Tuesday, August 05, 2008

The Tuesday Trifecta

I have three items on which to speak about on this fine, humid Tuesday.

First, I am not one who is big on awards, but...


I received one Friday, and for some reason this one inflated my already huge ego struck me as incredibly sweet to the point that I almost blushed while reading it.

The award was bestowed upon me by the incredibly gifted and wonderful Dianne, of Forks Off The Moment.

It is called the “Just Plain Fun to Read” award. (That picture is so me, isn’t it?) Along with it, Dianne wrote the following:

Considering how sweet looking the award is, the recipient is going to laugh his perverted ass off at getting it. I’m giving it to Matt-Man.

Hopefully he’ll still be sober enough to read this. Matt is fun to read - he’s irreverent, shocking, hilarious, quick, smart, sarcastic …

My ONE new revelation about Matt is that he’s brave. Some of what he says can (and has) caused him a bit of grief. Anyone who pushes the envelope while crossing the line risks that.


The Matt-Man has always been kind to me and even when I open one of his posts and say to myself “Oh Baby Jeebus this is SO wrong …” I find myself laughing while I think – and that makes the world go round.

I was utterly flattered and appreciative of her kind words.


Words can make a difference in a person’s life, and those words from Dianne help to make me want to not only continue writing, but become even better at it.

Thanks Dianne, and folks, if you have never read her blog, click on the link in her title above and go see her. You’ll be glad that you did.

Secondly, I was watching Meet the Press Sunday when I heard something extremely disturbing.

John Kerry (D-MA) spoke on behalf of Barack “America Hater” Obama, and Joe Lieberman (J-CT) spoke on behalf of John “In Need of Assisted Living” McCain.

Tom Brokaw made reference to an editorial piece written by Daniel Henniger of the Wall Street Journal that said:

“Is John McCain losing it?

On Sunday, he said on national television that to solve Social Security "everything's on the table," which of course means raising payroll taxes. On July 7 in Denver he said: "Senator Obama will raise your taxes. I won't."

This isn't a flip-flop. It's a sex-change operation.”


When Brokaw asked Jumpin’ Joe Lieberman about this, Lieberman replied:

“First, let me say that John remains all male. There's no question about that. Secondly, he, he's, he's as smart, curious and intellectually alert as possible.”

Sure, McCain is as alert as possible…for someone who grew up in the days of three cent loaves of bread, but what disturbs me is, how the hell does Joe know that, without a doubt, McCain remains, all male?

Are these two involved in some sort of perverted, homosexual Jew/Gentile, fluid swapping, fill-his-buster?

Did McCain overpower Joe’s sexual desires with his overtly powerful Shiksa-peal?


Does their foreplay involve nasty, shaft stiffening talk about bombing Iran?

Does Johnny Mac look lovingly into Lieberman's eyes and say, "Oh Joey...You put the "He" in Hebrew. You make me feel young again."?

As much as I don’t want to know the details, I will try to seek out these answers for you, my friends.

The last thing on today’s agenda? A visit from one of my brothers…Marte’.

He stopped by the Bagwine digs Sunday afternoon for a couple of beers. He is proof positive that a quick-wit runs in our family.

Schmoop was mentioning to Marte’ that believe it or not, her and I have been together roughly seven years.

To which, without skipping a beat, he retorted, “Damn Matt, what did you do, break a mirror?”

Bada Bing, and Ha!! Very funny my brother.

Have a great Tuesday all, and of course…


Cheers!!

42 comments:

Jay said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jay said...

While it's true that a John McCain/Joe Lieberman sex tape would completely destroy McCain's campaign, it would also destroy my eyesight, as well as my will to live, if I ever caught even a glimpse of it. So, let's hope that baby doesn't exist.

Schmoop said...

Jay: You said, "baby". Do they have a baby together? What will Cindy say? Holy Crap, your comment has only added more questions to be answered. Cheers Jay!!

katherine. said...

fill-his-buster....laughing.

as for the seven years....hope schmoop doens't get the itch....

Schmoop said...

Kat: Ha. Any itch that she has, I will scratch with my tongue. Cheers Kat!!

Lex Valentine said...

Humor runs in your family! You, your brother, your kid... you all elicit laughter and snorts from your readers with your wit. Ahhh, good times!

Lu' said...

I believe there is a video, Poke Meshack Mountain. The Production company of PillarOsalt released it to mixed reviews. Richard Simmons gave it 1-1/2 forks.

What, did you have a headlight for a flash on that camera, Marte' looks like he got caught in it.

You've got to respect the, doesn't miss a beat, quick comeback. I find it difficult to pass those up. Right on Marte'.

Schmoop said...

Winter: Everyone in my family is pretty damn funny at times and that's all nine kids (eight now), and mom and dad were as well. Cheers!!

Lu: Ha. Gay Jewis Porn...Ew. Party Marty is a funny, albeit caught in the headlights kinda guy. Cheers Lu!!

Anonymous said...

Damn the good looks just keep on running in your family. Methinks a trip to Bagwine is in order ;-)

Schmoop said...

Lady Jaye: Anytime LJ. The door is always open for you. Cheers!!

Jeni said...

I came by here the other day, on directions from Dianne at Forks in the Moment and immediately added your blog to my reader. Very funny stuff! Fortunately, my regular blog subscriptions on my Reader seem to be working ok -well, your blog showed up today as having been updated. Unfortunately, I can't say the same with how Reader is handling my blog as it says it hasn't been updated since Thursday, July 31st and I've had several posts put up since then. Ah the joys of dealing with Google, Blogger, etc. etc., etc.!

