Valentine’s Day, birthday celebrations aplenty, and of course, Wednesday the 25th, begins my “3rd Annual 46 Days of Meatless Lent” with the arrival of Ash Wednesday.
However…February also marks Black History Month. And, by golly, I am going to honor it this year, bitches.
Matt-Man is going to honor those of the Nubian persuasion, and for this month, I am back in black.
I feel a tight connection with the black community because number one, I like Bagwine and malt liquor.
And number two?
I share a birthday with Chris Rock.
What says Black History Month better than a hilarious, raucous, foul mouthed comedian and a bottle of ice cold Colt 45?
Damn straight…nothing. Word to your mutha.
How you ask, will Matt-Man show deference to the black community this month? Let me tell you.
First of all, our cat Corky will, for this month, be called, Paka, which means “cat”.I like it, plus it will really fuck with her tiny feline mind.
Schmoop, will be known as, Dalmar, which means, “versatile”.
She can do it all, and much like any well-built Bantu babe, she can really chuck my spear.
Instead of Wild Irish Rose and Milwaukee’s Best Light, this month I will drink Thunderbird and 40’s of King Cobra.
My smoke of choice, Basic Full Flavor, will be replaced by the inhalation of Newport 100’s and the occasional Black and Mild.
Boo Yah, Bitches. Oops, I mean, Boo Yah, Hoes!!
The only music I will listen to this month will be CDs by Donna Summer, Toni Braxton, Chaka Khan, and Sheila E.Not so much because of their music but, Holy Al Green, can you imagine being the meat in that dark rye Club Sandwich? I think I just came!!
Speaking of Club Sandwiches...
I am going to go cold turkey on meth, and switch to smoking crack.
Yeah, it’s Black History Month muthafuckahs, and I am gonna participate.
Seriously, if you get the chance…this month you may be able to catch two of my fave movies airing on cable outlets such as AMC.
Mississippi Burning starring Willem Defoe and Gene Hackman as well as Ghosts of Mississippi starring Alec Baldwin and Whoopi Goldberg.
Both are really good flicks about the struggles of African-Americans during the 60's.If you can’t catch those, do what I do everyday.
Tune into the Tyra Banks show.
And, if you really wanna celebrate Black History Month, watch the Tyra show the same way that I do…
Naked!!
Cheers!!
32 comments:
Matt-man you are so egalitarian. It's what I love about you. Have a Happy February.
Michele: Is that good? ; ) I hope you have a good month as well. Cheers Michele!!
is this part of that change hype we've been hearing?
What delightful Nubian fesh you present!
On a serious note, take a look at Rochelle Riley's proposal: Now's the time to end Black History Month
You forgot to tell everyone to be sure to watch Tyra with the volume all the way DOWN. She's best that way. ;-)
Kat: I don't think it is. As I have always been a fan of the mochachina and bagwine, the only big switch is the change to Newports. I think it's just a flutter of change. Cheers Kat!!
Nick: Mmmmmmm, indeed. And as for Rileys argument, I can see the point of doing away with BHM. It is after all, just a part of American History. Cheers Nick!!
Jay: Normally I would take umbrage at any aspersion cast at Tyra, but in this case...you are soooo right. Cheers Jay!!
Wow! I can't wait to see what you're up to in March--Women's History Month.
Lovely, someone (a new guy) just walked by my office and stopped. What are you lookin' at? he says as I look at the screen and Tyra's boobs just jump right out at ya. I blush. I blush easily with my oh so white fair skin. Feel the cheecks get hot, damn it. Damn you Matt-man why must you have this hold on me that makes me access your site from my office and not the privacy of my own home. Hold me Matt-man; just 'cause. HA! Have a good day buddy. I'm sure I'm gonna hear about this from somewhere... He has already been back by three times.
Lu: Ha. Sorry 'bout that. And just to make up for it, I'll hold ya extra tight and see if perhaps we can put a blush on a couple of other cheeks. Oh my, I must be feeling randy today. Watch out for sidlers, and Cheers, Lu!!
Fantasy: Ha. Thanks for the tip. I'll be sure to come up with something very sexy and feminine just for you. Cheers Meg!!
So the penis extender came in the mail then?
TB: Y'know? I am surprised that you bastardized a well thought out, inclusive post with your stereotypical remark about the size of of black mens' penises...AND implying that mine doesn't measure up. Sad.
One thing however, I'll have to refrain from going south on Schmoop. I hear the bruthas don't play that way. Cheers Sexy!!
I see your rudeness extends to the level of racism and bigatry. You hate black people because they are a different color. That is so open minded Matt-Man. Gag.
ROTFLMAO @ Turnbaby! Ouch!
Personally, I'm waiting for German History month to come to fruition ...
Dana: There is no dick extension needed, because like 90% of American males I already have one. It's called the Remote Control. Cheers!!
Ha! You girls crack me up! But seriously, my man has mucho talent, no extension required ;)
Schmoop: Thanks. I knew one day I would be glad that you leave your bifocals on while having sex with me. Cheers Bay-Bee!!
..I just KNEW Nicole was gonna rip you a new one over this post...
Phfrankie: Ha. She's nothing if not predictable. I just want to know if she's hot looking. That would make up for her bitterness and loathing of me. Cheers P-Man!!
I thought Nicole was leaving? As in weeks ago?
God, those ta-tas are like freakin' headlamps. I'm blinded for life.
Songbird: Oh my, and how I would love to be blinded by those lights for life. Mmmmmmmmmmm.
I think Nicole is hooked on Matthamphetimine. Boo Yah. Cheers Dear!!
I celebrated last night by watching Chris Rock's "Don't Kill the Messenger". Awesome, as always!
I think in time, you'll turn Nicole around, you have with many others over the years.
MatthamphetimineYou got something!!
Ah my brotha...keeping' the faith and all
bad ass picture
Giggle: CR is da man. Cheers GP!!
Micky: I dunno. Her heart seems hardened much like Pharaoh's was against the Jews. Cheers Mick!!
Bond: Ha. Thanks. I thought it turned out to be kinda cool looking. Cheers Vin!!
Pretty sure Tyra's titties are fake, but I still get a thrill up my leg listening to Donna Summer belt out that 1978 Disco stuff.
So Matt-Man does this mean in September will you celebrate National Hispanic Culture Month? It's a whole month of celebrating MY people!
Hoot: Don't be knockin' my baby's knockers. Cheers Hoot!!
Lady: With any luck I can celebrate it with you. I'm stocking up on tequila as we speak. Cheers LJ!!
I have a preference for another kind of pie. Berry pie. Haley Berry pie...
Well of COURSE Rock is an Aquarian =)
I'll do my part for Black History month and go to Campbell's Bar B Que. Ribs and collard greens. Oh my god, I am starving now.
VE: Mmmmmmmmmm. But you have to get past her mental illness. i.e. Bat-Shit craziness. Cheers!!
Starr: He does rock, and you know what? I have never been a big rib fan. I am an outcast 'round here as far as that goes. Cheers!
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