Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Fidel Castro Resigns: Matt-Man Whips Out His Organ

Put your makeshift raft into dry dock and call the New York Yankees, the Revolution is over. I say again, La Revolución es más!!

It’s official Fidel Castro will not accept another term as President of Cuba. He has resigned as President of the Communist Caribbean country after 49 years of rule.

As shockwaves are going through the international political community, entrepreneurial Casino Resort developers everywhere are jacking off in synchronicity with peso potential glee…


“Hola, and welcome to Bally’s de Havana, Mr. and Mrs. Johnson!!”

But, let us not jump the gun and take Castro’s resignation as the end of rusty iron handed rule on the island.

While Fidel, who is 81, is resigning, it is expected that he will be replaced by a new, much younger Cuban Dictator in the form of his brother Raul, who will be a mere 77 years old in June.

I for one hope that democracy does not come to this island nation. If democracy flourishes, that will put those people who manufacture spare parts for 1959-1965 Chevys and Buicks out of work. Let’s just take a deep breath, and be careful what we wish for.

Now, let me get on with what I had intended to talk about. Sheeeeeeee’s Baaaack!! Yep, this sleek, sweet, music maker is back in my possession after wresting it away from exile at my son’s house.

My Casio CTK-491 and I have been reunited. From here on out, you not only will be able to hear me sing such Bagwine classics as, The Resurrection, but listen to me play along as well.

Matt-Man’s You Tube Site
will be rockin’.

I have even given this beauty a name. Her name is Tyra…Tyra Soundbank. And let me tell you, I am going to be pounding away on Tyra all day today. We will be making some bee-yoo-tee-ful music together.

I haven’t played in quite awhile, but in only an hour yesterday, we hammered out the music to Little Eva’s song, The Locomotion so we can put it to my tune, The Resurrection. Praise Jeebus and let me rub Tyra’s big speakers.

I will practice very hard over the coming weeks, so that I can headline at the new Amusement Park that I am developing. I want to build a religious themed family fun park, complete with thrilling rides, great food, and filled with the Holy Spirit.

The idea just came to me so I don’t even have a name for it yet.
Perhaps I could call it King of Kings Island, Six Flags Over Jesus, Busch Hanging Gardens of Babylon, or if I want to get a little playful and risqué, By Gollywood…just not sure, more on this tomorrow.

Before I go, I would be remiss if I didn’t give a Happy Birthday Shout Out to one of the original commenters on Bagwine Ruminations. Happy 41st Birthday to Mo of It’s a Blog Eat Blog World.

Have a fun-filled day my flamboyant friend, and know in your heart that you’ll always be a princess to me.

Cheers!!

76 comments:

Cheesy said...

Amen and pass the CONCHITA GUAVA MARMALADE!!!

said...

Viva free booze night tonight in Miami - Non-revolutionary Hour 8-9 - all drinks (except vodka) 1/2 price

Matt, first time to your blog; it's most impressively cool.

Hey, view moi's film/research @ YouTube, if'in ya wants.

WARNING: Contains info on how the 'one god' thingy got started

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7iQRFP_e90

Stay on groovin' safari,
Tor

said...

Oh, Cheesy, "AMEN" is a most close groove in moi's film

Hey, does Free booze at 1/2 price makes sense?
About as much sense as slave holders writtin' and signin' a piece of paper that states "All men are created equal."

Stay on groovin' safari,
Tor

Schmoop said...

Cheesy: Let's celebrate by doing shots of Cuervo and dancing the horzontal rhumba. Cheers!!

Tor: Ha...Thanks for stopping by. I'll make sure to check out your site and the You Tube link today. Cheers!!

leelee said...

Cheesy, don't forget the queso de crema y galletas. Yum. I live in South Florida and am married to an honest to god Cuban..kinda like Ricky to my Lucy...should be interesting to see how the day shapes up.

Viva la Cuba!

Schmoop said...

Leelee: Things could get rocking and rolling in Miami today. Don't get too outta hand or "Ricky" will ask you to do some 'splainin'. Cheers!!

