Once again, there are a few new readers here at the Bagwine site.I feel a need to introduce myself to them, and perhaps, re-introduce myself to the regulars.
What better way to do that than to have the person who knows me best, (and looks incredibly HAWT in my leather jacket) answer a few questions?
Bagwine Heads…Unaltered answers from Schmoop, on questions posed by me, in pretentious, self-absorbed, third person form.
I understand that you and the Matt-Man have been living in sin for nearly eight years…why not get married?
Marriage never was, and never will be a priority for me. Why ruin a good thing? Besides, I don't want him to get all my millions.
I guess I should backtrack a bit, how did you and the Matt-Man meet?
I used to live across the street from his sister, with some asshole. Well, let's just say one night one thing led to another, and I don't live there anymore.
What is Matt-Man’s most annoying habit?
Breathing. I kid, because I love. Ummm let's see...ok Breathing. Seriously, he really doesn’t have any, and THAT is what is annoying.
On the other hand, what is Matt-Man’s most endearing quality?
I have two…kindness and understanding. He also gives great advice; if only the stupid SOB would take it himself.
Stupid? He claims to be smart. Is he?
Actually he is the smartest person I have ever known. Of course I haven’t known that many people. But, yeah, sometimes, I have to tell him to dumb it down.
Is Matt-Man always as fricking hilarious in everyday life as he is on his site?
Ummm…A big fat, NO!!
Which is bigger? Matt-Man’s ego, or his wanker?
I don’t know if I should answer this one…OK, ego. In fact, if his brother Marty comes over, I have to leave, because those two ginormous heads suck up all of the oxygen.
Matt-Man claims to be a great cook…Is it true, and if so, what’s your favorite dish?
He is a great cook, because he has the patience and love for it, which of course I do not possess.
Anything he makes is my favorite dish, but he does amazing things with chicken, chili, and dear God, his Loosemeat Sandwiches really are the bomb!!
Is Matt-Man as good in bed as he claims to be?
Absolutely fabulous. I got rid of all my B.O.B. toys shortly after meeting him. Regretfully, I had never had an orgasm during sex until I met him. Even more regrettable is that I told the cocky bastard that. (Ed. Note: Ha, take that, Bitches!!)
I want to thank Schmoop for playing along, and providing some insight.
If you have any other questions you’d like her to answer, I’m sure she would be more than happy to.
Have a great Monday all…
Cheers!!
71 comments:
It was worth the wait! I'm thinkin' you could get rich selling cheek cells so you could be cloned.
That was hilarious. Schmoop rocks. I think this site needs more Schmoop. ;-)
That's one hot momma you got thee Matt!
Hopefully one day as I am on my travels I will get to partake in said loosemeat... and a sammich too!
Schmoop is a saint for living with you all these years and not killing you.
Rock on, Schmoop. Keep Matty real.
Desert Rat: Ha. My ass and I thank you very much. Cheers Rat!!
Jay: She recently told me that she gladly leave here and go hang out with you, but she said, "Who wants to live in Arkansas?" Cheers!!
Cheesy: Loosemat does go so well with anything "Cheesy". Cheers!!
Songbird: She indeed is a saint. In this case considering me, the patron Saint of lost causes. Cheers!!
Seems as Miracle Gro is to plants, Schmoop is to your head-s. Fate, you were meant to make Ryno and you were meant to find Schmoop. Of course it takes two and I know, Ha! you aren't perfect, you are man after all. There is but one of those. No I don't buy into the he is a she bit. Anyhoodle, I chose to side with you on the who was MOST at fault of your marriage break up. Don't go all tar and feathers on the woman and then try and add a little sugar :)
Lu: I wasn't trying to tar and feather her. It's not in my nature to do that, unless it's somebody famous.
And I think you are quite right about your fate remark. Cheers Lu!!
I don't know Matt, Schmoop was awfully kind in this interview. Are you sure you weren't holding something over her head during this?? No, not that, but she does mention Loosemeat!
Dana: I was surprised by her level of niceness. Maybe it was the 15 Bud Lights she drank prior to the interview...Maybe it was the vodka sh edrank, during the interview. Perhaps it was a combination of the two. Cheers!!
