I am so very exhausted from the hate filled attacks that I have written over the last couple of days.I have spewed venom of late and it was quickly returned to me ten-fold. You guys are wicked.
Some of the emails I have received were less than kind, which is fine, but really, why ask me to stuff things up my ass that obviously won’t fit?
Anyhoo, instead of trying to write something, I let my mind wander as I watched the Republican National Convention last might.
I turned it on as Rudy Giuliani assumed the stage, and let my stream of consciousness flow…
Wow, Rudy isn’t very tall…I’ve heard he is 5’10”. I don’t think so. He’s about 5’6” in my estimation. Typical sufferer of short man syndrome. He’s a prick, and his head is HUGE.
And what’s this shit that he is, “America’s Mayor”? He showed up for work on 9/11, and he becomes some sort of hero? WTF?
He’s a self-absorbed midget who collects bitchy wives in order to validate
his existence.
His current wife is smiling right now…She’s a princess, isn’t she? Wow, I bet she is one High-Maintenance Bitch.
Oooo, they showed Bristol and her older brother.
his existence.
His current wife is smiling right now…She’s a princess, isn’t she? Wow, I bet she is one High-Maintenance Bitch.
Oooo, they showed Bristol and her older brother.
Y’know…If I was running the McCain campaign I would induce a miscarriage in Bristol. Can you imagine the sympathy vote possibilities?
Oh wait, they just showed one of my Senators, George Voinivich.
I can tell that he needs a nap. Sleep well, V-Man.
Anyway, on top of the miscarriage, have the grief stricken 18 year old, dad-to-be baby-maker, Levi Johnston, kill himself. Teen angst plays well in the more liberal parts of Ohio!!
Sen. Mitch McConnell looks like a bird. What a goofball. Ha. They just showed McCain’s 96 year old mom. She looks younger than Johnny Mac!!
Gov. Palin is walking to the podium. Cue the bawdy music. They just showed Bristol’s boyfriend.
Hockey Stick Boy is staring at Gov. Palin. I don’t think he’s looking at her in a, “That’s my future Mother-in-Law” way, he is looking at her in a, “I want to tap you next” way. You go Boy!!
Wow, Huckabee’s wife is kinda homely…I wonder what kind of food the vendors are serving in the arena. I could go for a corn dog. Mmmmmmm, Corn Dogs.
Well this speech shows that Palin can do one thing that our current Prez can’t do…read a teleprompter. I find the speech itself to be kind of boring.
It’s not Palin’s fault, she didn’t write it. None of these focus-group driven candidates write their own speeches anymore. What a shame.
I expected more from Charlie Black, Rick Davis, and the Sully-Man in writing this speech. Pussies…Mmmmmm, I wonder if Schmoop will wake up anytime soon.
Hey Olbermann…shut the fuck up you biased, ego-centric, bastard. You Suck.
Oh wait, they just showed one of my Senators, George Voinivich.
I can tell that he needs a nap. Sleep well, V-Man.
Anyway, on top of the miscarriage, have the grief stricken 18 year old, dad-to-be baby-maker, Levi Johnston, kill himself. Teen angst plays well in the more liberal parts of Ohio!!
Sen. Mitch McConnell looks like a bird. What a goofball. Ha. They just showed McCain’s 96 year old mom. She looks younger than Johnny Mac!!
Gov. Palin is walking to the podium. Cue the bawdy music. They just showed Bristol’s boyfriend.
Hockey Stick Boy is staring at Gov. Palin. I don’t think he’s looking at her in a, “That’s my future Mother-in-Law” way, he is looking at her in a, “I want to tap you next” way. You go Boy!!
Wow, Huckabee’s wife is kinda homely…I wonder what kind of food the vendors are serving in the arena. I could go for a corn dog. Mmmmmmm, Corn Dogs.
Well this speech shows that Palin can do one thing that our current Prez can’t do…read a teleprompter. I find the speech itself to be kind of boring.
It’s not Palin’s fault, she didn’t write it. None of these focus-group driven candidates write their own speeches anymore. What a shame.
