Sunday, April 20, 2008

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Faith is a Funny Thing

As you may know, Pope Benedict XVI has been here in the U.S. for the last couple of days.

Benny will even say Mass today at Yankee Stadium.

Can you imagine how many smelly, hung-over, micks and dagos will show up for Communion? Oy Vay!!

Of course, his visit cannot go without some type of controversy. Comedian Bill Maher has supplied that controversy.

This past week Maher, who is vehemently anti-all religions, referred to Blitzkrieg Benny as a Nazi who wears funny hats.

He also said that had Benedict been in charge of a chain of day care centers, instead of the Catholic Church, and covered up sex abuse, he would have been fired and jailed.

Oh the Humanity, Mr. Maher!! How dare thou!?

Outrage over these comments abound from the likes of Faux News and Crappie-Crunching whack jobs such as Catholic League President, William Donahue.

There have even been calls for a boycott of Maher’s TV show and for the network on which he appears, HBO.

My sage, spiritual words to those of you who are offended:

Get over yourselves, and suck it up, you whiny, thin-faithed bastards. Amen.

Be you Christian, Jewish, Muslim or one who worships the mochachina beauty of Tyra Banks’ breastesses, ignore the slings and arrows cast upon you.

I poke fun at Catholics, Jews, evangelicals such as Rod Parsley and Joyce Meyer, and will in the near future, take on Islam.

My religious rants hopefully have, and will continue to elicit a strong laugh from my readers; however…

If my satirical diatribes bring about an outrage in someone stronger than that of the intended humor...


Does that not mean that my words are more powerful than that person’s faith?

If one truly has faith, no matter what that faith may be;

No words, no jokes, no satire, should be able to shake that faith, or elicit the gnashing of teeth.

And that my friends, is my message for this Sunday.

Amen, and Amen.

And now for our Sunday Serenade…Since we have discussed the topic of jokes and the ensuing outrage, I offer you the following.

I am a big fan of the Bee Gees’ music up until they decided to adorn platform shoes and become the Belles of the Disco Ball.

Here is a tune that pre-dates those days.


I’ll be gone most of the day today, but I will catch up with all of you and your blogs tomorrow.

Cheers!!

If you get the chance, listen to Turnbaby’s Blog Talk Radio Show tonight at 8 EDT. For details, click HERE.

71 comments:

Jamie said...

Mahar is Mahar. If he doesn't make you uncomfortable at least once per show, he isn't doing his job.

As long as one set of faithful aren't trying to destroy another set of faithful, they can all go their merry way.

Leighann said...

That's why I've conditioned my emotions to only work 14% of the time. If you don't give a rats ass what people say you can't get offended!

Halleluja my brother!

Jeff B said...

I don't know...after seeing that picture of Banks,I'm considering converting to Juguism.

Odat said...

I;m going out today to get me some Pope memorabilia!!!!! ;-) (not really).

That BeeGees song makes me sad. I love the song tho.

Peace

Matt-Man said...

Jamie: Indeed, and Amen to that. Cheers!!

Leighann: Preach it sister. I am a rock. Cheers!!

Jeff: Get in line behind me. But no funny business back there, ya hear? Cheers!!

Matt-Man said...

Odat: Yeah, it is kinda sad. Say hi to Benny for me. Cheers Odat!!

Micky-T said...

Here comes one of my looser moments...........

FUCK'M if they can't take a joke!

Matt-Man said...

Micky: That's another way to put it. Ha. Cheers Mick!!

Jay said...

My problem with the fundamentalists and conservative Christians is that they get more angry that things like the cild abuse scandal and preachers with prostitutes and preachers with male prostitutes get reported to the public than they do with the immoral activity. They seem to think that just reporting the truth is an attack on all Christians everywhere.

Matt-Man said...

Jay: And that, my good man, may be the biggest truism I hear all day. Cheers!!

katherine. said...

The bigger of a deal objectors make of Maher's comments...the more people hear them...and the more Maher loves it.

Donahue is the best agent for Maher in a long time...HBO rejoices!

and you forgot the spics....micks, dagos and spics...

Turnbaby said...

You are a sage Matty. As ever thanks for pimping my show sugar. Smooch

Matt-Man said...

Kat: Correct. Most of the people in an uproar never watch Maher anyway!!

Ah yes, I did leave out the spics. I am such a lousy bigot. Cheers!!

Matt-Man said...

TB: You are more than welcome. I'll be listening. Cheers!!

Winter said...

I rather like Benny's tour shirt. The bobble head is good too, but it would have been better in the big pope hat. I like Maher. I like that he pushes buttons. He's a little too pasty faced to push any sexual buttons for me tho. The man is really smart tho... rather like you Matt! ;)

Tug said...

We are getting way too politically correct here - if the people bitching about what people say would put as much time, effort & passion into helping with causes instead of going after what people say, imagine how different this country (and the world) could be.

Dana said...

It's a Matt-Man sandwich. I just got in line behind you to join Juguism. I'm sure you'd rather be between Tyra and me, but you'll just have to settle for being between Jeff and me!

Starrlight said...

