Sunday Morning Church Disservice: There's A Tight Ass Loose on Twitter

It’s going to be a cool, breezy Sabbath in Bagwine, Ohio today.

I will have to wear extra clothes for my 11-7 stint at the Beer Mine today which has one major implication…

If some chick comes through the Mine and wants to get hot with me in the beer cooler, it will take me much longer to strip down and get naked.

So be it. I will build that into my schedule.

Nothing much to report today although I can report that when I arrived home from work last night, I was met with some disturbing news courtesy of Schmoop.

After I came home, popped a beer and shed my pants, Schmoop said unto me…

“I’m back on Twitter. I’m twittering again. I even talked to Dana.”

My joyous response to that announcement..?

“Great. Now I have to cloak my burning, yearning, lust for all the hot babes when I tweet.”

We both chuckled, mainly because we both know that that won’t deter me from hitting on every chick I come across even with Schmoop back in the human stew that is Twitter.

Actually, I am glad she is back. Schmoop needs a hobby…a hobby which doesn’t interfere with her drinking.

Schmoop…plus Drinking…plus Twitter, equals Internets Magic!!

Schmoop did temper the shock of her renewed foray into Twitter by modeling her new uber-soft underwear for me…


Uh-huh…even after 44 years of use and abuse, that is still a nice looking ass. And for those of you with an attention to detail, be informed...

I used Bleu Cheese dressing last night when I tossed her salad.

Also sports fans, Jay and I put another award winning Blog Talk Radio installment of I’m With Stupid into the can on Friday night.

Our Blogger of the Week guest was the incredibly sexy Dianne of Forks Off The Moment, and she was a fantastic guest.

Although she tried to explain it, I still don’t understand the meaning of her blog title. Of course…

Instead of taking my two hour pre-show nap Friday evening I continued to drink so that may have a bearing on my lack of understanding.

Anyhoo, I thank Dianne for appearing and give a big ol’ shout out to all of the incredibly funny people who chimed in on the phone lines.

If you would like to listen to Friday’s show you can do so right c’here:

Amen and Amen…

Have a wonderful rest of the weekend y’all. I’m off to work and then to go see my Ryno.

Cheers!!

I'm With Stupid: Social Networking...Social Media...Social Diseases

It’s Friiiiiiiiday so you know what that means…That’s Right!!

Time for another shameless promotion for tonight’s I’m With Stupid radio show on Blog Talk Radio at 11 PM EST.

Tonight, Jay and I will be discussing the negatives, positives, and the why we all do-it-tives of social networking.

Facebook, Blogger, Twitter will all be vilified and lionized, and we need you to help us out.

Listen to our show and call in with your perspective as to why you use these social engines of the internets and what you like about them and what you don’t.

Also, Jay and I have cooked up some funny Great Moments in Social Networking History spots.

We will have our newly redesigned, yet still unfunny football pick of the week, and…hold on to your britches, bitches…

Tonight’s show will include our maiden venture into the waters of our I’m With Stupid Blogger of the Week.

Jay and I will be interviewing everyone’s favorite Half-Jewish, Half-Shiksa East Coast Liberal, the uber-hot Dianne!!

That’s right. Dianne is the author and proprietor of the website, Forks Off the Moment and tonight on I’m with Stupid at 11 PM EST, Jay and I will be interviewing her.

We will ask her why she blogs…what she blogs about…and most importantly, ask her if she prefers to be on top or bottom when she gets her freak on.

In addition to all of that, we hope as always that Dour Mike and Mrs. Dour Mike call in with an update on their over-the-top lifestyle.

Whoaaaa Nellie…It’s going to be wacky on I’m with Stupid tonight, you chuckleheads, so…

Listen in and call in at 661.244.9852 tonight at 11 PM EST.

To get hooked up with us and our very special guest you can go to our radio show page by clicking

HERE

Hope to see you tonight on the radio, and until then…

Cheers!!

The Tuesday Trifecta

I have three items on which to speak about on this fine, humid Tuesday.

First, I am not one who is big on awards, but...

