Valentine’s Day, birthday celebrations aplenty, and of course, Wednesday the 25th, begins my “3rd Annual 46 Days of Meatless Lent” with the arrival of Ash Wednesday.
However…February also marks Black History Month. And, by golly, I am going to honor it this year, bitches.
Matt-Man is going to honor those of the Nubian persuasion, and for this month, I am back in black.
I feel a tight connection with the black community because number one, I like Bagwine and malt liquor.
And number two?
I share a birthday with Chris Rock.
What says Black History Month better than a hilarious, raucous, foul mouthed comedian and a bottle of ice cold Colt 45?
Damn straight…nothing. Word to your mutha.
How you ask, will Matt-Man show deference to the black community this month? Let me tell you.
First of all, our cat Corky will, for this month, be called, Paka, which means “cat”.I like it, plus it will really fuck with her tiny feline mind.
Schmoop, will be known as, Dalmar, which means, “versatile”.
She can do it all, and much like any well-built Bantu babe, she can really chuck my spear.
Instead of Wild Irish Rose and Milwaukee’s Best Light, this month I will drink Thunderbird and 40’s of King Cobra.
My smoke of choice, Basic Full Flavor, will be replaced by the inhalation of Newport 100’s and the occasional Black and Mild.
Boo Yah, Bitches. Oops, I mean, Boo Yah, Hoes!!
The only music I will listen to this month will be CDs by Donna Summer, Toni Braxton, Chaka Khan, and Sheila E.Not so much because of their music but, Holy Al Green, can you imagine being the meat in that dark rye Club Sandwich? I think I just came!!
Speaking of Club Sandwiches...
I am going to go cold turkey on meth, and switch to smoking crack.
Yeah, it’s Black History Month muthafuckahs, and I am gonna participate.
Seriously, if you get the chance…this month you may be able to catch two of my fave movies airing on cable outlets such as AMC.
Mississippi Burning starring Willem Defoe and Gene Hackman as well as Ghosts of Mississippi starring Alec Baldwin and Whoopi Goldberg.
Both are really good flicks about the struggles of African-Americans during the 60's.If you can’t catch those, do what I do everyday.
Tune into the Tyra Banks show.
And, if you really wanna celebrate Black History Month, watch the Tyra show the same way that I do…
Naked!!
Cheers!!
