Tales from the Communist Crypt

Four days folks…

A mere 96 hours until the mud slinging, Palin bashing, and over the top lies come to an end.

In other words, after Tuesday, the fun comes to an end and I will have to find something else with which to amuse myself.

I’m posting this very late today because yesterday I was off all day and was home alone with nothing but my computer, a case of cold beer and two fifths of Rose.

Not a good combo.

This morning I know how Obama and McCain must feel from traveling back and forth to all of their campaign stops over the past few months.

However, I managed to experience the exhaustion, strain, and mental duress of it all in a 24 hour period.

I did have an interesting dream that was no doubt brought on by my alcohol consumption and the frozen pizza that I ate last night.

I was working on a collective wheat farm in the Ukraine with several of my agriculture comrades.

As we were preparing to break for a lunch of boiled potatoes and ox tail soup, a figure appeared on the horizon.

It was a chiseled, overly muscular, scythe wielding John McCain perched atop a giant, fire breathing yak.

It was as though he was the Grim Reaper, Joe McCarthy, and Paul Bunyan rolled into one.

With the speed and fury greater than that of a Wall St. bailout, he stormed down the hill towards us.

Laughing maniacally, he began whacking the heads off from the bodies of my co-workers.

With each blood curdling scream from the soon-to-be decapitated, he screamed, “Karl Marx was a fag!!”

As the Mac-Man neared me, he raised his scythe and stared me down. His eyes filled with more rage than that of Rosie O’Donnell’s hoo-ha.

Just then, I pulled out a glass of Metamucil, a Fiber One bar, and held them out.

He pulled on the reins of his mighty, fire breathing yak, halting her charge by saying, "Whoa, Sarah, Whoa."

He dismounted, and looked at me…first with a sneer, then with a smirk, consumed my peace offering and said…

“Thanks Matt-Man, I needed that.”

And that folks, was that.

Have a lovely Friday all, and Happy Halloween.

Cheers!!