Liz Hill said...

Damn it!!! You used 'splainin' before I could LOLOL

I was wondering when you were gonna employ tha keyboard skills sugar. It will be a much needed infusion to your campaign.

Schmoop said...

TB: Ha...I guess I came first this time.

I'm a little rusty on the ivories, but it shouldn't take too long to get back into shape. Cheers!!

leelee said...

LUUUUUUUUUUCCYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!

Schmoop said...

Leelee: It's a celebration, call Ehtel and Fred. Cheers!!

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

Does this mean that the leadership of Cuba is Castro Convertible?

Schmoop said...

Bond: Don't switch from a Castro in mid stream. You wouldn't want to sidetrack the unparalleled success that is Cuba. Cheers!!

leelee said...

I'll call them as soon as little Ricky stops playing those annoying drums!

RW said...

Have fun tickling them ivories, look forward to your tunes!

Schmoop said...

Leelee: I just wanna bang on the drum all day. Cheers!!

Roger: Thank ya sir...I'm gonna start tickilin' away shortly. Have a good one. Cheers!!

Unknown said...

"Hi Tyra Soundbank!"

Happy Birthday to Mo ♥

Schmoop said...

Sanni: She is almost as hot as you...almost. Cheers Sanni!!

Odat said...

Looking forward to the organ grinding!
Peace

Mo and The Purries said...

Castro & Casio & Mo, oh my!

Thanks for the b-day shout out, my friend!
cheers,
mo

Schmoop said...

Odat: Ha...You can catch me doing that on any given day at any given time. Cheers!!

Mo: Happy Birthday to you Mo-Glenda...Enjoy your B-Day omelet and the rest of your day. Have fun, and Cheers my friend!!

Lex Valentine said...

The new-old Castro dyes his hair. How icky. He and Richard Petty need to do Clairol commercials.

I'm eagerly awaiting your musical ruminations.

The fairy pic... classic.

Schmoop said...

Winter: You may be on to a hair coloring marketing juggernaut. My piano/keyboard "skills" are slowly coming back to me.

Mo is a grand looking Princess isn't he? Cheers Winter!!

Karen said...

Pounding away on Tyra all day - quite an vision...

Schmoop said...

Karen: It is a vision that I have in my head quite often. Purrrr. Cheers!!

Jay said...

"I say again, La Revolución es más!!"

The Revolution is MORE?



Anyway, I'm so glad that America's hard-line policy towards Cuba forced Castro out. And in less than 50 years too! Very impressive!

Can't wait for the new videos with the added musical accompaniment.

Schmoop said...

Jay: I only speak Spanish as well as Google transltes it. And that's what it came out to be.

Yeah, American foreign policy really gave Fidel a diplomatic South-Central Smackdown, albeit in slow motion. Cheers!!

Lynda said...

Yay, I am so happy! For you and your Tyra, reunited after all this time, excellent...
Happy Birthday MO, have a day from a fairy tale and sho' you do make a fine princess... hahaha...
Castro's bro is worse than he was, plus he is friends with Chavez and a whole new round of American pressure is about to begin... Have fun with the sound machine and wish I was playing with ya~~~ :)))

Lynda said...

Do the Resurrection... hahaha, that was pretty good there MM, born entertainer, no doubt.... :)))

Schmoop said...

Lyn: Never trust anyone named Raul...And by the way,

"wish I was playing with ya~~~ :)))"

I think it just moved when you typed that. Cheers Lyn!!

Schmoop said...

Lyn: Ha..Thanks, it's my personal favorite. Cheers!!

Deb Hernandez said...

La Revolución es no más!! (The revolution is no more) It will be interesting... Raul, is sorta the Cuban version of Billy Carter (Raul cerveza anyone?)and it could easily be said to him that "I met Fidel and you Sir, are no Fidel!" I think though, that all those Miamians who are putting the "for sale" signs up and making plans to hit the beaches of Havana, pink flamingo tucked under one arm, deed to the house that their family lost during the revolution in the other, are going to be in for a real shock. The Cubans that remained behind were dirt poor---Fidel was their savior and they love the man. They may live in a prison society, but at least they are feed and sheltered,which was more than could be said for their treatment under the Prío watch.

