Strange Bedfellows and Serious Meat

Wow…What a night it was if you are even just a casual follower of politics.

Super Tuesday was just that, somewhat Super. I was glued to my TV, while feasting on my Last Supper.

It was a Donatos Serious Meat Pizza with Chicken Wings. Yum-Oh!! But I digress...

After last night, John “There Will Be More Wars” McCain has now nearly reached the half way point in getting the number of delegates needed to capture the GOP nomination.

And the Democrats? Obama won more states, and Hillary Clinton won the big states.

Hillary “Hated By People, Who Don’t Know Why” Clinton is currently up by a mere 100 delegates or so on Barack “The Middle Class Messiah” Obama.

And what about the others in the race?

Mike “Sodomite Smiter” Huckabee won five states, mainly in the Bible-Thumpin’, Sister Marrying, south (odd how those two differing adjectives both apply to that region)…Sorry Jay.

Mitt “Aqua Net Man” Romney won several states in the west including Utah. A major factor in Romney’s victory in the Beehive State was capturing 100% of the vote of the 37,897 direct descendants of Brigham Young.

Watch out Obama!! If Romney captures the White House, black people may go back to being thought of as creations of the Devil.

So, what does all of this mean? It means we still have Huckabee around to make fun of. There is some talk that a McCain/Huckabee ticket is in the works should McCain continue to win and capture the GOP nomination.

After several hours of crying should those two capture the Oval Office come November, the potential humor factor of that administration would be unlimited.

Can you imagine…We’d have President God Dammit and Vice-President God Bless You.

These two together would be like having Patton and Gandhi, Attila the Hun and St. Augustine, or Ike and Tina Turner (with the beatings, but minus the provocative hip shaking) running our country…

Wouldn’t be our best years, but they could be our funniest years.

And now, let’s put a little God into the post, shall we? Today is the day folks. It is Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent.

It's the the beginning of my journey towards redemption, a journey fraught with Kidney Beans, Peanut Butter, fish sticks, and incredibly firm bowel movements.

As you can see from the picture, I have the obligatory blessed ashes upon my ever expanding forehead.

Prior to applying these ashes from an extinguished Basic Full Flavor cigarette, I blessed them underneath my framed Eddie Money album cover signed by Mr. Money himself.

Let the Devil tempt me as he may. Let the ghost of Dave Thomas armed with a Wendy’s Double w/Cheese, haunt me in my dreams…

I shall not waiver nor stray from my 46 day vow of piety and meatlessness. Praise Jeebus, and let the Holy battle begin.

I will answer your Presidential issue questions tomorrow. Have a lovely Hump Day, and as always…

Cheers!!