting on you.

Cheers!!

Addendum: As I was typing this, I read that Mary Travers of Peter, Paul, and Mary has passed away from leukemia at the age of 72.

As a lover of folk music in general, and Peter, Paul and Mary in particular, I am saddened.

I saw Peter, Paul, and Mary in concert in 1992, and they were fantastic.

If you are going to be my special friend and drop by today, expect to hear P,P and M music bouncing off of the walls as we chat.

Here’s to Mary Travers…In death, may she find the peace and harmony that she sang about during her life.

Clearing the Cobwebs and Enjoying the Gaiety

Ahhhh. My day off. I needed it. I was speaking and thinking in nonsense.

And boy howdy, do I have big plans for today.

I am going to finish my Christmas cards today (many of them went out yesterday).

Schmoop is coming home early, and I am going to color her hair again. I wanted to go green with her locks for Christmas but she nixed that idea.

I thought not only would green hair be festively yuletidish, the next time we got naked together it would be like having hot sex with a Martian chick.

Alas, I am using Garnier Intense Auburn upon her tresses once again…

That’s cool, ‘cause it really brings out her eyes, allowing me to more easily notice them spinning counter-clockwise.

I am making a casserole for dinner as well. I’ll make it up early, you know, before I get really blottoed.

I have yet to determine what is going into it. But, I am the Casserole King, so no fears.

I may even update and video a Christmas Carol today as well. I just feel like singing.

I’ll crack open a beer by 8 A.M. and sing along with my Peter, Paul, and Mary Christmas CD to get me in the mood.

I need to shave and trim up my goatee today as well. I look a little ragged.

I mean, I love Jeebus, but I don’t want to look all unkempt and unclean like him.

It’s Christmas time, I want to look like a well-wrapped present with bows and ribbon, n’shit.

Wait just a minute folks…

I just realized something. I am going to be doing the following things today.

I am doing a woman’s hair. Handcrafting Christmas cards. Cooking dinner. Singing to Peter, Paul, and Mary. Trimming my facial hair, and hoping to be dressed in bows and ribbon.

Yesterday, I claimed that my buddy Vinny was gay. Holy Crap. My activities for the day indicate that maybe it is I who needs to come out of the closet…

Nahhhhh. I’m not gay. If I was, I wouldn’t have put this at the top of my Christmas Wish List…

That’s right. I want to be slathered in mayo, pressed between those two lovelies, and be the meat in a Jessica Sandwich.

Yummmmmmm.

Actually, as good as that sounds (and looks), I don’t need that wish to come true.

I can always, with continued luck, get naked with Schmoop, imagine that her hair is green, and have incredible sex with My Favorite Martian.

Cheers!!