The Aging Disco Diva might just have to swoop down there and fill the void after Fidel goes to that big cigar factory in the sky. I too am stuck in the past (70's, not the 50s though) I have an endless number of menial, demeaning jobs for my minions, so the Cubans would feel useful....and my first move would be to modernize the Cuban car industry by replacing those tacky pre-disco era Chevys with exploding Pintos, Gremlins, Chevettes and Pacers.

the Book of Keira said...

That picture of Fidel is smooookin' hot!

So glad to hear of your reunion with Tyra. May you tickle her keys until she can't take it any more.

Om a realted topic, now maybe you can be the composer for my porno that I'm making. I'm thinking something sexy with a little bit of a pre-programmed backbeat and some hand clap action. All I can play are theme songs... MacDonalds and the Beverley Hills Cop theme songs are two I excel at.

Schmoop said...

Diva: Billy Carter lives and is alive and well in Havana. Interesting.

Y'know, through all of what you said, one thing really stuck out. The Cubans could have demanded a change in society had we promoted the wonders of the Pinto and Gremlin through off shore radio broadcasts. You are a genius.

Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

108: Bow Chicka Wow Wowwwwwww.

I have actually do have a bank of percussion sounds on my keyboard, and yes, hand clapping is one of them.

I'll make sure to come up with some ass slapping good soundtracks for your burgeoning porn career. Cheers!!

Desert Songbird said...

Looks like the bartenders in the US won't need to dust off their mojito making skills. Not that I've had a decent one since I left SoFL.

Actually, I think Harrah's will be the first one into the "open" market that is Cuba. They seem to have cornered the market here on all of our local rezes.

Schmoop said...

Songbird: Harrah's, Bally's...doesn't matter. Some strong drinks, a blackjack table, and a couple of hot nekkid Cuban babes and I am set. Cheers!!

none said...

Oooh write us a castro song! that would be awesome.

Schmoop said...

Hammer: That is the best suggestion I have heard all day. I'll get to work on it tonight. Cheers!!

jillie said...

I am sure Tyra is one happy lady now since the reunion. Here's to tickling the ivory!

Maybe I'll have a mai tai to celebrate
;o)

Schmoop said...

Jillie: As far as Tyra is concerned, I hope to be tickilin' the ebony. ; )

See that you do increase your Mai Tai intake missy. Cheers!!

Dana said...

Screw Fidel! A longing gaze at your organ is far more newsworthy!

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

So, for the amusement park, you will need rides and games... you know that game where the frogs pop up and you hit them with a hammer, you can have Jebus pop up and hit him with a cross and you can call it "God Smack"

and you can have a roller coaster ride that takes you through the little town of Bethlehem instead of a coal mine and you can call it "The Cradle Train"

And how about a haunted house where you get frightened that you can call "The House of Judas"?

Schmoop said...

Dana: True...Don't just look at it...Play my organ, baby, play my organ. Cheers!!

Bond: I'll take those under advisement. I'm more concerned as to whether I should have a Kosher section of the park. Jews like to have fun too. Cheers!!

Tequila Mockingbird said...

i kind of want democracy to happen. i LOVE cuban cigars. they would be way cheaper if they were entirely legal. because what's better than cohiba-fucking your lady friend? NOTHING.

leelee said...

lol at what Dana said.

Schmoop said...

Tequila: Yeah you're right. A smokin' woman and a smokin' cigar gettin' it on...What could be hotter? Cheers!!

Leelee: Don't encourage her...Wait. That was a good thing she said...Go ahead, encourage her. Cheers!!

Marilyn said...

I can't wait to hear the tunes!

Schmoop said...

