I like very early morning rises. No noise from the traffic outside. Schmoop is in the bedroom snoring softly. And…
As soon as I sit down to my computer, my cat, Corky comes out from wherever she was sleeping, hops upon the arm of Kelly, and lays there while I type.
It never fails. If I type a post at night or in the morning, my faithful feline companion is at my side.
And so it is this morning…Anyhoo…
I woke up early today for two reasons. Number one…
I had to pee…alot. It was an Austin Powers, newly unfrozen type of de-urine-piss-a-fication. I bet I woke the neighbors.
The second reason I awoke was because as I was battling between consciousness and slumber, I had a great idea related to the breakfast cereal industry.
I came up with a type of cereal that will open up a new market in the industry.
Cereal today is marketed to kids who enjoy prizes and sugary goodness. It’s marketed to old folks who feel the need to have powerful bowel movements.
And, to women of all ages who are actually concerned about what goes into their bodies.
As I was awoke, I figured, hey, who is selling cereal to men 18-55? No one.
Men 18-55, for the most part, have moved beyond the sugar and prizes. They couldn’t care less if they shit or not, and unlike women, they don’t give a damn what goes into their bodies.
So, I think that the vast, male 18-55 market is all mine. So what kind of cereal will I develop?
This cereal right here my friends…
That’s right, bitches. Vagina Charms. Each piece will look like a tiny hoo-ha. And best of all, they will be dripping with milk.
What kind of guy wouldn’t like to wake up to a bowl full of wet va-jay-jay? Okay, gay guys, but other than that, I mean, c’mon.
Yes guys, this cereal is not just simply delicious…It’s Labia-Licious!!
And guys, when you buy it and your buddy asks if you can share, you tell him, “No way dude, eat your own box.”
Also, if your wife or girlfriend gives you any crap about buying it, just remind her that eatin' ain't cheatin'.
Oh yeah, I think I’m on to something. Yum-Oh!!
Enjoy your Friday and your weekend all. And don’t forget…
Vagina…It’s What’s for Breakfast!!
Cheers!!
34 comments:
I prefer my cereal crunchy. I'm thinking your brand would be hard to sell, if it was crunchy. ewww!
I'm also thinking you need more sleep!
Micky: Ha. I'll take a nap before I pick up Ryno today. But you're right, a crunchy vagina would only play well with the over 80 crowd. Cheers Mick!!
Sounds like the breakfast of champions. LOL!
You should totally be a writer for the Bob and Tom show!!!
Hey it could have marshmallow boobies and butts and this way you could also appeal the the gay guys, expanding your demographic. They could just pick out the vaginas and toss them aside :) I don't know if I care for the name, how about Pocket Chamrs.
Michele: Damn straight...or probably more accurately, The Breakfast of Ex-Champions. Cheers Michele!!
Fantasy: I know. That's what I was trying to tell them. Cheers Meg!!
Lu: Ha. I was thinking about calling them Horny-O's. Cheers Pal!!
Dianne: Ha. You kill me. And if you need some help, I'd be glad to scratch your itch for you. Cheers Di!!
I think I would be more drawn to cock-eerios..but once again your brilliance makes me weak!
I'm thinking your target audience would be distinctly white, or so I've been led to believe by demographic analysis.
Snugs: Ha. Well let me catch ya before you fall down. Thanks and Cheers Snugs!!
Songbird: Yeah, true. Quite a few of the bruthas don't play that way. Cheers!!
Oh this is so high brow and clever. Idiot.
Nicole: So...I guess you're telling me that I can't take a picture of your pussy for my prototype? Cheers!!
Phfrankie: Ha. Very Good. Welcome Back and Cheers!!
Kat: Well, typically I think of wet pussy only when I wake up. Breakfast was a bonus. Cheers Kat!!
ha Ha HA !!!
I'm just glad I can have a heapin helpin of Matt-Man humor first thing in the morning.
TGIF (mine's off to a great start)
Love the pic of Corky 'n' Kelly
Dice: Ha. I am soooo glad you shared your breakfast with me. Hope all is well, Dice. Cheers!!
Apparently Nicole's coming here for high-browity. Idiot.
You're totally missing MY demographic!
New and Improved: LESBIOS
With twice the va-ja-jays!
RLL: Mmmmmmmm. I'd eat those for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Yum-Fickin'-Oh!! Cheers Sexy!!
katherine...i don't believe the thought was wet pussy AND breakfast......but more of wet pussy FOR breakfast...
Teamster: Please...I know you and Kat are intimate, but please, direct your comments to me when speaking here. ; ) Cheers Teamster!!
Teamster: Oh don't be so quick to assume that. I've eaten Eggs Benedict off of Schmoop's stomach before. I won't go into detail as to the orgins of the special Hollandaise sauce. Cheers!!
I think I might replace my Frosted Flakes with that cereal. It could be pretty yummy.
So, Nicole comes here for high brow humor? Is this her first visit here? If you don't like the subject matter shove some va-jay-jays in your mouth and do not comment...
As to the fruit on top, shouldn't you have illustrated some bananas? Then you could make a game out of eating your breakfast...you know...slide the banana into the va-jay-jay and then eat it?
Just saying...
Enjoy the weekend..Nancy and I are going NOWHERE!
Jay: Ha. It's the cereal that melts on your face and not in your mouth. Cheers!!
Bond: I was thinking that the fruit should be cherries. Mmmmmm, cherries. Have a great Weekend to Nowhere. Cheers Vin!!
Make sure they're made of that marshmallowey stuff, 'cause they're irresistable. And they're magically delicious. :-)
Giggle: Mmmmmmmmmm. Three words for you: Yes...They ...Are. Cheers!!
I think Nicole needs to get laid..
Snugs: Ha. I think she wants me. Cheers Snugs!!
I think Nicole needs to BE breakfast....
Kat: I think she wants to be. She's sooo uptight. Cheers Kat!!
A lesbian friend and me sat around half drunk one night and we came up with about fifty "lesbia-centric" grocery products, you got the bag on Vagina Charms but we did have "Frosted Lucky Hoo Has" so you have competition my friend, we even came up with "Clitty Pops" - cherry flavoured candy vaginas on a stick but I think the local sex shop already has those...
Sam: Ha. Good Stuff. But can you expound on what you and your lesbian friend did after you discussed these things? ; ) Cheers Sam. And thanks for the comment!!
Starr: Don't pick on Nicole...I do so love a good foil. Cheers Hot Stuff!!
Well I will give her props for posting under her own name!
Starr: Indeed. At least she doesn't suffer from cowardice. Cheers!!
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