More importantly, choke them if they can't take a fuck. Which, personally, I think explains a lot of problems in the world. Less preaching, more orgasms.

Hammer said...

I would have laughed had it been anyone but Maher. He is just too smarmy for people to not take him seriously.

jennifer said...

I am actually relieved that Maher is on the other side... he annoys me. I actually should pull for his salvation and enlightenment. I may mail him a tract or something. Helps with the guilt.

Your point about Faith being unshakeable was right on the money. You don't shake my faith but you do have a way of shocking me with your irreverance. Many nervous giggles here when I visit Matt-Man.

I hope that your weekend is great. Be blessed.

Jennifer

Roger said...

Don't hurt yourself!

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

If one can’t laugh at religions then those religions—or at least their proponents—ain’t in touch with God, who I believe, contrary to the preaching of many fundamentalists, laughs a lot. Of course, Mr. Maher is a high profile atheist who doesn’t give a damn and who generally gets away with his comments.

But you, dear Matt-Man! OK, keep making laughs at the expense of Jews and Christians (of all flavors), but please avoid Islam! Allah may be merciful, but he ain’t forgiving and neither are his clerics. Remember those Danish cartoons? I’d hate it if you had to do a Salman Rushdie, leave Bagwine, and change your blog name to something like “In Hiding to Prevent Decapitation.”

OK?

Matt-Man said...

Winter: Why thanks Winter. I will certainly take that as a compliment. Cheers!!

Tug: Not only that, just think how much better their sex lives would be. Cheers Tug!!

Dana: I just kicked Jeff to the groin. It's just you, me, and Tyra now. Be still my heart. Cheers Dana!!

Matt-Man said...

Starr: You hit the nail and the penis on the head. Cheers!!

Hammer: You are absolutely correct. While he does think he's a thinker...Hello, he is a comedian folks. Cheers!!

Jen: My weekend has been dandy, as I hope yours was. Eh, was a little edgy humor between bloggers. Cheers!!

Matt-Man said...

Roger: What? With the Muslims or catching up with you all? Cheers Roger!!

Nick: You shoud know me well enough to know, that it is exactly for all of the reasons that you mentioned, that I must create some Muslim humor. Cheers!!

Another Desert Rat said...

That song makes me sad, too.

Matt-Man said...

Desert Rat: Yeah me too. But it is very good. Cheers!!

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

But of course, dear Matt-Man, and that’s exactly why I would do it. However, I have been told that I jump in even where fools fear to tread and I’ve believed you to be less, uh, self-destructive than I.

Matt-Man said...

Nick: I already have some great Allah Knock-Knock jokes written!! Cheers!!

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Well, go for it! I send you one of my clerical collars to protect your neck. My reading of The Quran indicates that Islam prohibits the killing of holy men of all religions. Of course, I don’t believe that Muslim terrorists have ever read The Quran.

Kimmie said...

Tread gently my friend, I tend to see a parody between this beautiful song and you.
Smiles,
Kimmie

Matt-Man said...

Nick: You are probably quite correct, and thanks for the protection. Cheers Nick!!

Kimmie: A parody or my death sentence? Cheers Kimmie!!

Kimmie said...

You pick....

I do not like this Sunday Accosting of my Faith. Call me what you want...I don't see the humor in it. I am proud to be a Catholic, to print something like this, was hurtful.

Get over yourselves, and suck it up, you whiny, thin-faithed bastards. Amen.

I will visit you every day but Sundays. You are a dear heart, but I just don't share the same feelings as you do in this type of humor.
Cheers Back,
Kimmie

Starrlight said...

Oh Matt...have I got some Allahesque one liners for you. Courtesy of my father. Who is as, if not possibly more, twisted than me! I'll email them to you :P

Matt-Man said...

Kimmie: That's fine, you must do what you feel is right, and compatible with your faith. Peace be with you. Cheers!!

Starr: Please do!! I want a fatwha pronounced upon me. Thanks for helping me get a contract put out on my life. That's Sweet. : ) Cheers Starr!!

Starrlight said...

Happy to help, I am an equal opportunity misanthrope =)

Matt-Man said...

Starr: And much like Mr. Bond himself, nobody does it better. Cheers!!

Lu' said...

Damned... It dawns upon me that I missed dis-service yesterday. I'll be back to clense in a bit.

Matt-Man said...

Lu: I absolve you of the sin of your abscence. Cheers Lu!!

The Absurdist said...

What pisses me off is that the Dali Lhama (spelling?) was in the US at the same time, but only 7000 people showed up to see him.

I don't understand, however, why he chose to come to the US at the same time as el popa.

Matt-Man said...

Abs: The Dalai Lama comes here with much greater frequency that a Pope. Plus I think there are just a few gazillion more followers of the Pope in the U.S. than the Dalai Lama. Cheers!!

Starrlight said...

The Lama is my hero. That is one very cool man. I did get to see him in person and he is really so very genuine. Anyone who states that you should love and cook with wild abandon is ok in my book.

And being that I am Greek Orthodox, we have a loooooong history of being suspicious of the pointy hat brigate. Although I really think JP2 was a wonderful person even if I did disagree with his doctorine.

Matt-Man said...