Marilyn: Me neither...I hope I still "have it". Good luck with the meat AND cheese thing. Cheers!!

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

Judas was a Jew dude....

sheesh

and ..ummm they did call Jesus "King of the Jews"

do you need to go back to religion school?

And you can always call the ride that shakes and spins the "Shiva Shuttle"

Anonymous said...

New tunes to come! Whoo hoo. :)

Oh, and Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday dear MorgEn,
Happy Birthday to you!!!

Schmoop said...

Bond: Thanks for the theology lesson St Augustine. Cheers!!

CrAzY: I hope all is well with you and the one in the works. Take Care. Cheers Tish!!

DirkStar said...

"Help, I Fidel down and I can't get up!"

Schmoop said...

Dirkstar: Ha...I hope everything settles down for ya and you can get up off of your corn chip for years to come. I'm sure you will. Rock On, Dont Eat the Yellow Snow, and Cheers!!

Jahooni said...

Pounding on Tyra... why am I jealous over this???

I sang Happy Birthday to everyone this year already... I will not do it again.

Fidel who?

Schmoop said...

Jahooni: Well you are always welcome to join Tyra and me.

I specifically did not request anyone to go stop by Mo's site because of your comment on the last B-Day post I made.

I am always looking out for my readers. Cheers Jahooooooooni!!

cathy said...

That's an ompressive organ you've got there!

Raven said...

Awwww...Cathy beat me to the comment I was going to make. Glad you won custody of Tyra. I look forward to lot's of musical interludes from you!

Anonymous said...

Dammit! I'm too delirious to read all those words! I only came to see your organ.

TEASE!!

Schmoop said...

Cathy: Why can't all women tell me the same things that you do? Cheers!!

Raven: She's my baby. I will try to put forth a motherlode of good vibrations with it Raven. Cheers!!

Metal: Hey, it is pretty sweet looking isnt it? Cheers!!

Jahooni said...

Really? I was wanting to ask if you needed my assistance ;-) I "hum" really well.

Schmoop said...

Jahooni: By all means, that kind of assistance is always appreciated. Cheers!!

Ed & Jeanne said...

I think your organ is an 'older' model...

Schmoop said...

VE: That may be so, but it is powered by a most powerful transformer. I can still hit all of the high notes. Cheers!!

Sandee said...

Word has it that Chaves will try to take over Cuba. I hope not, but he'd like to be sitting right next door to big bad America.

Happy Birthday Mo... :)

Schmoop said...

Sandee: Hugo isnt't going anywhere but to a Venzuelan bank to cash some Citgo money. Cheers!!

Chelle Blögger said...

Yay!! I love hearing that you are playing with your organ again because I am a big fan of your You Tube videos! The Resurrection tune is my favorite. :D

Travis Cody said...

Good thing you got the keyboard so you can compose a catchy song for the evening parade down main street at your theme park.

I'm looking forward to the music.

Cheers!

Schmoop said...

Offended: Thank ya ma'am. I try to honor the Lord in song whenever I can. Cheers!!

Travis: I will try not to let your musical sensibilities down my good man. Cheers!!

Jahooni said...

do rae me fa so la tee doooo! do you hear it?

Schmoop said...

Jahooni: Take away the "rae" in between the first two words and it says, "do me." Yeahhh Babyyyy. Cheers!!

Unknown said...

Well, some parts of me are ebony and ivory, too *grin*

Schmoop said...

Sanni: Then I guess I will have to tickle you all over. Cheers Hot Stuff!!

Unknown said...

Mo, I am shocked you let him live after that picture.

Tyra Soundbanks, I sure hope you gave her some shock absorbers for all that pounding you plan on doing.

Schmoop said...

Mama: No shock absorbers...Tyra likes it raw and rough. Cheers!!

katherine. said...

mateo y piano...this ought to be interesting....

how long do you think it'll be before we lift our embargo?

Schmoop said...

Kat: You'll be calling me:

Mattarace'...

I don't think the embargo will be relaxed until Raul bites the big one. Cheers!!