Super Tuesday was just that, somewhat Super. I was glued to my TV, while feasting on my Last Supper.
It was a Donatos Serious Meat Pizza with Chicken Wings. Yum-Oh!! But I digress...
After last night, John “There Will Be More Wars” McCain has now nearly reached the half way point in getting the number of delegates needed to capture the GOP nomination.
And the Democrats? Obama won more states, and Hillary Clinton won the big states.
Hillary “Hated By People, Who Don’t Know Why” Clinton is currently up by a mere 100 delegates or so on Barack “The Middle Class Messiah” Obama.
And what about the others in the race?
Mike “Sodomite Smiter” Huckabee won five states, mainly in the Bible-Thumpin’, Sister Marrying, south (odd how those two differing adjectives both apply to that region)…Sorry Jay.
Mitt “Aqua Net Man” Romney won several states in the west including Utah. A major factor in Romney’s victory in the Beehive State was capturing 100% of the vote of the 37,897 direct descendants of Brigham Young.
Watch out Obama!! If Romney captures the White House, black people may go back to being thought of as creations of the Devil.
So, what does all of this mean? It means we still have Huckabee aro
und to make fun of. There is some talk that a McCain/Huckabee ticket is in the works should McCain continue to win and capture the GOP nomination.After several hours of crying should those two capture the Oval Office come November, the potential humor factor of that administration would be unlimited.
Can you imagine…We’d have President God Dammit and Vice-President God Bless You.
These two together would be like having Patton and Gandhi, Attila the Hun and St. Augustine, or Ike and Tina Turner (with the beatings, but minus the provocative hip shaking) running our country…
Wouldn’t be our best years, but they could be our funniest years.
And now, let’s put a little God into the post, shall we? Today is the day folks. It is Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent.
It's the the beginning of my journey towards redemption, a journey fraught with Kidney Beans, Peanut Butter, fish sticks, and incredibly firm bowel movements.
As you can see from the picture, I have the obligatory blessed ashes upon my ever expanding forehead.
Prior to applying these ashes from an extinguished Basic Full Flavor cigarette, I blessed them underneath my framed Eddie Money album cover signed by Mr. Money himself.
Let the Devil tempt me as he may. Let the ghost of Dave Thomas armed with a Wendy’s Double w/Cheese, haunt me in my dreams…
I shall not waiver nor stray from my 46 day vow of piety and meatlessness. Praise Jeebus, and let the Holy battle begin.
I will answer your Presidential issue questions tomorrow. Have a lovely Hump Day, and as always…
Cheers!!
75 comments:
Whipping up some Sloppy Joe's tonight...wanna come over and smell?
Bond: Thanks for the offer Satan, but I will be dining upon Minestrone Soup and English Muffins. Cheers Vinny!!
Lol God Dammit and God Bless you you crack me up!
Obama could recruit ole Bill Clinton (the first black president) and they could be Amos and Andy.
Good stools to you Sir!
You're looking a little "Charles Manson-ish) with that ash on your forehead.... I'm scared!
Blasphemer! How could anyone compare the ashes to a swastika?
Besides, we can't tell how wild-eyed you are since you're wearing shades...
Hammer: Ha. Thanks. Amos and Andy? That's pretty good. Cheers!!
Roger: Thank you much for your concern for my colon. Cheers!!
Leighann: Hmmmm. Charles Matt-Son, perhaps? Don't worry...I may stalk you but I would never knock you off. Well, not in the terminating way. Cheers!!
Songbird: Swastika? You are just jealous because God likes me more than you. As far as the shades...
I had to wear them because I was having a Holy Vision at the time. Cheers!!
Songbird: I just realized what you were talking about as far as the swastika. I'm a moron. However, God still like me best. Cheers!!
Matt~~ I will do my best NOT to post meaty foodies for the upcomng weeks... Maybe I should stick to baking sweets this next month.
Lawrd almighty... the talk radio hosts were eating their young yest! I was amuzed....
Cheesy: Post your meat all you want. I would love to see pictures of your meat.
Yeah, John "Liberal" McCain has all of the right wing talkers in a tizzy. Cheers Hot Stuff!!
Matt your Indiana Jones Temple of Doom manuever this morning has left me slumped in this chair, can you take the award and give back my real heart? PLEASE!
