It is hard however...what does a guy get his love?
Candy? Borrrrring, and it will go straight to your lover's hips.
Flowers? Roses die and are overpriced.
How about a Vermont Teddy Bear?
Puhleeeeeze. I see commericals for these stupid things every February.
It's a stuffed animal for God's sake. Unless, you're some pervert who is in love with an 8 year old girl, I think not.
In fact, the Vermont Teddy Bear Co. should rename themeselves, Pedophiles Direct!!
I know that Schmoop likes perfume...She really likes White Diamonds...
It does smell pretty good on her, but why stop at a good smelling neck and face? I could also get her a big can of Fem Fresh!! She'd smell great where it really counts...
I may as well go all the way...If her neck, wrists, and hoo-ha are a combination of wondrous scents, why not get her something me and the boys use at work?
Damn Straight!! I'll throw in a can of Ass Cleaner for her...um...can. As you can see, the best thing about this Ass Cleaner...It's Streakless!!
That is a bit much and she might gather from that troika of gifts that I think she stinks.
Perhaps I could get her something that I have always wanted to buy.
The Inflatable Bondage Chair...
Nothing says love like Air-Cushioned simulated rape and abuse. But alas, her and I would bust a hole in that thing in no time flat.
I wouldn't mind trying to get something "cute" for her this year, but not a Vermont Teddy Bear.
In spite of her 125 pound frame she does like to eat...but not candy so much.
Hmmmmmm? I need to find something cute that she could eat. How about this?
It is an adorable lookin' baloney...thingy...loaf with a smiley face. I think while cute, it might freak her out. It is after all, kinda clown lookin'.
I think I'll know what I'll do.
I'll use a gift certificate that I received for my birthday and get us something both her and I can sink our teeth into with Valentine's Day glee.
A special Heart-Shaped Pizza from one of Bagwine, Ohio's favorite pizza places, Cassano's.
Yeah that's the ticket; she'll love it...With this idea, I can not only have my pie, I'll get to eat it too.Cheers!!
42 comments:
Did they have to tickle the pig to make him smile like that?
Hey now don't dis the bear! My girlfriends just sent me one with a cast and crutches!
That blow up bondage chair would also be great if you want to go tubing down the local creek or river in the summer. See, it's multi-functional.
just get them ALL....
I have come to the conclusion that the only Valentine's Day one need give is LOVE.
PITS: That would be an awful job to have...pig tickler. Cheers!!
Cheesy: That's....nice. Cheers and damn you have a knack. Cheers Cheesy!!
Jay: Wow...Bondage Tubing Sex. That would be some wet, wild, fun. Cheers Jay!!
Kat: I should...after all the Ass Cleaner would be free. Cheers Kat!!
Nick: Well there's that...and Pizza. PIZZA, NICK!! Cheers!!
Valentine's Day is my mom's birthday. I'm thinking none of your ideas would work for her.
Fantasy: Yeah maybe not so much. It's Saintly Nick's B-Day as well...I think he'd like the Pizza. Cheers Meg!!
Lovely Dear, just lovely. I'm touched, no really!
Schmoop: And I know how much you like to be touched, no really! I am always thinkin' outside (or is that inside) the box where you are concerened. Zoves. Cheers!!
I'm just going to tear my heart out for Bic this year, and be done with it.
Not really, I'll make her another wooden heart of some sort, I do every year, something different. Lets see.....mmmm.....maybe African Mahogony this year.
Micky: Cooool. I always think it is sweeter to do or make something for someone than buy something when conveying love. And I dig the African Mahogany. Cheers Mick!!
Our romance is strong, hubby gets a coupon for Kay Jewlers in the mail and looks at me and says "so you wanna go to Kay's or what?" HA! I said "no, I'll just wear the pink saphire necklace and ring you bought me for my 50th last year and we'll be good" He smiled and said "sounds like a plan" I did mention that I want a card though. Probably wont get one. I bought his already; of course. You have made me think about a gift. He sure could use that can o' ass spray ha ha ha :)
P.S. NOTHING SAYS LOVIN LIKE A HEART SHAPED PIZZA, RIGHT ON!
Lu: That's sweet. And let me know, I'll send you a can of Ass Cleaner, post haste.
And you're right...A pizza from Cassano's would result in a meaty love-fest over here. Cheers Lu!!
I sell the cleaner where I work butt we must have gotten a batch of miss labeled product because ours says glass cleaner. Hmm maybe I could just hit his crack with some Windex *snicker* :)
Lu: Ha. When we are slow at work, a Sharpie comes in handy. Oh the fun, one can have with a Sharpie and a digital camera. Cheers Lu!!
That pizza looks incredible! However you spend your Valentine's Day I hope it's filled with lots of love. But that being said nothing quite says love like being tied to a sex chair.
Lady: Thanks and right back at ya sexy. Y'know, with your sex chair comment, you have just confirmed that me having a thing for you wasn't misplaced. ; ) Cheers LJ!!
I LOVE the heart shaped pizza!!!
And that chair looks like it would defeat the purpose of making things 'available'*giggle*
TB: See that grease towards the top of the box? It's a beautiful thing. And yeah, the chair appears as though it wouldn't allow full access. Cheers Sexy!!
look how your pork smiles! lovely
Dianne: Ha. My pork is always smiling...unless of course, Schmoop is shedding some uterine lining. Cheers Di!!
...I'm all for the baloney...thingy...
Phfrankie: I would love to have that here. Delicious and quite the conversation piece. Also, it would be fun to make painful, screaming noises when frying it. Cheers!!
Ya know with these economic times being so tough I think Saint Nick is right and you should just show your love with maybe tying a nice red bow around your uhm..I can't remember if you have names yours..you one eyed solider or whatever you call him.
Snugs: That's a nice thought, and "Seamus" appreciates your idea, but in addition to that, there must be pizza. Cheers Snugs!!
That gives new meaning to those damn vegetarians that always say, "I never eat anything with a face."
Precisely why I would NEVER date a vegetarian!
LMAO LMAO @ THE FRYING SCREAMS!!!
From your cracked ribs comment @ casa del cheese I have a sneakin hunch you and schmoop tried out the chair yesterday???
RLL: I used to work with several veggies, and they were always sick. I know of who reads me now, Michele, now she seems pretty hip. But yeah, I love to eat faces too. Cheers Sexy!!
Cheesy: Ha. I wish that was the case but alas it is not. I'll post about my steel upon rib incident tomorrow. Take of your broken body, my dear. Cheers!!
dunno...mattman...I think the ass cleaner might lead to chafing.
Hope: No way...Look at the bottom of the can. Not only is it Streakless, more importantly, it's Ammonia-Free. Chafing potential is limited!! Cheers Hope!!
I'm loving the tubular meat! I think I'll forward that to husband ...
One of everything please!!!! lolol
Dana: How can a tube of smiling meat put a song in one's heart? Cheers!!
Giggle: Comin' right up. Can I be the one to strap you in? Cheers GP!!
yes; he♥rt-sh♥ped PIZZA!
FEED EACH OTHER...
Dice: A purrrrrfect touch, Dice. We shall do that. = ) Cheers!!
Very thoughtful gifts. But I agree with Saintly Nick...the best gift of all is Love...and it is priceless. :-)
Hugs,
Kimmie
P.S. @ Schmoop, White Diamonds is one of my favorite perfumes also. It is so soft and pretty. :-)
Hugs,
Kimmie
Kimmie: Love is fine, but I think I am going to opt for the Bondage Chair. Schmoop would look ravishing in it. She looks hawt when naked and in distress. Plus she already knows that I love her. Cheers!!
Heartshaped Pizza for the win!!
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