Starr: I always thought of JP2 as being, "cool". I don't say that about too many people. Cheers!!

Starrlight said...

Loved him in Bono's Fly Shades...The Funky Pontiff

Matt-Man said...

Starr: Ha. And by the way, I would use the word "cool" in descibing you.

I think you and I may be siblings that were seperated at birth. Perhaps a result of Greco-Irish love that was covered-up. Cheers!!

Starrlight said...

Quite possible! Only half of me is greco (I'd venture a guess it is the half with the ass) and the other half is Danish and Swedish. You know those Norsemen...they were sluts!

Matt-Man said...

Starr: Your ass? Is it big, or are you saying it tastes like olives? Cheers!!

Starrlight said...

Child bearing hips, baby, child bearing hips. Might taste like olives. I eat enough olive oil!

Lu' said...

Well you know I love your humor. I believe if you can't take a joke then screw you. I stifle my humor a bit over at the site so as not to offend too many so I guess I don't think "screw you" too strongly? ANYWAY, hey alot of things I think funny maybe others not so much. Your humor, especially the religious makes my jaw drop and I gasp for air, but then I laugh, I laugh out loud because I GET IT and as you stated my faith can take a hit; it is strong.

Kimmie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kimmie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lu' said...

EXCUSE ME, I didn't even read your comment. I did not diserve your attack and that is what it was.

Matt-Man said...

Starr: Nice. Cheers!!

Lu: All things in moderation. But offensiveness, must be part of one's diet. Cheers Lu!!

Kimmie: Ummmm. I don't think Lu was talking about anyone in particular and then she went on to indeed talk about her own site. But, back to the future for me. Cheers!!

Matt-Man said...

See?

Kimmie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Micky-T said...

I reread this a few times and I'm sure, Kimmie has it all wrong and really hurt somebody. And now they left the room! Bummer!

Matt-Man said...

Kimmie: Not if they're constipated. Cheers!!

katherine. said...

I am always up for a good "kat" fight....

Kimmie said...

My Apologies Lu. I guess I did read it wrong and I am sorry if I hurt you.
Kimmie

Matt-Man said...

Kat: Rowwwr...Cheers!!

Kimmie: I appreciate that as well. Cheers!!

lu' said...

You did severly. I deleted my blog over it because I didn't want to deal such anger.

Matt-Man said...

Lu: Well this blows. I feel responsible. Sorry Lu.

Lu' said...

Baby if you were to blame I would not have come back :) Keep doing what you do because no one does it better.

Kimmie said...

Lu...I already said I was sorry, there is nothing more I can do.

As for you deleting your blog, that was your choice. I take no responsibility in your decision to do that.

For the record Lu...I am a person that very RARELY gets angry. I don't waste my time sweating the small stuff. I am a loving and kind individual by nature. BUT... if feel I am being attacked for what I believe in, especially my faith, I will attack right back. It is just who I am. I won't apologize for that. I misunderstood your comment, I have given you my apologies, there is no where else to go from here. We need to move on now. It is the only thing we can do.
Kimmie

Kimmie said...

Matt...I can be humbled when I am wrong. I can take full responsibility when I am wrong. I was wrong and have done my best to make it right.
Hugs,,
Kimmie

Matt-Man said...

Lu: Thanks Lu. But let me feel badly about this anyway, okay? Cheers Pal!!

lu' said...

Hmm smidge of the ole masochism? Do what you gotta do. I do :)

katherine. said...

speaking as one of those bornagain types...who finds mateo both wonderfully humorous and alarming offensive....and intentionally so...

maybe you guys want to take this discussion to an email exchange just between the two of you...just a thought.

unless of course you want us all to weigh in

Matt-Man said...

Kimmie: What is, is.

Lu: Of course I'm a bit masochistic. I was raised Catholic.

Kat: I thank you for your words and your timely advice.

Kimmie said...

Nah Kat...I am done with this...but thanks for commenting.

Matty my friend...you are so right!

Kimmie

jennifer said...

Oh Matt. I missed this until Kimmie told me about it. I guess I was blessed to not know, and now, I'm not as blessed. I don't want anywhere near in the middle of this, but you know I love her. I am so sorry that this "wee bit of Drama" unfolded this way. I haven't read Lu, but I am about to attempt to, if she is still blogging.

I have recently been questioned in my comments on how I feel about Global Warming (Tuesday's post). I was really lucky because Noelle and I have struck up a pretty cool email conversation about it and I am enjoying myself immensely. The enjoyment comes from having such a deep faith in where I stand. And that's with Baby Jeebus, BAY-bee!

Look, I think that when we talk about, opine, or make fun of issues, we are going to make a spark. This one just happened to be near someone who REALLY feels strongly about their faith, and I think, may have been vulnerable at that time as well. You know, and I know, that Kimmie is a truly sweet and loving lady.

But Matt, even though you seem to have taken this to heart, keep on making those sparks. I think you make some of us examine where we stand. You have done that for me. I have realized that I will not got to Hell for laughing at Nun-shagging priest humor. My Jesus is bigger than that!

You really are a good man, whether you want us to know it or not.

Love Ya Matt-Man!

Jennifer