And Words Are All I Have...

I discovered something yesterday by accident. My post about Jackson’s service yesterday was my 1,200th post.

1,200!! That’s a lot of damn posts, Bitches!!

I figure, that averaging conservatively at 350 words per post…since May of 2006, I have written 420,000 words upon the pages of Bagwine Ruminations.

At least 100 of those words I completely made up and foisted upon today’s vernacular. I’ll have to go back and make a list at some point.

Of those posts, some have been funny, some touching…some quite smart, some infantile…some heretical, some downright pornographic.

Over these 3+ years and 1,200 posts, I have introduced to you my cat, Corky. You have met my couch, Kelly. You had the pleasure of meeting my one true love…me Wild Irish Rose Schmoop.

Members of my family and Schmoop’s have graced the pages. You’ve met people like Hair Care Aker, Bagwine Kringle, Pizza Bill, Dave, and the apple of my eye, Ryno.

Some of you have witnessed me go from weighing 260 lbs to 180 lbs. You have endured my Meatless Lents.

Many of you have seen pictures of me Half-Nekkid on these pages. A few of the luckier readers have seen me completely nekkid.

Those who have seen me in that state, and the email attachments containing said poses, will be kept forever under wraps. Won’t they…WON’T THEY!!?

I have talked about how I would love to have sex with the likes of Tyra Banks and Jessica Alba. I have had sex with many of you as well.

Trust me, in my mind, damn near all of the chicks who have visited here have been pictured naked and been the catalyst for a bit of hot hand-to-wanker action.

I have openly discussed my desire to have a sex change and become a lesbian porn star. I refuse you nothing from the burning pit of my soul.

Within the previous 1,200 posts I have discussed my intimate relation with the Holy Baby Jeebus.

I have made fun of Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Evangelical nut jobs, and religion in general.

I guess I haven’t tried embarrass Scientology and its followers. Eh, I feel that Tom Cruise is doing a pretty damn good job of that on his own, so why bother?

I have satirically jabbed at Kwanzaa, the word “retard”, use of the word “gay”, and the hypocrisy of the human species. I think most importantly, I have no problem making fun of myself.

Anything “politically correct” is always on my radar screen and will continue to be a big part of my comedy food pyramid.

As will both left and right wing nuts…politicians…uptight fuck wads who know claim to know what’s best for others, and of course, my personal Lord, savior and drinking buddy, Jeebus Christ.

Yes indeed…1,200 posts have come and gone. And my friends, what exactly have we learned?

Not a God Damn thing. Ha. Seriously, though...I have learned that it’s okay to be serious, while not taking oneself too seriously.

I have learned that there are quite a few people in this world who are assholes, and I thank them for the material.

I have also learned that my regular readership is made up of adults.

Adults in the sense, that they are mature enough to disagree and still come back…mature enough to allow others to enjoy offensive material…mature enough to tell others and be told by others to go fuck themselves and still wear a smile.

I dig that.

Here’s to the next 1,200 posts, and thanks for stopping by.

Cheers!!