Un-Conventional Wisdom

I am experiencing a load of creative difficulties with my newest Blog-Fo-Mercial© so it won’t be ready today.

I know; you’re crushed.

However, I am glad that things are kind of open today because I think that Barack Obama may announce his VP candidate today.

Will he? Will the choice be Sen. Joe Biden (D-DE)? I will be monitoring the situation all day while drinking Wild Irish Rose.

Should the selection be announced, I will immediately switch to Vodka and give you my full political insight on the pick.

More on the 2008 Presidential election in a second, but first, a reminder. Schmoop is off today, and I will be coloring her hair.

Later tonight, in a drunken stupor, I will be drafting my Fantasy Football team. It should result in some interesting selections.

Both events will be chronicled on Friday’s post. So, prepare to be riveted.

Now, back to the Presidential election.

In 2004, Sen. Zell “Non Compos Mentis” Miller (D-Mars) spoke at the Republican National Convention. Yes, Democrat Zell, spoke at that Convention, in order to appeal to voters with an IQ of 99 or less.

So you see, crossing party lines to speak at another party’s event is not unprecedented.

Why do I bring this up? Former Democrat and now Independent, Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-Jerusalem) will be speaking at the GOP Convention.

He will no doubt, share stories about his love for Sen. John McCain (R-Sunset Nursing Home).

Lieberman will wax on about McCain’s alleged maverick spirit, his readiness to serve, and most importantly McCain’s willingness to defend the “successful democracy” that is Israel, at all costs.

In exchange for helping McCain to secure votes from the Saturday Sabbath crowd with his speech, Lieberman has been assured a reward.

If Johnny Mac is elected, J-Leeb will be given the title of Lord and High Protector of Israel, and be granted the right to launch a nuclear missile at Iran.

Some have speculated that Lieberman’s scheduled speech means that perhaps Joe may be McCain’s pick as VP. It ain’t gonna happen folks.

Bagel Boy is too liberal on social issues, and even though he shares the love of the Holy Land with Evangelicals, those same Evangelicals would not want a Jew to show up at their Bible Study meetings or Sunday Pancake Breakfasts.

I am going to go out on a limb now as far as Johnny Mac's VP choice…

McCain will not pick Gov. Mitt “My Hair Doubles as a Bomb Shelter” Romney. He will not choose Gov. Tim “Who?” Pawlenty. McCain will pass on Tom “Yellow is the Color of my True Terrorist’s Threat” Ridge.

I am going against all of the political pundits as well as conventional wisdom, and saying here and now, that McCain will choose Rob Portman of Ohio.

Portman is a former four term Congressman from Ohio’s 2nd Congressional District. He has served as Dubya’s Director of Office of Management and Budget and United States Trade Representative.

He is devoutly pro-life, anti-civil rights, very Christian, has a pleasant looking nuclear family, and is only 52 years old.

On top of that, Portman is from the critical electoral state of Ohio.

McCain plans to announce his choice for VP on his 187th birthday, August 29th. On that day, McCain is scheduled to give a speech at the Nutter Center near Dayton, Ohio.

This arena is not too far from Portman’s former congressional district.

Youth, vast economic experience, and a religious Ken-Doll for the Christian Conservatives to admire. Portman offers all of these things. McCain will be speaking in Ohio that day. We shall see if I am right.

Cheers!!