"Can you imagine…We’d have President God Dammit and Vice-President God Bless You."
Does that not scare anyone else? Certainly it does me, but hey now they say WI may actually count for something in the voting process this year...YEAH. Better than only being known for brats, cheese, cheeseheads and BEER!
Mama Bear, who is feeling a bit heartless at the moment, and wonders why....
Okay everyone hope Matt skips this comment....I say we torture Matt for oh, 46 days or so and include meat related topics on a rotating basis...
Anyone with me?
Hey, he stole my heart this morning, and I am not talking love baby...
I'm sure there was more to this post, but I lost my mind when I saw the pizza and wings!
You know your meat always distracts me!
Mama: Okay. I'll give it back, even though it is so warm and squishy.
Yeah, Ohio will count for once in the primary as well. As far as your meat posts...The Lord is my shepherd, I shall fear no hot juicy bratwurst. Cheers!!
Metalmom: Knowing you are looking at my meat and drooling, turns me on to no end. My libido thanks you. Cheers!!
Damn, I missed the whole thing. You know you have to post dirty pictures if you want me to pay attention during these political times!
Geez, now I have to engage in a grammar lesson. Matthew, when comparing only two items, the superlatives would be "good and better." "Best" would apply when comparing three or more items; hence, when saying that The Lord God Almighty likes you more than me, you'd say, "God likes me better."
There. Don't you feel better now?
Besides, The Blessed Virgin Mother holds me in pretty high esteem, you jackass, so nanner, nanner, nanner.
*sticks out tongue*
Songbird: Do I feel better about what?
My eyes glazed over a soon as I began reading your comment. But I should point out that you should have used a comma, and not a period between "There" and "Don't". Cheers!!
Real: McCain and Huckabee standing so close together is pretty dirty. Cheers!!
Mmmmmmmm Donatos is the best pizza---you went out in style Matty.
You know ---I think I need to get the number for the one that delivers to you --I'm sure Schmoop would enjoy some ultimate meat while you are depriving yourself.
TB: It is good. But don't bother calling them for Schmoop; she already has unlimited access to the Ultimate Meat. Cheers!!
I can't think anything scarier than a McCain/Huckabee victory in November.
Maybe Huckabee's first official act as VP could be to go to Jordan so that he might realize that the US and Jordan are Allies and we normal relations with them. He seems to think that we don't. Maybe he could also be given a map since he doesn't know where Jordan is.
Jay: Scary but, oh the comedic value...Well, until they run things into the ground.
Huck is a bit diplomatically and geographically challenged isn't he? Cheers!!
I don't know Matt, but I get this feeling Mama Bear is going to put you out on a spit somewhere rotating until we smell sweet victory.
The period makes a statement. In more ways than one.
Deb: Bring It On!! I will wrap myself in armor made of Tuna Salad, and Lima beans. Cheers!!
Songbird: And it's never a good one. Cheers!!
Interesting post and discussion going on here... love the pic, you are looking like pretty hot, Mr. Prez hopeful, yet, beyond tempting... hahaha... the bars in the background? Is that Schmoop's way of keeping you away from temptation, that is meat, meat, and more meat??? Please sire, we need you to win this election, for the current options are scaring the hell out of me... McCain and Huckabee? Oh mercy, do not let it happen... Scariest race I think we have ever seen~ Enjoy your first meatless day and be blessed... :)))
Lyn: I'm not looking merely hot; I'm looking Holy Spirit Hot!!
Those are blinds behind me, but if they were bars, they'd be there to keep Schmoop from escaping.
I will do my best to keep the angry old man, and the Huckster out of office. Cheers Lyn!!
The Pizza and the Wings look great. Now I'm hungry. I'll be eating meat today. I won't try to tempt you though.
Love you analogy of the McCain/Huckabee ticket. Bwahahahahaha. Right on the money too. Have a great day Matt-Man. :)
Sandee: Thank ya very much. Enjoy your meat, and have a great day as well. Cheers!!
i can't handle the political crap until at least the 6 month countdown....I like others can't stand the election marathon...
for lent....I was raised catholic and escaped the guilt and shame of it all...I even served 8 years at a catholic elementary school...i've forgotten if fish is considered a meat....
good luck on your venture into meatlessness
Teamster: I was fortunate to have avoided the years of guilt and broken dreams sitting in a Cathoilc school.
