Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Life Giving Fun Bags

It's going to be partly cloudy and 70 on this Mother's Day Sabbath in Bagwine, Ohio, so my 11-7 shift at the Beer Mine should be quite enjoyable.

I'll be celebrating all things maternal as the hot babes come through the Drive-Thru in low cut shirts and I eye their ample cleavage and breastesses...

Is that wrong of me?

Of course not, it is an act of kindness and respect for them and their glorious, nourishing, life giving fun bags. 

Amen and Amen.

So with that I bid you adieu until this evening, and leave you with this...

Happy Mutha's Day

Cheers!!

Oh The Times...They Are A-Channnnngin'

Happy Friday Chuckleheads…

Only a brief post today as I found out last night AT 9:15 NO LESS, that The Beer Mine is going to a new schedule beginning when?

THAT’S RIGHT…TODAY!!

So, yours truly has to go in today at 1 P.M. I’d like to thank the owner and my good friend, Drive-By Mikey, for the additional hours and THE ADVANCED NOTICE OF SAID CHANGES!!

Hee…When Mikey is ready to implement changes he implements them post haste.

Of course with these new changes, comes yet another change in time for I’m With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio.

Jayman and I will be broadcasting this week’s show tomorrow (which for most of you, that means Saturday) at 6:30 PM EDT.

This week Jay and I will be discussing the always exciting Kentucky Derby, and in a related story our correspondent Frank Furlong will be reporting from our 1^st Annual IWS Celebrity Race.

We will also wax poetically about Mother’s Day.

We will discuss the beauty and love with which our moms have graced our lives and of course a Mother’s Day discussion is not complete without us discussing our favorite MILFs.

So there it is folks…

A Kentucky Derby Mother’s Day on I’m With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio Saturday (which for most of you, that means tomorrow) at 6:30 PM EDT.

You can listen to us, join the chat room, and even call in with thoughts about your mom and/or how the Old Gray Mare just ain’t what she used to be.

All of that on I’m With Stupid at 6:30 PM EDT tomorrow on Blog Talk Radio.

You can access our BTR Radio page by clicking HERE.

Off to the Mine, but as always…

Cheers!!

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Happy Mother's Day...Yeah, Right.

It is going to be a sunny yet relatively cool Sabbath in Bagwine, Ohio on this Mother’s Day.

And with that being said, Happy Mother’s Day to all of the Moms and MILFs who have taken the time to spread their legs and nine months later, spit out a kid or two…or nine like my mom did.

Children, husbands, and divorce attorneys across this country will be praising and thanking moms everywhere.

All the while, restaurateurs, greeting card companies, and petunia peddlers will be making a killing. You know why?

Because people are stupid!!

Mother’s Day Schmother’s Day. It should be called, “Let’s Clean Out the Wallets of the Gullible Day.”

Mother’s Day…what a racket.

Oh sure…I’m going to Lowe’s early to pick up a flat of flowers for Ryno to give to his mom, but I’m using a Lowe’s gift card that I got for Christmas, so I’m not spending my own money.

I may spend a few bucks of my own. I’m getting a couple of donuts for Ryno, so I'll get a couple for his mom as well. Not because it’s Mother’s Day mind you.

I’ll do it because I’m a nice guy and the five to ten minutes that she spends scarfing down a couple of donuts is five to ten minutes she won’t be able to whine or ask me to clean or fix something.

Hell, I don’t even celebrate Mother’s Day with my own mom…for two reasons.

One, as I said, I think it’s a bogus holiday, and two? She’s been dead for nearly four years and I think it would be kinda creepy if I dug her up and took her to brunch.

Mother’s Day…uh-huh…what a crock.

I must be off now so I can get to Lowe’s as soon as they open and pick up the flowers for Ryno’s mom.

After I drop them off, she can plant them in the yard which I once meticulously landscaped, and which sits in front of the house which I once owned.

Amen, and Amen.

And now…Inky and Lola!!


Cheers!!

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Mother's Day

I hope each and everyone of you smart, funny, uber-sexy moms have a wunnerful Mother's Day.

I am spending mine working in the BeerMines from 11-7 and then off to what has become my regular Sunday evenng Algebra tutoring session with Ryno.

Hopefully I'll manage to get some flesh shots of some Hot Mom's while working.

Amen and Amen.

And now, a touching song about motherly love by Tom Lehrer.

Cheers!!

Enjoy Muthas...It's A Celebration!!

Well it’s that time of year again…

Mother’s Day is upon us. I hope that all of you mothers out there enjoy your special Hallmark Holiday tomorrow.

I think my mom will have a nice day because come May in Ohio, the ground begins to warm up.

Being six feet under during an Ohio winter and spring is just so cold and damp. Here’s to you and your warmed up bones Mom, you were the best!!

I’m taking Ryno out to get something for his Mom this morning.

