Mondays are always blah, but wow, this Monday has nothing.It’s the last Monday of the butt ass crack dismal month of February.
Cold, gray, and as exciting and captivating as listening to an audio tape recording of the Bible being read by Stephen Hawking.
Although, I guess that would be kinda funny.
I mean, can you imagine listening to the story of Lot having sex with his daughters as told through the tone and quality of a McDonald’s Drive-Thru speaker?
Ha. I may need to revisit that, but that’s not my point. My point is…Monday February 23rd is like a non-day.
If I could put time in a bottle, this day would be the backwash.
But rejoice my friends…all is not lost. Tomorrow will usher in better times, more excitement, and move us 24 hours closer to the weekend.
And…
Tomorrow is Mardi Gras!! Better known in Bagwine, as Matty Gras or Mat Tuesday. Boo Yah, bitches; we’ll be celebrating it right here.
E-mail me a picture of your boobs today or tomorrow and by golly I’ll e-mail you a picture of some beads for your effort. Ya can’t top that deal.
Of course Wednesday is Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent. For me as you know, it means not eating meat for 46 days, but that’s not all…
Jay, the Cynical Bastard himself, has entered the Sweepstakes of Salvation.
Ha. I may need to revisit that, but that’s not my point. My point is…Monday February 23rd is like a non-day.
If I could put time in a bottle, this day would be the backwash.
But rejoice my friends…all is not lost. Tomorrow will usher in better times, more excitement, and move us 24 hours closer to the weekend.
And…
Tomorrow is Mardi Gras!! Better known in Bagwine, as Matty Gras or Mat Tuesday. Boo Yah, bitches; we’ll be celebrating it right here.
E-mail me a picture of your boobs today or tomorrow and by golly I’ll e-mail you a picture of some beads for your effort. Ya can’t top that deal.
Of course Wednesday is Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent. For me as you know, it means not eating meat for 46 days, but that’s not all…
Jay, the Cynical Bastard himself, has entered the Sweepstakes of Salvation. The man is giving up all forms of junk food for Lent.
Is that big or what? Damn right it is. He’s eschewing cakes, cookies, chips, pizza etc. until Jeebus arises in April.
After our sacrifice is complete, Jay and I will be securely held within the bosom of the Lord.
I think three things when I envision that menage a trois of Messianic matriculation…
Sweet, ironic, and pretty damn creepy.
And to get you through this most mundane Monday of the year, I leave you with that vision.
A vision of me, Jay, and Jeebus sitting in a land of milk and honey eating cheeseburgers, tossing back burritos, and drinking heavily.
And of course, we’ll all be naked and taking turns going down on Mary Magdalene.
Here’s to the end of Monday.
Cheers!!
Is that big or what? Damn right it is. He’s eschewing cakes, cookies, chips, pizza etc. until Jeebus arises in April.
After our sacrifice is complete, Jay and I will be securely held within the bosom of the Lord.
I think three things when I envision that menage a trois of Messianic matriculation…
Sweet, ironic, and pretty damn creepy.
And to get you through this most mundane Monday of the year, I leave you with that vision.
A vision of me, Jay, and Jeebus sitting in a land of milk and honey eating cheeseburgers, tossing back burritos, and drinking heavily.
And of course, we’ll all be naked and taking turns going down on Mary Magdalene.
Here’s to the end of Monday.
Cheers!!
25 comments:
So I assume that you will be eating tons of meat tomorrow. I posted a yummy recipe that you might help you get through Lent - Irish Balls. It'll show up tomorrow.
Good luck to you and your friend.
I was really hoping to spend eternity with the Victoria's Secret models. Nothing personal dude. ;-)
Yeah Jay if you are giving up Pizza I'd hold out for Heidi Klum.
No offense Matt ;)
Michele: I'll check it out. I walk around with Irish Balls everyday but ubfortunately, unlike a dog, I can't reach to taste them. Thanks and Cheers!!
Jay: You have evidently never seen Mary Magdalene. That chick is smokin' hot. Cheers and Good Luck, Jay!!
Starr: Y'know? I offer a vision of eternal life and salvation and what do I get from you? Heartache. Cheers Starr!!
There is symmetry in all things.
You give up meat for Lent and I have decided to give up eating healthy food. I will be loading up on bacon, steaks, burgers and all other forms of carnivorous, bliss-inducing foods!
Enjoy your Mat Tuesday!
Metal: Oh how I looooathe you. But I needn't hate. You'll get your final reward...In Hell. Cheers Metal!!
Talking about Mary Magdaline was bad enough, but asking for porn pics from your readers? Thats a new low from you. You're gross.
Nicole: Like irony is lost on some people, humor, or attempts thereof, are lost on you aren't they?
I bet you don't even find Bugs Bunny to be humorous, and that is not acceptable. Cheers!!
...I hope you don't run into Jim Croce up in Heaven...
Phfrankie: If I do, maybe he and I will smoke a big fatty. Ganja never did much for me, but maybe in Heaven with Jim, I can finally get high. Cheers P-Man!!
Wait just a cotton picking minute!!!
You take that back~~~
Cake is NOT junk food!
I would beg to differ with you, dear man. Today is NOT ordinary. Today, Monday, February 23, 2009 is my precious daughter's 13th birthday.
God help me.
Cheesy: While not a big fan of cake myself, you'll need to take your grievance up the Jay-Man. Cheers!!
Songbird: Well, there you go ladies and gentlemen...In a small pocket of Arizona there beams a ray of sunshine.
Happy Birthday to the little one. Cheers Dear!!
So, I guess that means Nicole is not sending any naked pictures...
However mine is on the way
From her picture I guess her heart is on the shelf and her humor is up her a**
Bond: Ha. Well played. She's in need of something and I think I know what it is.
Can't wait for the pic (Hey Nicole, see? That was a joke as well.)
Enjoy your road time. Well, as much as it can be enjoyed. Cheers Vinny!!
Can I just show you mine??? E-mail takes too much effort. Hey Jay, way to take one for the team!!
Schmoop: You show me yours and instead of beads, I'll give you a pearl necklace. Mmmmmmmmm.
And you're right...Jay is steppin' up to the plate and about to hit one out of the park. Zoves and Cheers, Schmoop!!
I love that Nicole keeps coming back from ~her~ side to keep an eye on ~this~ side. She must be such a nice, nice, good, good person, yet she can't keep herself away from Bagwine! Ha Ha
Micky: I think she's just in search of the truth. Okay maybe not...Maybe she's just in search of some validation. Cheers Mick!!
This shit ends in APRIL!? It's February! Holy Jeebus!
I'm just so impressed now. Wow.
Starr: Or...maybe a "stcik" up her ass is EXACTLY what she needs. Cheers!!
RLL: Ha. It's a looooonnnnnng time. Cheers Sexy!!
I'm giving up my Starbucks habit for lent.
Don't be too proud of me. I can't afford it anymore anyway. HA!
Oy If Mary has that to look forward to she just might hit up the ol' big G to skip ahead a few days so y'all can start bangin on her a little sooner. Jeeze of Pete!
Giggle: I've had the new Micky D's coffe, not too bad at all. Cheers Buddy!!
Lu: Ha. Very Good. Cheers Pal!!
Post a Comment