Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Faith is a Funny Thing

As you may know, Pope Benedict XVI has been here in the U.S. for the last couple of days.

Benny will even say Mass today at Yankee Stadium.

Can you imagine how many smelly, hung-over, micks and dagos will show up for Communion? Oy Vay!!

Of course, his visit cannot go without some type of controversy. Comedian Bill Maher has supplied that controversy.

This past week Maher, who is vehemently anti-all religions, referred to Blitzkrieg Benny as a Nazi who wears funny hats.

He also said that had Benedict been in charge of a chain of day care centers, instead of the Catholic Church, and covered up sex abuse, he would have been fired and jailed.

Oh the Humanity, Mr. Maher!! How dare thou!?

Outrage over these comments abound from the likes of Faux News and Crappie-Crunching whack jobs such as Catholic League President, William Donahue.

There have even been calls for a boycott of Maher’s TV show and for the network on which he appears, HBO.

My sage, spiritual words to those of you who are offended:

Get over yourselves, and suck it up, you whiny, thin-faithed bastards. Amen.

Be you Christian, Jewish, Muslim or one who worships the mochachina beauty of Tyra Banks’ breastesses, ignore the slings and arrows cast upon you.

I poke fun at Catholics, Jews, evangelicals such as Rod Parsley and Joyce Meyer, and will in the near future, take on Islam.

My religious rants hopefully have, and will continue to elicit a strong laugh from my readers; however…

If my satirical diatribes bring about an outrage in someone stronger than that of the intended humor...

Does that not mean that my words are more powerful than that person’s faith?

If one truly has faith, no matter what that faith may be;

No words, no jokes, no satire, should be able to shake that faith, or elicit the gnashing of teeth.

And that my friends, is my message for this Sunday.

Amen, and Amen.

And now for our Sunday Serenade…Since we have discussed the topic of jokes and the ensuing outrage, I offer you the following.

I am a big fan of the Bee Gees’ music up until they decided to adorn platform shoes and become the Belles of the Disco Ball.

Here is a tune that pre-dates those days.

I’ll be gone most of the day today, but I will catch up with all of you and your blogs tomorrow.

Cheers!!

If you get the chance, listen to Turnbaby’s Blog Talk Radio Show tonight at 8 EDT. For details, click HERE.

A Saucy Scandal Strikes Bagwine

The new job that I have taken on is going really well.

The folks who work there are cool and I get to meet a varied group of people on a daily basis, but….

There may be a problem developing.

I have to work later today and most of the day tomorrow. I am already gone most nights during the week.

Because of all of this, I think Schmoop may have found someone else to satisfy her needs.

She no longer gets to enjoy my culinary skills or my world renown prowess in the bed. I think she has filled those voids with someone else.

Why do I think this?

I got home late Wednesday night. Schmoop was already in bed.

When I greeted her Thursday morning, her breath had the distinct smell of well cooked beef and brown sauce.

I said nothing. She went to work and since it was my day off, I cleaned the Bagwine abode.

As I wondered about the aroma of the strange cuisine on her breath, I made the bed. The source of her oral odor was discovered.

Among the cool, rumpled sheets I found a used condom, a chef’s hat, and puddles of gravy…well, it was either gravy or her or the sexual interloper has a serious STD.

I was shocked!! I was crushed!! I was overcome with a craving for Salisbury Steak!!

I have not been able to confront her about my discovery. I can only hope she will read this and apologize to me for my pain.

More importantly, I hope she will have her dirty bastard of a lover give me the recipe to that gravy. Wow, it smelled Dee-Lish.

And now, our Bagwine Ruminations Comment of the Week…

This week’s comment comes from a relatively new Bagwine drinker. He made a comment yesterday about Turnbaby’s Blog-Fo-Mercial©

This man did two things in one comment that I really get off on…appreciation of me and religious humor.

From yesterday’s post, Phfrankie Bondo of Steamboat Slough:

"Nice work, Matt-man! I too, dabble in the video mode so I can appreciate the effort that goes into making one of these...in the immortal words of Mother Teresa: "BINGO!"

Congrats for ropin’ this week’s COW Phfrankie, and keep the compliments coming.

If you get a moment folks, click HERE, and go congratulate Phfrankie on his impressive award.

Tomorrow's Sunday Morning Church Disservice will include some thoughts on Bill Maher’s Anti-Pope comments.

In the meantime, I am off to find more clues relative to the breaking Schmoop-Gate.

Enjoy your Saturday…

Cheers!!