As far as fish being meat or not...I won't answer that. Too many readers, oddly enough, get all up in arms about that issue. Cheers!!
My heart feels quite nice back in there, but it seems to be a little squished, dare I ask what you did to it??????
Oh, you know you want a bratwurst....maybe send you some after Lent? Maybe, depends on how you behave you naughty boy you!
Mama: Sorry to have make it a bit mishapen. It should go back to its original shape at some point.
Why do I find it so arousing when you say, "naughty boy"? Cheers!!
I am still stumped. Aren't fish sticks meat? Didn't we already debate this... and didn't we all agree that they were in fact meat, therefor you should not eat them.
I think you look kinda hot with the cigerette/cross lent thingy magingy on your forehead. Does that rub off easily or will it last for the entire season of lent?
And... i didn't see any beer with the pizza and wings. Please tell me you had beer.
Is Obama a Laminite? His skin tone is not quite that of flint...
Is it wrong to notice how much his wife, Michelle, looks like the cartoon character Magilla Gorilla?
if the whole campaign thing doesn't work out maybe she can get a job at cartoon Network...
Jahooni: No we didn't all agree on the fact that fish is meat. It's my salvation and more importantly, my colon, and I will decide what is meat or not in my world.
The ashes are gone from my head, but the light and the way remain seared upon my soul.
You need not ask...Rest assured that there was, and always is, plenty of beer and wine being ingested here. Cheers!!
Dirk: Magilla Gorilla, eh? Do we really want to diminsh the comic beauty of the Cartoon Network by remaking that cartoon with Michelle? I say not!! Cheers!!
I was glued to the CNN last night until I passed out, naked on the floor of my living room. I think it was even better than the Superbowl.
Ash Wednesday scared the shit out of me, once. I was in a taco restaurant in Juarez, Mexico and everyone had crosses on their heads. I thought they were all zombies and freaked out. A security guard had to calm me down. Your picture brings back memories of fear... I just have to remember that below the ashes is a whole buttload of sexiness.
I'll be alright.
Now now Matty, the Latter Day Egomaniacs are more enlightened then that. They accept their chocolate brothers with open arms. Just so long as they are cool with going to Second Heaven - IF they are good Mo's. Rice Crispy snacks for all!!
Naked on the floor with CNN blaring? Do you realize that Larry King may have ogled you? Creepy...
Sorry about giving you a zombie flashback but my "buttload of sexiness" thanks you. Cheers!!
Starr: I guess you are right...Just as long as "those folk" know their place. Need milk for your Rice Kripie Treat? Hope you and kidlet are better. Cheers!!
Just call me satan...I'll be thinking of you while I eat at Brasa next week...
www.brasagrill.com
Raven: Nice looking place. Do they have hot Brazillian women working there?
Eat some beef for me, and toss down a couple of oysters in my honor. Have a great time. Cheers!!
President God Dammit and Vice-President God Bless You....laughing laughing...this is brilliant.
you cut quite the figure there all dressed up in "ashes and blackcloth"
you can eat meat....because the meatless mandate was made to save the porteguese fishing industry a couple hundred years ago...any good catholic or student of history could confirm that for you....
nice bling.
Just entertaining myself with all the comments here....(in other words I have no comment)
Peace
Kat: Ha. Thank ya kind lady. And I plan on being buried looking just like that.
Even today, Catholics are not supposed to eat meat on Fridays during Lent. Unless, they perform an extra good deed. Pussies...
I am just doing it on my own without the prodding of Blitzkrieg Benny XVI. Cheers, and Bling to you!!
Odat: Your prescence is more than enough Odat. Cheers!!
Where's the beef?? Nooooo ... not *that* beef!
MSNBC is still having dreams of delusion. They just can't quite get those delegate numbers out of Obama's column despite proof to the contrary from various secretaries of state.
I'm still saving all my sympathy for you. Here have a hot dog.
Dana: Don't be teasing me, I still have your Fat Tuesday picture in my head, and I do have long arms. Cheers!!
Jamie: They'll get over it at some point...maybe. H-Rod is currently up by about 20 points here in Ohio.
You are a day late with the Hot Dog dammit. Cheers!!