I received one Friday, and for some reason this one inflated my already huge ego struck me as incredibly sweet to the point that I almost blushed while reading it.

The award was bestowed upon me by the incredibly gifted and wonderful Dianne, of Forks Off The Moment.

It is called the “Just Plain Fun to Read” award. (That picture is so me, isn’t it?) Along with it, Dianne wrote the following:

Considering how sweet looking the award is, the recipient is going to laugh his perverted ass off at getting it. I’m giving it to Matt-Man.

Hopefully he’ll still be sober enough to read this. Matt is fun to read - he’s irreverent, shocking, hilarious, quick, smart, sarcastic …

My ONE new revelation about Matt is that he’s brave. Some of what he says can (and has) caused him a bit of grief. Anyone who pushes the envelope while crossing the line risks that.

The Matt-Man has always been kind to me and even when I open one of his posts and say to myself “Oh Baby Jeebus this is SO wrong …” I find myself laughing while I think – and that makes the world go round.

I was utterly flattered and appreciative of her kind words.

Words can make a difference in a person’s life, and those words from Dianne help to make me want to not only continue writing, but become even better at it.

Thanks Dianne, and folks, if you have never read her blog, click on the link in her title above and go see her. You’ll be glad that you did.

Secondly, I was watching Meet the Press Sunday when I heard something extremely disturbing.

John Kerry (D-MA) spoke on behalf of Barack “America Hater” Obama, and Joe Lieberman (J-CT) spoke on behalf of John “In Need of Assisted Living” McCain.

Tom Brokaw made reference to an editorial piece written by Daniel Henniger of the Wall Street Journal that said:

“Is John McCain losing it?

On Sunday, he said on national television that to solve Social Security "everything's on the table," which of course means raising payroll taxes. On July 7 in Denver he said: "Senator Obama will raise your taxes. I won't."

This isn't a flip-flop. It's a sex-change operation.”

When Brokaw asked Jumpin’ Joe Lieberman about this, Lieberman replied:

“First, let me say that John remains all male. There's no question about that. Secondly, he, he's, he's as smart, curious and intellectually alert as possible.”

Sure, McCain is as alert as possible…for someone who grew up in the days of three cent loaves of bread, but what disturbs me is, how the hell does Joe know that, without a doubt, McCain remains, all male?

Are these two involved in some sort of perverted, homosexual Jew/Gentile, fluid swapping, fill-his-buster?

Did McCain overpower Joe’s sexual desires with his overtly powerful Shiksa-peal?

Does their foreplay involve nasty, shaft stiffening talk about bombing Iran?

Does Johnny Mac look lovingly into Lieberman's eyes and say, "Oh Joey...You put the "He" in Hebrew. You make me feel young again."?

As much as I don’t want to know the details, I will try to seek out these answers for you, my friends.

The last thing on today’s agenda? A visit from one of my brothers…Marte’.

He stopped by the Bagwine digs Sunday afternoon for a couple of beers. He is proof positive that a quick-wit runs in our family.

Schmoop was mentioning to Marte’ that believe it or not, her and I have been together roughly seven years.

To which, without skipping a beat, he retorted, “Damn Matt, what did you do, break a mirror?”

Bada Bing, and Ha!! Very funny my brother.

Have a great Tuesday all, and of course…

Cheers!!

Half Nekkid Thursday: Bon Apetit

Dianne of Forks Off the Moment, requested awhile back that I do a HNT in the Bagwine Kitchen.

Well, Here it is...

You may ask yourself, "Is that a turkey baster in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?"

Of course I am happy to see you, but yes, it was a baster!!

Sometimes, it gets too HOT in kitchen and I have to step out for a minute...

This is Mr. Happy Hand. Him and I have not only shared cooking great food together, we have spent many a lonely, horny night together.

Say Goodbye, Mr. Happy Hand!!

Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday to all!!

I was going to talk about my upcoming camping trip with a famous person tomorrow, but I have changed my mind.

Tomorrow I will be settling this gay marriage issue once and for all.

I have a can't miss solution. So I hope you stop back by on Friday.

Cheers!!