I spoke about prostitution profits on Tuesday…
And, smoking and drugs windfalls on Wednesday…
Today, the third of my four part Bagwine Economic Plan focuses on…Religion.
The old saying from World War II states, “Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition.”My plan calls for a new saying…
Praise the Lord, and cough up the money that you have been stealing from viewers in God’s name, you charlatan televangelist bastards, who claim to run a non-profit house of God…You!!
Okay…that was a little wordy, but you get my point.
You want to get a donation in return for some vial of “Holy Water” that is actually Hudson River sewage, over your 800 line?
Have at it…However.
When 78 year old Martha Smith sends in her $29.95, keep in mind that $20.00 of it will go to the government instead of the Lord Almighty…or in your case, a new wine cellar. Do you hear me Paul Crouch!?
We’re going to tax these so called churches...
Tax them to the point where it will be easier for these false prophets to get into Heaven than it will for a dollar to pass through their hands and make its way to a down payment on a 5 million dollar home.
Are ya with me Joyce Meyer? And by the way Joyce…I know you think you look good, but seriously…
You really look like a cheap New Orleans whore who is soooooo past her prime.
And remember, turnin’ tricks for Jeebus is gonna cost you from now on.
So let it be written; so let it be done.
Benny Hinn, Rod Parsley, Kenneth Copeland…It will be a divine miracle if you have a penny left after I am through taxing you, and your “church”.
Of course, that doesn’t matter to you guys, because you have Jeebus in your hearts…right?
And lastly, a message to Pope Benedict XVI…
I realize that you claim to be infallible, but hear me now. You are not "intaxable".
Cough it up, Blitzkrieg Benny…The Catholic Church owes America about a Trinity of a Billion Dollars.
You can start the pay back by paying property taxes on the $470,000.00 house you just bought for the new Archbishop of Cincinnati.
God Forbid, he live above the Church in an apartment like the last Archbishop.I know…I know…this wasn’t funny like the first two parts of my plan, but I can’t help it.
As much as I like religion, for far too long, and far too often, organized religion/churches have gotten away with economic sacrilege.
More than the Congress and politicians, these types of folks make my stomach turn.
You see, politicians play upon peoples’ fear and ignorance. While not right, fear and ignorance hold little worth.
Televangelists and clerics play upon peoples’ faith. That DOES have worth.
And more importantly, sometimes that is all people have.
Tax the Bastards...Amen.
Cheers!!
Update (9:25 A.M.): Well, well...Ha!! You rock , Joyce. You sleazy co-hunt, you.
Visitor Information: 70.252.207.230 (JOYCE MEYER MINISTRIES 2 OF) [Label Visitor]
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Feelin' guitly Joyce Meyer...or Art?
Visitor Information: 70.252.207.230 (JOYCE MEYER MINISTRIES 2 OF) [Label Visitor]
Location: -, -, UNITED STATES
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You guys blow...in more ways than one...So sayeth the Little Baby Jeebus!!
36 comments:
This is why I enjoy being a heathen Pagan - we just want flowers, nice teas, naked dancing and lots of bonfires. We don't cost much and making love is never a sin - its just another way to pray :-)
Sam: Sounds like the makings of a bee yoo tee ful religion. Cheers Sam!!
This is the best part of your plan yet. These parasites are as bad as scammers who dupe money out of the elderly.
Michele: I watch televangelists often because I find them hilarious. And then, I end up pissed off because I think of the poor souls who actually send them money. Cheers Michele!!
"...and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make..."
Phfrankie: Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world...Lennon while dead, still rocks. Cheers P-Man!!
Your profound disrespect, which you seem to think validates your opinions, is only outdone by your ignorance of what you speak.
First, Joyce Meyer has no church. Sorry, thanks for playing.
Second, her ministry feeds tens of thousands worldwide, builds towns (yes, entire towns) in some nations to assist underprivledged in receiving job training, and provides healthcare to some who would otherwise never see a medical professional (with the possible exception of a witch doctor).
Third, she effectively has a negative salary from her ministry (she donates more than she is paid). Her money is strictly from "public" (non Christian-bookstore) sales of her books.
Feel free to continue to minister to your little flock in whatever manner you choose, but know that truth (of a divine nature, or otherwise) is certainly NOT what you are preaching.
Art: The organization that she runs spends a whopping ten percent of it's income on charity, but you wouldn't know it from Joyce's quote "The Bible said that Jesus came for the sick and not the well. We're just trying to relieve suffering any way we can." On the other hand, she has her own ten million dollar jet, four million dollars in property and a hundred thousand dollar car for her husband.