Sounds to me you are already having withdrawls! snap snap snap
Jahooni: Ah, thanks. I'll be fine...After about a week and a half, I just become numb. Cheers!!
666 would have looked much better printed across your damn forehead!
Have you ever thought of renting out your forehead for ad space? Bet you'd make a killing!
Look out Ebay here comes Matt.......
PP: 666? That was so very hurtful, especially during this time of soul searching and reflection.
With that being said, I have actually thought about renting out my forehead. Perhaps a Porn Webiste would like to rent my head. Cheers!!
Oh man! What happened to my post?? SHEOTT!!! Well anyways, what I was saying is God help us all if Hillary is president. I loath the woman.
And, that pizza is looking REALLY good right about now. I'm a starvin marvin over here. Think I'll go and order a Bronx Pizza right now.
Happy Hump Day to ya Matt! ;o)
Jillie: My first choice dropped out weeks ago, so I am going to be voting for Hillary next month.
Enjoy the pizza, and I hope your foot is holding up well. Cheers!!
You are the only person I have ever encountered who can talk about politics and religion and still be entertaining. Is it because you are such a piss taker? I ask myself.
Adding a side salad to that pizza might make the bowel movements more movable, what the hell beer will do!
When you sort out the meat/ fish thing can you explain to me why some Greek fast days forbid olive oil but allow olives? It makes no sense to me.
Cheers Matt!
Cathy: Why thank you very much for the compliment.
Salad? What's that? As far as your questions about the fasting foods, it's all Greek to me. Yeah, I know, that was bad. Cheers Cathy!!
Oh I could post an entire blog on why I hate Hillary "Whichever way the political winds blow/Socialist/We'll take things away from you for the common good" Clinton.
I can't believe you ate Donatos and not Cassano's.
I'm going to polish off a big steak for dinner tonight. Medium rare.
Allie: Don't be dissin' H-Rod. We had Donatos because Schmoop's brother brought it to us as a send out of my meat days. Enjoy your steak, save me some blood. Cheers!!
Oooh yeah! Donato's is so good! Mattman my dear...are you loosing some weight? Or does the vertical line make you look slimmer?
**checks on chicken breasts in zesty teriayki sauce**
Julie: Mmmmmm Donatos. Yeah, I have lost a couple of pounds, and probably a few more over the next 46 days. Enjoy your fowl. Cheers!!
Is it too soon to start planning the feast for day 47?
so we know that you can't eat meat for another 46 days, but what about playing with it?
You didn't already answer the issues? My favorite..."was capturing 100% of the vote of the 37,897 direct descendants of Brigham Young."
Bwaaahaahaaa...
Darnit. I came over here to wish you a happy birthday via Songbird and got caught up in all this political stuff and forgot it!
Then I had to turn around and come back. It ain't easy making a U-Turn in the blogosphere.
And I was gonna sing and everything!
Travis: Not too soon at all...In my mind I am already eating a sausage and cheese omelet, and throwing back some White Castle's. Cheers!!
Jeff: Playing with it is fine. I gave up something that was difficult for me, not impossible. Cheers!!
Mimi: Ha...That was my fave line as well. Thanks for the wishes, and for your continuing use of your sexy pencil skirt. Cheers!!
yeah super happy b'day to ya Matt-man! may the lord give you strength for this super meatless lent.
Eyechan: Hiya stranger and thanks. I saw your name, and noticed that I left your link off when I switched over to my new format. I will most assuredly correct that right away. Cheers my good man!!
Matt Man - best of luck to you. Being Catholic, I know it's not easy to stick to lenten sacrifices. That's why I make the same one every year - stop listening to my mother (hey - it's been a winner since I was ten - don't fix if it aint' broke).
Love that pic - with the ashes, you look like you should be commanding a ministry for Satan. When are services?
SMOOCHES.
I'm forgetting something....hrm...oh yeah
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
Angell: Ha. Thanks for the well wishes. You think I look like a Satanic Minister? Hmmmmm?
Okay, I can live with that. Cheers Angell, and keep on not listenin' to Mom!!
Damn, I skip a day of Bagwine Ruminations and you show Donatos!
That'll learn me!
(we don't have Donatos up here in the arctic circle...)
Hmmm...has anyone noticed how much Huckabee resembles Richard Nixon?
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