I expected more from Charlie Black, Rick Davis, and the Sully-Man in writing this speech. Pussies…Mmmmmm, I wonder if Schmoop will wake up anytime soon.
Hey Olbermann…shut the fuck up you biased, ego-centric, bastard. You Suck.
Although you are still funny once in awhile, you are as non-thinking on the left, as Sean Hannity is on the right.
I need another drink. Oh dear god, the pundits have taken over. I hate them all. The only I seem to like anymore is Joe Scarborough.
And he’s a conservative…Fuck it, Joe is funny nonetheless. Hell, I like Pat Buchanan a lot.
I rarely agree with either of them…but I like how they speak their minds without worrying about what others think.
Hmmm, that kinda reminds me of myself. Hey Rachel Maddow, join Olbermann in the “Shut-Up Corner”.
Okay that’s it. I am off for three straight days…You talking heads can’t bring me down; it’s party time.
Cheers!!
I need another drink. Oh dear god, the pundits have taken over. I hate them all. The only I seem to like anymore is Joe Scarborough.
And he’s a conservative…Fuck it, Joe is funny nonetheless. Hell, I like Pat Buchanan a lot.
I rarely agree with either of them…but I like how they speak their minds without worrying about what others think.
Hmmm, that kinda reminds me of myself. Hey Rachel Maddow, join Olbermann in the “Shut-Up Corner”.
Okay that’s it. I am off for three straight days…You talking heads can’t bring me down; it’s party time.
Cheers!!
56 comments:
I still haven't seen a good ass shot of Palin but I'm biden my time.
Have you seen Palin in the tit shirt yet? That's choice :P
As for your emails, fuck em if they can't take a joke. Or is it choke them if they can't take a fuck?
So confused....so confused!
"biden my time"
"choke'em if they can't take a fuck"
I love these people.
and you too mateo
(ignore the chicken shits who can't speak in the open....)
I love you - a bi-partisan stream soaker.
Wait...does that mean you can piss in two directions at once?
sounds like a prince albert gone wrong...
Keith's eyebrows scare me. It's no wonder I prefer Wolf Blitzer's bulging eyes and Anderson Cooper's snarky sexy sneer.
Hammer: You're right. There was almost a good shot of it yesterday morning during her walk around but it didn't quite happen. Cheers!!
Starr: Tit Shirt? No, I haven't dammit. Yeah, the non-joke people are odd but a source of amusement.
Kat: You guys are the best. I try to ignore them but there is so much fun to be made of them. It's hard. Cheers!!
I'm glad to see that you have put the hate filled attacks on hold. Too bad your "stream" didn't get the memo, HA! I am also glad you filled me in that they were hate filled attacks, I thought they were satire :)
Songbird: Yes I can. I am Bi-Pissual. Cheers to ya!!
Kat: Ha. Good One. The funny comments may abound today. Cheers!!
Winter: Cooper is pretty good, but Blitzer makes my skin crawl. Cheers!!
Lu: See? Even my calling them hate filled attacks was satirical. Holy Crap, such a vicious circle. Or is that satirical circle?
However, you nearly exposing me as being satirical may damage my "rep" as a mean, hate-filled mad-man. Damn. Cheers, Lu!!
LOL! I was living in NYC under Mr. G. I totally agree, he showed up for work. That's it. Funny how every New Yorker hated him up until then.
I think it's going to take a little more than my comment to damage that rep :)
Three days off, what will you do...
Cresta: Coming from someone with first hand experience I appreciate your comment. Thanks for stopping by Cresta. Cheers!!
Evil: Well that's good because your neighbors are probable slackers and need to be woken up. Cheers Evil!!
Lu: Um...drink. Oh and later today, Schmoop's brother is coming over to drink with us and shave my head. Livin' on the edge, Lu, livin' on the edge. Cheers!!
Thanks for the recap of last night. I made it till Mit had that shining moment when he ..shut up!
Micky: Ha. That's when he's at his best. Cheers Mick!!