Crazy Charlene said...

matt as one who finds humor in everything i need your help i need some advice about some problems that i don't know what to do to come to some kind of solution,
please give me your thoughts on what it the right thing to do with these problems~~i am asking from help from blogastain readers~~the readers i know and others who may have been in similiar situations~~this is a combination of several problems and maybe bloggers have encountered a similair problem to the many that i have.
i have been trying to figure out what is the best and right thing to do for months and i just don't know what to do
so i am appealing to bloggers to give me their thoughts
thank you for any thoughts, suggestions, advice and humour that you can enlighten me with
the post link is here
http://charlene-in-ar.blogspot.com/2008/08/i-need-blogastains-advice-on-what-to-do.html

Schmoop said...

Jeni: I know and I appreciate that. Today is my catch up with everyone day so I shall be by. Cheers Jeni!!

Char: I tried to stop by earlier but my computer had indigestion of sorts. I think it's all better now, so I'll be by soonly. Cheers Char!!

Dana said...

ACK!! The McLieberman tapes! Please say it isn't so!

Odat said...

I wonder if he's saving the suit with the stains on it!

Congrats on your well deserved award...it is cute!!!!

Peace

Schmoop said...

Dana: If I believe it, it's not a lie. Cheers Dana!!

Odat: Ha. It is cute, isn't it. In keeping with the Jewish Lewinsky tradition, I bet Joe wears a blue dress when they hook up. Cheers!!

Dianne said...

If I lived closer or had money to travel I'd deliver an award in person! Oh yeah!!

I've been trying to figure out Lieberman - for a nano second - and have come to the conclusion that the Republicans inserted some sort of talking points device in his head. Perhaps Johnny Mac inserted it personally.

And now the device has gone awry - which would explain the sound of Joey's voice.

Dianne said...

I once again suffered from pre-mature publish clicking!

Marte is adorable

Phfrankie Bondo said...

sex, lies and three-cent bread...

Schmoop said...

Dianne: Oooo Baby, and that would be nice.

No one will say it but Joe is in McCain's pocket because Johnny Mac will defend at all costs, Joey's precious, economy draining State of Israel.

And I'm tellin ya, maybe not a brain chip, but Johnny has inserted something into Joe!!

Marty-Boy is a good egg. Cheers and Thanks Again, Di!!

Schmoop said...

Phfrankie: Ha. I feel a sultry, geriatric, political thriller screenplay coming on. Cheers P-Man!!

Real Live Lesbian said...

Damnation your brother's funny. Must run in the family! ;)

Schmoop said...

RLL: He is quite the amusing man. Cheers Lovely One!!

Liz Hill said...

The REAL scandal will be the threeway with Dick Cheney. I hear Ann Coulter pleasures herself watching it.

Schmoop said...

TB: That is "throw-up" material. And I'll bet Larry Craig would get more than moist watching the three-way as well. Cheers!!

Knight said...

Dianne is the best. She has a talent for describing people perfectly. I mean, she got pervert in the first line!
I, for one, am comfortable with the idea that Joe is putting the brew in He-brew. A little work out might be good for McCain's elderly colon.
Did I go too far?

Schmoop said...

Knight: Pervert, eh? Ha, very good. Unless, you kill somebody, you can never go too far. Here's to Johnny Mac's colon. Cheers Knight!!

Schmoop said...

Cheesy: That wouldn't happen. As much as Schmoop tried not to, she laughed. Thanks and Cheers!!

Knight said...

Pervert in the coolest most appreciated way possible!

ambergail77 said...

Congrats on your award. The picture is so 'you'.

Your brother is quite the funny man too. It is obvious that your lack of concern for who you may offend is genetic. It is lucky for you both that Schmoopp is a good sport.

Schmoop said...

Knight: Ha. Of Course. Cheers Cutie!!

Amber: Ha. Yeah, well our offensiveness is nothing but good natured. And Schmoop is a great sport. Cheers Amber!!

Tiggerlane said...

Hysterical comment from the bro! And I think I understand now why John McCain was so uncomfortable holding the Dalai Lama's hand last week - he was afraid Joe would accuse him of having an affair.

Schmoop said...

Tigger: Ha. Good one on the Dalai Lama comment. Purrrrrfect. Cheers Sexy One!!

Cinnamon Girl said...

Lieberman has a funky mouth. Not a purdy one, a funky one. It looks vaguely duck bill like.

Like you I want to know how he knows McCain is all there but more importantly WHY he felt the need to share that?!

Ed & Jeanne said...

Fill-his-buster. You are just the best! bwahahaha. Now stop being funnier than me with stuff like that!

Schmoop said...

Starr: It is a bit funky. And maybe Joe wants everyone to know that he is scoring. Cheers Starr!!

VE: I don't if that is possible, funny man. Cheers!!

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

All I can say after reading the McCain/Lieberman info is KISS ME YOU STUD AND LET'S MAKE THE WORLD SPIN AROUND US

CreativeMish said...

The first thing that came to my mind when I seen that award was "OMG! that looks just like matt-man!! Such a perfect Angel and reading the good book!

McCain is really clenching his jaw. It's quite a task holding back from laying a big one on the other guy! LOL! Are you sure thats a picture of your brother? Beer? Where is the red stuff?? haven't you gotten him trained yet?

Schmoop said...

Bond: Ha. That was pretty good, Vin. Cheers!!

Michelle: Ha. It is a fine representation of me. I am the only one of the nine kids who got the Wild Irish Rose gene...go figure. Cheers Michelle!!

CreativeMish said...

9 kids!? That explains alot!!

Schmoop said...

Michelle: Ha...And they saved the best for last. ; ) Cheers!!

Angell said...

ROTFLMAO - I don't follow politics much, but if you were going to mediate a presidential debate, you can bet your assets I'd be tuning in.

Congrats on the fun read award!! Can't think of anyone who deserves it more.