Sunburns and Birthdays

I am a bad man…a bad, bad man. I haven’t posted and have not read your blogs or even responded to your comments the last couple of days. I havent even been answering my e-mails. The distractions started late Friday morning.

My brother, Party Marty, called Friday and asked if I would like to go golfing with him. Since he offered to pay, I said, “Hell Yeah!!” We got a cart, a cooler full of Miller Lite, and a box of 24 golf balls. Four hours and eighteen holes later, we had nine balls, no beer, and I had a atomic sunburn on my big bald head. I looked like a stocky, upside-down thermometer. When I got home I was so pained and drained, that I just had a couple of glugs of Rose and fell asleep on the couch.

Saturday morning, I was going to post an Inky and Lola cartoon, but when I turned on my computer I read an e-mail that stated the following:

Mr. Matt-Man,

We the undersigned, will no longer perform acts of frivolity for either you or your readers until we are fairly and duly compensated. Until you move beyond your Wal*Mart ways and acknowledge our worth to your site by compensating us, consider us on strike.

Solidarity,

Inky and Lola
North American Stick Figures Union, Local VIII

I am all for compensating Inky and Lola, but I have one question. What the hell do you pay a stick figure? Also, if they demand health care, will I have to hire a tree surgeon? I’ll report back on the progress, but you can see what has been distracting me from my typical blog regimen.

On the upside of life, today is a big day here in Bagwine, Ohio. Today marks the birthdays of Schmoop’s brother Dave, my old girlfriend and finger flipper Sherri, and the one and only Bill Clinton.

Dave turns 54 today. The bastard doesn’t look like it, but he is indeed 54. In honor of his B-Day, we will watch baseball, eat food that isn’t good for us, and drink a good bit of alcohol. Cheers to you David.

Sherri turns 43 another year older today. In honor of her birthday, I am going to have a vision of how much fun we had some 20 years ago. I guess that is not much of a present for her, but it will give me a smile and a hard-on for a couple of minutes this afternoon.

Lastly, we have the birthday of Bill Clinton. In his honor, I asked Schmoop to put on a blue dress and give me a blow job. She didn’t say yes or no, but I think by her putting a cigarette out on my forehead indicates that it won’t be happening. I guess I’ll just smoke a cigar.

So folks, that’s what has been going on in my life. I hope you have been enjoying your weekend. If you get a moment, please wish these three fine folks a Happy Birthday, and I'll try to catch up with you all. Cheers…

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