Very nice interview it's nice to see the "softer" side of our dear Matt-Man. I'm also relieved that his sexual prowess is not an urban legend. Rock on Matt-Man!
Lady Jaye: And parts of me are getting softer every day. I'll keep on rockin, LJ, and you do the same. Cheers LJ!!
You know --all you really needed to say was "I'm Matt-man bitch" and we'd know all we needed to know;-)
To Schmoop--you really do RAWK and I hope you keep adding your two cents or fire your blog back up
TB: If I recall correctly, you are the one who coined that phrase. Thanks!!
She does RAWK, and so do you. Cheers TB!!
Schoop does ROCK - like BIG TIME... Matt-Man...well he just pebbles...
I have had so much fun reading the blogs of some people and listening on the radio shows that I had to get on the blogwagon.
Your posts have made me laugh a lot since I've been reading them.
Bond: And this coming from a man made of silt. Happy Birthday Vinny. Cheers!!
Charlene: Why thank you very much for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. I'll make sure to swing by. Cheers to ya!!
I think I learned a lot through this interview. I'll let you know what it is as soon as I figure it out!
Leighann: Ha. You are such a sarcastic shit...And I love you for it. Cheers!!
You two are funny.....I hope you have fun in real life like you do on here. It's a blessing ya know.
Peace
Odat: I always refer to Ryno as 1 and Schmoop as 1 A. My blessing is that I have a great kid and I get to live with my best friend. Nothing else matters. Cheers!!
Silt is much stronger than pebbles dude...it can move millions of gallons of water...Schmoop would have known that!
And TY for the birthday comment
Pssst Schmoop we will rescue you when the forcefield drops.
Scmoop RAWKS in that leather jacket - she made it HAWT, it's hers now.
I enjoyed the interview - very professional, such journalistic flair.
and I love - "I kid because I love"
Bond: I thought it was just something deposited on the bottome of the river floor...And you're welcome!! Cheers!!
Roger: I always knew you were from outer space. Cheers Raj!!
Dianne: She hates wearing that jacket because it weighs 10,000 lbs. Thanks for the kudos, I like to think of myself as Edward R. Matt-Man. Cheers Di!!
I wanna hear more about your loosemeat. ;)
RLL: Ha. Of course you do. If you are ever in Ohio let know; I'll whip some up for ya. Cheers, Hot Stuff!!
...Schmoop-tacular interview...give the kid the jacket!..
Phfrankie: No way. I will be buried with that jacket. And if Schmoop has her way, it will be sooner rather than later. Cheers!!
Oh Schmoop, honey! You NEVER let them in on that one! And I feel your pain.
Remember School House Rock? The "We The People" song? Try having the same exact sex every single time (and I mean same like Bill Murray in Groundhogs Day) and never making it past providing for the common defense.
Now the ex bf was great and he knew it before I came along (no pun intended, Gutter Matt :P ) so my telling him was beside the point.
Phht....Lost Cause my ass. Matt, not choosing (notice I did NOT say failing) to live up to your potential does not make you a lost cause. It just means you have different priorities. Just cause someone is smart enough to be a rocket scientist does not mean they are obligated to be one.
Starr: Yeah she screwed up on that. She let the Matt Out of the Bag, didn't she?
I have never chosen to not live up to my potential, I simply allowed others to prevent me from doing so.
I started living up to it roughly a year ago. And it will all pay off. Cheers Starr!!
I have found that due to my inability to follow through (i.e., laziness), sometimes opportunities seems to fall into my lap as if by luck.
Does that explain why my next oldest sister accuses me of "living a charmed life?"
Songbird: If we were all that lucky...However, I do think we all make our own luck. Cheers Slacker!!
To a certain degree I did the same thing. I spent my childhood as the perfect A student who was supposed to do grand things. But every decision I ever made was questioned and dissected to the point that I ended up with zero confidence in my own abilities.
Once I got over that I kinda got a bit pissed and that brings us back to the whole "should" issue. I hate being told what to do ;P
Great interview with Schmoop! I love the pic with the jacket...sexy. This loosemeat sounds to die for. Where can I get some?