What does one get for a mother who has everything…that used to belong to me? Ha.

A nice candle, maybe?

I know that Ryno’s mom is candled out. She has enough candles to light the entire city of Bagwine for seventeen years.

Flowers, perhaps? Eh, no…for two reasons.

First of all, her mom and dad just bought her a pot full of flowers, a hanging basket, and some other flora.

And the second reason? When I buy a couple of dozen annuals for Ryno to give her, I am the one who typically ends up planting them.

And well…planting flowers in a yard that is no longer mine, kinda irks me.

Of course, they always look good when I plant them because I water them with my tiny, tiny tears as I put them in the dirt.

So, I think I’ll take Ryno to a restaurant and pick up a gift certificate so he can take his mom out for breakfast on Mother’s Day.

I think that would be sweet. They could down some eggs and bacon tomorrow and then go to church.

I know what you’re thinking, and you’re right…I’m selfless. Sometimes it’s sickening how sweet I am.

Of course, even if I get him a twenty dollar gift certificate, his mom will still have to shell out another ten or fifteen bucks for breakfast.

Why so expensive for breakfast, you ask?

Because even though Ryno is rail thin, that boy can toss back the groceries faster than Rosie O’Donnell at an all-you-can-eat Swiss Steak buffet.

Oh, to have the metabolism of a 14 year old boy. The little shit. But, he’s mine and I love him.

And because I love him, I make sure we do things for his mom. Sometimes, it does tick me off that I do the things I do for her, but…

The things I do for her make him happy, help him to relax, and more importantly, I think someday he will realize that the things I did on her behalf weren’t just to be nice to her…

I was doing those things for him as well, and that I was putting his feelings before mine.

And THAT is what is important.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you mothers out there. I hope you have a great day tomorrow.

Cheers!!

P.S. David truly appreciated those of you who welcomed him to the blewwgosphere yesterday. He was quite amused.

And Starr? A Head's Up. I think he’s making travel plans to the West Coast as we speak. ; )~

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Happy Mother's Day!!

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you muthas and welcome to Sunday in Bagwine, Ohio.

It is going to be 57 and rainy here today, which is fine because I have to work anyway.

I am off to get a hanging basket for Ryno to give to his Mom, come back here to take a shower, and then be at work by 10:45 A.M..

Weeeeeeeeee. It’s good to be the King.

My service today revolves around one of the greatest women I have ever known…My mom.

Mary may have been the Blessed Virgin and the bearer of the Holy Baby Jeebus, but my mom bore nine sarcastic SOBs.

AND, did a damn good job at it. Top that Miss “Quit Your Whining Joseph, it Truly was Immaculate” Mary. Ha!!

My mom raised seven boys and two girls pretty much on Dad’s one income, a plethora of meatloaf, and a bolo paddle.

She did of course, save the best, Me, for last, and thus she was worn out by then and I escaped the paddling.

My mom could make ten dollars last ten weeks, and you’d still feel loved, well fed, and like you were King of the World.

For most of her life, she worked hard raising the kids, taking care of the house, and spending time at the Principal’s office.

My mom did it all…from being involved in politics, attending every damn boring school program, and being a devout Catholic.

I should put a caveat on that last part…Being a devout American Catholic. She loved the Church, but constantly bitched about the hierarchy.

In spite of her half German (or more accurately, Prussian) roots, she wasn’t a big fan of Blitzkrieg Benny being elected Pope.

She buried her oldest son, her husband of 53 years, along with many other things that she wanted to do.

But to her, she had the job of raising a family, and she did it well. And all the while, with an incredible sense of humor.

So Mom, even though you’ve been gone almost two years, you are still ever present with me, and the remaining brood.

I know that at least for me, any sadness of your passing has been replaced with moments of chuckling when I think of you.

And that, is as it should be…

So in spite of your anger over not one of your boys becoming a priest, enjoy this Mother’s Day.

Have a few beers with Dad, and brother Phil, and enjoy looking all young and sexy like in you did in that picture from years ago.

Amen, and Amen.

And now, our Sunday Serenade…Enjoy this song by Madness that kinda captures the feel of my house when growing up.



Cheers!!

If you get the chance, listen to Turnbaby's Blog Talk Radio show tonight at 8 EDT. For details, click HERE.

Half Nekkid Thursday: Happy Mother's Day

Mothers’ Day is Sunday; How shall I celebrate it?

By getting nekkid with that lovable caretaker of Wally and Theodore…

Everyone’s Mom, June Cleaver!!
Love how I captured that twinkle in her eye!!

Yeah baby, she doesn’t wear a pearl necklace ‘cause it’s pretty…

She’s making a statement about getting her late 50’s, black and white freak on.

When Ward’s away, the Matt-Man and June’s beaver shall play!!

Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday!!

And to all of you sexy muthas out there, have a wonderful Mother's Day.

Cheers!!