The good news on this greedy fundamentalist is that she's under investigation by the Internal Revenue Service for possible violations of federal law. I'll certainly be praying for her; She needs some serious prision time.
--Tallahasee Democrat
Art, your "prophetess" and good-doer is a phony. And a bastard of all things that are Christ-Like. Enjoy your Hell, buddy.
Matthew: 7:15.
Bite Me, Art. Cheers!!
ouCH!
I don't know anything about her. I have watched her on TV in snippets more than once. Because of the bad rap telepreachers get I am distrustfull of them all and don't see the need personally to get to the truth. God is in my heart and doing just fine there :)
Amen and bass the bagwine Brother.
Lu: If my site meter and the comments coincide, Art works for Joyce Meyer Ministries. And I use the word, "ministries" very, very loosely. Cheers Pal!!
Her spin doctor?
Lu: If he is, he should be sued for malpractice. Cheers, My Bestest Buddy!!
I just finished reading a book where the author goes "undercover" and joins John Hagee's church down in San Antonio. I'm going to post a book review next week.
These people are all con men and con women. Their churches exist to make them rich. Oh, and to create HUGE political slush funds.
I say tax the hell outta these mega churches.
Art...HOW DARE YOU! People, all people from the young to the elderly are sending money to these alledged GOD representives. They are losing their savings for GOD's sake! Are you that ill informed, or just stupid? I believe in GOD, I pray to GOD. I do not need someone on TV to tell me I'm going to hell because I don't give them my money! You and your ilk make me sick.
Jay: I am glad you brought him up. Hagee is a puke. He's the Rush Limbaugh of the televangelists. He's soooo self-knowing. He's an over-zealous protectorate of one of the biggest drains on this country, which be Israel.
Hey I love Israelis, but c'mon...We spend as much money on Israel as we do Iraq. Get over it. Cheers Jay!!
Schmoop: As Bono says, "The God I know, doesn't need my money."
Fuck em'. God, Church, and salvation is one's heart. It doesn't lie withinn Joyce's or anyone else's perfectly crafted message. Cheers and Loooooves!!
there is a special place in hell for those who steal in God's name...
Don't ya love stat counters?
Kat: One of the wort types of crime evah. That's what makes me mad. Cheers Kat!!
Cheesy: I looove 'em. There are no secrets anymore. Cheers Cheesy!!
so maybe Joyce is related to Nicole huh??
I just switched on my TV and they are all gathered around Joyce and she is speaking in tongues proclaiming that Jeebus has put a bounty on your head to the sum of $1,000,000.00 to be paid by her flock of listeners sending the money to her
So now she is collecting money in YOUR name!
So sayeth the she from the tarmac next to her jet...Holly Lu YA
Right on, Matteo. I shall sleep well knowing you have tweaked that twat and her followers. Organized religion disgusts me on most levels. It's why I believe in Jesus but think his PR firm sucks ass.
Starr: JM Ministries keeps coming back and coming back. I guess they hate the truth. Cheers Bay-Bay!!
Praise Jeebus, I'm 200% with ya on this one!!!! AMEN!!
Or is it that they hate the picture you used as that is her Sunday go to meeting outfit?
as that is NOT her Sunday go to meeting outfit...
sheesh
""""SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS""""""""
FUCK YOU.... TV MINISTRIES...YOU WILLINGLY "TAKE" MONEY FROM THE POOR!!!!!
"give" those fuckers their money!
Jesus did a pretty good job of saying "follow me, don't sell me" when he turned over the tables in the temple.
Bwahaha...I just love it when they sneak around trying to justify what is written about them. But don't mess with the matt-man. Not ever! Excellent plan this time.
As a fallen away Catholic, I can only say--eh... nothing.
Religion asses me.
as for fear not having worth...it kinda does...it has whatever people give it. That's a scary proposition, too. I'm with you though...that and what they do to faith is the sacrilege.
Bond: She's a real peach, no? I am sure they mean me no harm. They're so...um...Christ-Like? Cheers Vinny!!
Micky: Don't sugar coat it...Tell us how you really feel. Cheers Mick!!
Jeff: Yeah that's what I thought too. Evidently some religious types, don't read none too good. Cheers Jeff!!
Giggle: I love it when you get behind me. Though, I d rather be behind you. Cheers GP!!
VE: Ha. They are such an easy lot to get aroused when they are questioned. Cheers VE!!
Hope: A little fear is always good for survival. And yes, these types of shysters make my nuts sore. Cheers Hope!!
You gather the best visitors to your blog. It must be your natural animal magnetism.
Songbird: It is a gift from God. It's magical. Cheers!!
AMEN!!!
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