President Obama Vacations on Martha's Vineyard, Conservatives for Patients' Rights Squeal, and Barack Turns Pale

The group, Conservatives for Patient’s Rights has been running the above, Surf’s Up health care ad of late in order to coincide with President Obama’s week long vacation on Martha’s Vineyard which he began yesterday.

Eh, the ad is a little cheesy, lacks that “grab ya and gotcha” hook, and is in my opinion, pretty damn lame.

But folks let me tell you something…I am very pissed off at the vacationing Barack Obama right now…VERY.

Because he is pushing for National Health Care? No. Because he is taking time off? Nooooo. “Then why, Matt-Man”, you ask?

I am pissed at President Obama because when I checked my ballot back in November, I checked it for a former drug using, street savvy, black man for President, not an Evian drinking, Tommy Hilfiger wearing, white guy.

I first noticed him becoming white during the “Beer Summit” he had with the cop and the professor. Did you notice what kind of beer Obama drank? A Bud Light…

Dude, c’mon you’re black, you should have been sucking on some Wild Irish Rose out of a jelly jar or at least been chugging down a 40 of Colt 45. WTF?

And now…look. Look where he and his family are spending their vacation. Chilmark, on Martha’s Vineyard!!

For Godssakes they’re a black family from the south side of Chicago not a family of crackers from the upper west side of Manhattan.

Obama should be spending his summer vacation playing some street ball, and cruising the ‘hood in a ‘63 Buick Electra 225 with tricked out wheels and a fuzzy steering wheel.

He shouldn’t be playing croquet on the back lawn prior to enjoying a drive along the beach in a Volvo…or worse yet, a God Damn golf cart.

I am sooooo disgusted and disappointed in Obama. He has lost his soul.

He’s a black man who has been elected President of the most powerful country on Earth.

He should be struttin’ around and acting all hip, funky, and ghettolicious like my hero, Rick James. Barack should be greeting people with the phrase, “I’m President Obama, Bitch!!” But nooooo…

When he meets someone now, he says, “I’m President Obama, Ma’am…would you like a twist of lemon with your spritzer?” Holy Cow…

Instead of acting like Rick James, Obama is acting more like Rick Steves.

Maybe if health care reform doesn’t work out, he can do a travel special for PBS that highlights all of the quaint spots and bargain stays in and around the Buzzard’s Bay-Nantucket Sound area.

I miss the guy who would orate with the passion and fire of MLK, Jr. taking us all to the mountaintop

All I get from him now is a guy who speaks like a Methodist minister named Bob Smith finishing up his service by directing everyone to the bake sale in the church basement.

Sad.

C’mon, Brutha Barack…get your groove back…get your swagger back. Get your soul back.

I dig your reserved thoughtfulness, but man, sometimes…one has to go ahead and get jiggy with it.

Cheers!!

Government Run Health Care: Public Option or Co-Op? Neither...

When it comes to formulating a Government Run Health Care Plan and reforming the health care system itself, it seems as though no one can agree.

It’s a policy battle that is pitting Democrat against Republican. Liberal against Conservative. Idiot against Moron.

Foaming at the mouth, geriatric protestors are shouting down any idea that they feel will take something away from them.

Some are loudly bemoaning the idea of others getting something for nothing, and somehow in this health care discussion the names and words, “Hitler, Stalin, Fascist, Nazi”, have managed to work their way into the mix.

I realize that during WWII, monocle wearing German doctors clad in brown medical coats and jack boots would lobotomize Jews and replace the cranial vacuum with monkey brains, but I doubt that this is what anyone has in mind when it comes to health care.

Of course, try telling that to the maniacal, protesting, “No Death Panel” crowd…I doubt that you‘ll change their minds.

Anyhoo…

I have sat on the sidelines far too long and watched. I feel compelled to chime in and offer a solution to this crisis.

My plan tackles the issue of the cost drain of obesity and the elderly. Instead of a dark, shadowy government control image, it offers a super-happy B.F. Skinner type of positive reinforcement feel.

The best part of my plan? It will cost the citizens of this country, nothing….nada…squat. Can ya dig it?

How can we pull this off, you ask? Two words my friends…

Trading Stamps!!

Damn right. Based upon what types of things you buy at the store and how you live your life, you will receive an assigned number of trading stamps that are redeemable for certain types of health care.

Go to the grocery and walk out with a cart full of fruits, vegetables, and soy milk, and you will also be walking out with a boat load of health care trading stamps.

Go to the grocery and walk out with a cart full of frozen pizza, booze, and bacon wrapped sausage balls, and you will get nothing...

Although it will be apparent to all, that you are having a helluva lot more fun than the trading stamp collectors.

Forget about the terms, Public Option, Co-Op, Death Panel, and Socialism…It all boils down to trading stamps.

With my plan, the quality of your health care will rest solely on how YOU want to live your life.

And frankly, what could be more American than that? Uh-huh, nothing.

Another plus to my health care trading stamp plan…It’s fun. Trade em, collect em, use them for a poker party.

Wouldn’t it be funny to see someone’s aging grandfather trying to draw to an inside straight to get the chemotherapy he so desperately needs, and then he doesn’t draw the right cards?

Oh Hooooo, the hilarity!! I dig it.

One word of advice folks…Never get involved in a health care trading stamp card game with Marcia, Jan, and Cindy Brady because you know how that House of Cards will fall.

There you have it…Once again, it is Matt-Man to the rescue. Whew…being the voice of common sense can sometimes be such a burden, but I do enjoy it so.

Cheers!!