While plying myself with alcohol, I am going to bite the bullet and clean my closet out. Yeah I know, I'm a rebel...living on the edge.
After losing alot of weight, I have a ton of clothes that simply do not fit any longer. I am going to box and bag them up and take them to Goodwill.
Let me show you the mess that confronts me...
Here's the rack. Nice rack, eh? See that Black and White checked coat. A Matt-Man Classic.
Here's a picture that shows all of the ill-fitting clothes lying upon the floor. SEIU shirts, Hawaiian shirts, some fit...most do not.
The shelf...Not too bad. Mostly summer clothes. They are mainly shorts and sleeveless shirts that show off my sexy legs and my non-existent HUGE biceps.
Here we have...What the? How the Hell did this picture get in here? Holy Crap!!
Oh my, have I ever mentioned that Schmoop has more than a bit of an overbite? Quite the "scraper" is our dear, dear Schmoop.
After all of my hard cleaning of the closet (and the sheets), I am going to relax with some more Rose, some beer, and this...
Damn straight...I am cooking bacon tonight. Mmmmmmm Bacon!! I have no idea what Schmoop is going to eat.
Perhaps, another serving of Matt-Zo Balls!!
Enjoy your Thursday, all.
Cheers!!
45 comments:
are those a pair of Richard Simmons workout shorts?
niiiice.
(btw...it would be some sort of contract violation to get rid of your SEIU apparel)
Quick!! Get out of the closet before it consumes you! And thank goodness I reminded you to trim those nose hairs!
Did you already get rid of the 1970's leisure suits or are they just hidden in that mess?
My closet and yours look so much alike, I think they're related. The only thing I don't have are ginormous bras for my huge non-existent boobies.
Happy cleaning, Matt, and happy bacon-eating.
Kat: Thaye aren't just any pair of Richard Simmons Work Out shorts, they are HIS work out shorts. I will never part with well earned SEIU garb. Cheers Kat!!
Dana: I fear no closet but my cat will be pissed she hides in there. Your advice is always timeless and priceless. Cheers Sexy!!
Jay: You speak as though as there is something bad about, Room 222-era leisure suits. Why do you hate? Cheers!!
Lizza: Hiya Hot Stuff!! Hope you and your boobies are well. It will be a formidable task, but I shall defeat the closet. Cheers Lizza!!
loved the surprise ending. ha.
Vodka: Yeah, I'm just full of surprises, and in the thoughts of many people, full of shit as well. Cheers VM!!
Mmmmmm Bacon. I seriously think you have more clothing than I do. I'm not quite sure how I feel about that. Especially since you're getting rid of most of it.
Lady Jaye: Ha. You make me laugh. I can always send them to you. You'd look hot in a couple of my Hawaiian shirts. Cheers LJ!!
Consider a consignment clothier and get some money for those clothes. I once got a check for $90 from the place I where I take my, no longer wearing, clothes.
Lu: I have to improve my Karma so I'll just give them away. Of course, considering the look of some of these clothes it might adversely affect my Karma. Cheers Lu!!
Does schmoop drink Manischewitz Wine with her matt-zo?? Shalom!
Cheesy: If only that were the case. Currently she drinks the blood of a goat that has been blessed by a Rabbi. It's kinda disturbing. Cheers Cheesy!!
What? No sausage for Schmoop? Tell her to call me! I'll fix her right up if all you're offering is Matt-zo balls!
RLL: Of course there is, however we refer to it as a Knish during the times when we do Hebrew sex. And baby, do I supply more than a schtickle of herb butter when the knish pops. Cheers!!
...you said "hard cleaning"....
Phfrankie: Of course I did, and thank you picking up on that. Cheers P-Man!!
After all the plying with alcohol, I'm wondering how hard you can actually get. Hard cleaning, that is.
You know, I'm udderly disappointed that you've not tipped your C.O.W. lately, btw.
clothes, scrapping and bacon...
a Matt-man classic post...
Hardwood Smoked.....mmmmmmm
"You Can Trust You'll Love It"
Save your clothes, cut them into tiny little rags, you won't have to waste energy washing your sheets as much.
I had a paisley shirt.....when I was 14.
Packages of pork and Matt-zo balls on the day of fasting? What a gentile.
Damn, that closet looks like an explosion in a pillow factory! We might actually know where Hoffa is buried now.
Songbird: I am half way done. As for the COW, I gave it up. It never directed traffic to other sites. Which was my intention. Cheers!!
Bond: Any post that mentions the greasy, goodness of bacon is a classic. Cheers!!
Micky: Are you making fun paisley? That was very hurtful. Good luck with that surgery tomorrow...No, seriously. Cheers Mick!!
Knight: Ha...I wasn't even trying to be funny or ironic. I forgot that today was Yom Kippur. Oh well, they can crucify me like they did Christ if they're offended. Cheers!!
Jeff: No Hoffa, but they're may be a Jehova's Witness or two. Cheers Jeff!!
Is Corky in there somewhere?
The Jew in me needs to remind you - Matt-Zo balls must be rolled lightly and tenderly to properly bring out their flavor.
Dianne: I'll remind her of that. She can be rough at times when we play Joshua and the Slavemaster. Cheers Di!!
Will you show us the closet all cleaned out?
Ummm, if you have time can you send me that black bean burger recipe?
marilynzelha@yahoo.com
Marilyn: I will have pictures and you will have the recipe before day's end, my friend. Oh, how I love to rhyme. Cheers Pal!!
Wow! When you're done will you come do me...I mean mine?
I like the red & white stripped shirt. Is that your "sailor" outfit?
Apple: I'd be happy to do your's ANYTIME. A sailor shirt look? I'd never thought of it that way, but anchors aweigh, baby!! Cheers Apple!!
Holy crap! If my closet looked like that, I'd be drinking Rose too! ;)
You gonna be spinnin Marshall Mathers Cleaning Out My Closet for this momentous occasion?
I was a shop steward and the cheap bastards never gave ME a shirt =(
Oh and do you do windows?
Nat: Is this Homecoming Day!? How the Hell are ya? Good to see you. And, drink Rose...It's gooood. Cheers Nat!!
Starr: I was a staff rep and Political Director, and plus the chick in charge of such stuff loved me. And yes, I do do windows, and Schmoop can actually testify to that. Cheers Starr!!
Wow. I thought I was the only person out there who ACTUALLY does windows!
Hawaiian shirts are the work of the devil.
I thought you lived in Bagwine? Is that anywhere near Maui? No? Then don't wear them!!
Now, bowling shirts.....get you laid.
Pace yourself...
Metal: Damn...Bowling shirts are hot looking, aren't they? So often my knees have gone weak seeing a guy wearing a shirt that has his name, Mel, sewn on it. Cheers Metal!!
Anndi: I can't. I have to get everything done before Obama, that Muslim bastard becomes Prez, and ruins this country. Cheers, you Canadian Cutie!!
The OCD person in me wants to gather up all those empty hangers and take them to the laundry room! Empty hangers! It's just not right!
Actually, closet cleaning can be cathartic. Say that four times real fast.
Tigger: I have accomplished my mission. It is clean and tidy. I hope that you and your near perfect breasts appreciate that. Cheers Tigger!!
You're right.. he may ban pork!
Anndi: Ban Pork!!? That's Outrageous!! Cheers Anndi!!
Beer and Bacon at your house. Sounds like a party to me!
Evil: Say what you will...I think you're just fanatasizing 'bout the male population at Notre Dame. Cheers!!
Karen: Bacon rules doesn't it? Cheers Karen!!
How did you lose so much weight? Is it all the exercise?
Post a Comment