Bye the way, super hot pic of Sarah at Whites Creek [it's at the bottom of my blogroll]
Micky: 10-4, I'll check it out. Cheers!!
Anybody really mad at you hasn't been reading long enough to realize that no special interest group is safe. They'll get over it or go away.
I'm sorry I've been absent so much. I'll try to make it by more often. Since I don't have TV, I don't get to watch the convention stuff and I need your commentary to fill me in on the important details that don't make it to NPR.
Marilyn: Well, thank ya. And don't you dare apologize to me, silly woman.
And I'll promise to keep you informed if once in a while you stop by and drop off one your incredibly wry, dry, and humorous comments from time to time. Cheers Marilyn!!
*Sigh* You have a knack for getting me to crave corndogs. I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with your post.
Hate mail? People are so dumb. I really admire the people that speak up and put themselves out there for your readers to see. If I agree or not I'm impressed with the debates. A personal e-mail attack is just silly. I bet it gives you a good laugh though.
Knight: Let's get together and have a Corn Dog Party. They go great with WIR.
If I'm not getting hate mail, I'm not doing my job. And yeah, it does make me chortle, chuckle, and guffaw. Cheers!!
I blame the Republican convention for the issues I've been having with "the works" for the last three days.
Oh, I read the last few posts and I thought you were holding back.
So where do pundits fit on your scale with respect to community organizers, you know, the scum of the earth hapless bumbling idjits that they are.
Anndi: Holding Back? That's why I like you.
Pundits are much higher on the scale than Community Organizers.
I mean how can one respect anyone who spends time finding work for people, organizing day care facilites, filling food banks, working with families on their mortgages and such.
Such a waste. Cheers Anndi!!
It doesn't count if you aren't getting hate mail!
I can't believe you didn't mention the work that went in to cleaning Levi up - they even lopped off his hockey mullet!
Oh, and Matt-Man, there is only room in this world for one goofball. I'm afraid Mitch McConnell will have to be stripped (YIKES! Bad visual) of the title!
Yeah let's not forget that Community Organizing is the grass roots citizen level involvement in the political system. Talk about elistism!
I LOATHE....L O A T H E....Wolf Blitzer. Anderson Cooper I like and he is snarky sexy but I am pretty sure he ain't pitching for my team.
Dana: Damn Straight it doesn't. Yeah they cleaned him up; he's not as edgy sexy to ya now, is he?
Oh Hell, I will strip him of that title. Whatt the hell was I thinking? A thousand pardons. Cheers Dana!!
Starr: Totally agree with you on your elitism arguement. And Blitzer IS indeed one of the most over-emoting, empty, "journalists" I have ever seen. Cheers!!
...ahhh..the dogs of corn......
Phfrankie: Mmmmmmm. A little mustard. Yum-Oh!! Cheers!!
She is a very dangerous woman...she can almost make you believe her when she states "Special needs families will have a friend in Washington if I am elected"...yeah, some friend...she cut the budget for special needs families and did not fund a home for teen moms while GovenEr ...where will Bristol sleep now?
I used to kinda like Rudy...last night was a freakin joke...the picture of NY in the back...which in close-ups looked like oil polluted water...
Those people last night reminded me of rallys held in Germany in the 30's - with their chants "Drill Now Drill Now Drill now"
Drill this a**hats
Oh, that would make a great video: Things to Big To Stick Up My Ass.
That Keith-guy has, like, almost invisible glasses (and he DOES have creepy eyebrows...)
Corndogs? Nah... Nachos!! Now we're talkin' MY kind of Convention!
I had a totally different comment to make until I read Desert Rat's. The GUFFAW made me lose my train of thought.
Oh, and that should be "Too Big" not "To Big." I'm still tired!
Bond: I can't stand Rudy. Never Could.
And yeah, I thought the "special needs" quote by Palin was kind of creepy, solicitous, and something even I wouldn't do. Cheers!!
Desert Rat: Ha. That would be a good videopost. You are a freakin' genius. And please, never correct your spelling or grammar on this site...It makes mine look even worse. Cheers Rat!!