Starr: Of course you did...After all, and this is not a bad thing in our eyes, but Schmoop and I have both said that you are the female Matt-Man.
I hope that didn't ruin your day. Cheers!!
Apple: She does look hot in that pic. Stop by anytime, I'll cook some up for ya. It's goooood. Cheers Pie!!
Ruin my day?! Hell no, I consider that a big compliment =)
Starr: Well, that's cool, 'cause I would be happy with being considered the male Starr. ; ) Cheers!!
Schmoop gave you quite a build-up. I shall not question the legitimacy of her statements.
Nick: Yes she did...But why not question her? Considering who I think I am, I certainly did. ; ) Cheers Nick!!
I learned a few things. Someone else said it above, but we need more Schmoop.
Karen: More Schmoop...Less Matt. Okay I get it, and it was just plain hurtful. ; ) Cheers Karen!!
There is not one elaborated answer on this interview. I just got real lucky with this guy!! Thanks for all the kind comments. You guys rock!
I knew there was something funny, about this whole Bagwine place.
You've been "dumbing it down"
haven't you?
Schmoop: Why thank ya dear. And they do, don't they? Cheers!!
Micky: I have to keep this place on the level of my readers, don't I? ; ) Cheers Mick!!
Orgasms seem to be hard to achieve these days. o__o
Congrats on the pleasing of schmoop!
Motley: It's a gift. Cheers Motley!!
In my case, absolutely!
Micky: Oh hush, mister. Cheers Mick!!
Schmoop makes me *giggle*. Matty, you seem to have lucked out there! Thanks for putting up with him, Schmoop. Something tells me we'd be missing a certain *spark* without you. ;0)
How is it that guys like us luck into such great women?
Cheers to Schmoop!
Oh, Trav, with MATT it was LUCK. With YOU, I'm sure Pam would say it was DESTINY.
Aw, you guys have a great thing going. That leap from Loosemeat to sex kinda threw me LOL
I made the mistake of telling hub I would've stayed with him just for the sex...he practically high-fived himself.
Nice interview you two! I think Schmoop is what puts the "Man" in our friend Matt. Thanks Schmoop! Its been really nice seeing you visiting here lately. :-)
Hugs,
Kimmie
Boo: She can be quite amusing at times. And yeah, she is part of my spark. Cheers Boo!!
Travis: It is amazing isn't it? Of course, we are both pretty damn great. Cheers Trav!!
Songbird: Pfffffffft. Cheers!!
Jo: Ha. One could very easily incorporate Loosemeat into a sexual outing. And a man who high fives himself, rocks. Cheers Jo!!
Kimmie: She's a peach!! Cheers!!
Cool! Sounds like you guys got a pretty good thing going.
Cheers!
Hammer: Hiya Hammer, yeah it works. Cheers!!
I may regret asking - but what the hell is loosemeat?
Schmoop is awesome - I think we need to hear from her more often.
And just so you know - if I can find the post for which I'm looking, I'm about to link 'ya on my next blog post. ;)
Ok, "for which I'm looking" sounds so dang stuffy - can I change that to "I'm looking for" please?
Who cares about correct grammer? :D
Covert: Loosemeat is a concoctio I make using ground beef. It's awesome.
And yes, while I do know my grammar, on here, I write how most of us speak, so grammar be damned. And thanks for linking if ya find it. Cheers Sexy!!
Yay Schmoop! You were too easy on him though... or maybe he edited out the good parts.
On the other hand, Mat-man, rocket science isn't all that hard. You are going to do way bigger things than that.
Marilyn: Why thanks. And you figure prominentely in Tuesday's post. Cheers!!
I see, maybe you'll have to send me a sampling of this concotion so I can judge for myself the awesomeness.
And I did find it and you're welcome! :)
Covert: Maybe I'll film myself making it soon. I read it, hot stuff, and like I said, "Wet is good". Cheers and thanks again!!
I always like the way you guys seem together...
eight years? in some states you are married....
Kat: We get along pretty damn well. No common law in Ohio. Thank God. Ha. Cheers!!
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