TB: Rat's idea was funny but you lost your train of thought over that? Sheesh. I love you, but remind me never to hire you as my attorney. Cheers!!
I also thought the special needs comment was bizarre. It sort of came out of nowhere. And it irritates me that she would use the baby to get votes from the Special Needs families.
However, I did enjoy most of her speech.
That dudes eyebrows look like 2 caterpillers crawled up on his face and died.
Apple: It was quite the pandering moment even for a politician. On the upside, if elected, she can put her special needs advocacy to use by standing up for John McCain. Cheers!1
I've missed the past couple of days matt-man, sorry!! trying to work and walk at the same time is proving to be too much for me and my torn tendons! Although I am still far quicker and more productive that anyone at the conventions.
I lived with Rudy too. Fucking piece of hypocritical shit. He didn't let the FDNY get the communication system they needed and that contributed big time to 344 dead on 9/11 - you can't get out if you can't fucking hear!!
After the first WTC attack he was told to put all the emergency service HQs in Brooklyn. He put them into the towers. stubborn piece of cheating, lying shit. I could go on and on and on - police out of control, running homeless out of mid-town for Disney and then cutting their programs, forbiding press access to City Hall if they wrote negative pieces.
And then he mocks Obama's community work!!
Fucking piece of garbage. Drop dead Rudy. We saw him at ground zero a million times - my son worked rescue and I volunteered - he'd show up, take off his mask for the cameras and then disappear. There were FDNY guys who would put his picture down on the ground and piss on it.
Wow that felt good. Better than physical therapy. Thanks Matt.
Oh and anyone who wants to e-mail me it's hihidi07@aol.com
I'm already getting crap because of my own posts and because of comments I've made on other blogs.
Feel free MFers - I support your American freedom to be the ignorant bigoted sacks of shit you are!
Dianne: I heard all of that about Rudy. I just said he showed up for work; I didn't say he did anything of consequence.
As far as the rest of your comment, the hate mail, and your closing line...All I can say is:
Ha. I loooooove you!! Cheers Di!!
I love you, Dianne!!
I love youse guys too! (insert big kisses with tongue)
Oooh...Menage a Bagwine!
Dianne... I shall build a shrine to you.
"if elected, she can put her special needs advocacy to use by standing up for John McCain"
Matt, I sent you an e-mail with a little something in it I think you'll appreciate.
Starr and Anndi: How about the three of us just jump on Dianne right now? I have dibs on the tongue. Cheers!!
Anndi: Just walked in the door...I shall seek it out. And Thanks!! Cheers!!
Wait I thought you *were* The Tongue!
Starr: Ha. I am known as that in these here parts. I guess I just want to experience others.
Actually, I just didn't call dibs on any of Di's other body parts because I didn't want to appear rude and boorish. Cheers!!
If you want to experience others we could certainly arrange something.
Anndi: Woo Hoo, and we could promote American-Canadian relations at the same time. We are selfless. Cheers!!
I'm glad I came back. I want to honor the Dianne shrine!
Knight: Hop on board the Dianne Shrine. I'm the conductor...so, well, hop on the conductor. Please? Cheers!!
You are all cracking me up.
Mimi: Hiya, you nut. I hope things are going well in the dungeon. Cheers Mimi!!
All I am going to say is that Guiliani is really about 5'10 - 5'11". I have stood next to him and we were about the same height.
Damn, am I too late for a little of that tongue action?
I caught a little of McNuke em's speech tonight. All I could think of is "I'll bet Matt is pissing himself right about now."
You know, the only good thing about him winning the election would be the amount of blog fodder you'd have for the next four years.
ha...I was fascinating about you during johnnie mac's speech as well!
I'd far rather see YOU partnered with sarah... smile.
Schmoop: I was you last night. What?
Karen: Really? Huh. Oh well, I'm still taller. Cheers Karen!!
Jeff: I actually missed the speech. I think. I'll explain today. Cheers!!
Kat: Why thanks. I'd enjoy "partnering" with her at leats once. Cheers Kat!!
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