Thursday, August 06, 2009

Hodgepodge and Health Care Protestors

I’m feeling nervous…not necessarily a bad, doom-ridden nervous, but rather more of an anxious feeling.

That sensation is preventing me from focusing on any one thing, so…

Today’s treatise is a bit of hodgepodge…an olio…a potpourri, a veritable vichyssoise of somewhat random thoughts.

This day in 1945 was not only the day the first A-Bomb was dropped but also the day that my mom and dad were married.

If they were still with us, they would be celebrating their 64th Wedding Anniversary today. But alas, they are celebrating this day in Heaven.

My mom is undoubtedly playing cards with her friends...Picture a dozen blue haired ladies engaged in a vicious card game to see who will walk away with the grand prize of a $3.50 pine scented candle bought at the check out line of the grocery store.

My dad? He is laying on a long, heavenly couch watching re-runs of Mr. Ed, Hogan’s Heroes, or The Andy Griffith Show.

And in heaven, my dad is happy because they don’t show the Andy Griffith episodes in which the main story revolves around Opie or Aunt Bee. Oh, how he loathed those particular episodes.

I have no idea why, but the following things turn me on when worn by a woman:

A pony tail, especially when it sticks out of the back of a baseball cap. Thumb rings, no idea why. Ankle bracelets. Schmoop has one.

It’s quite plain, but seeing her wearing it, makes me hot. Glasses…A chick in glasses makes me weak in the knees. Schmoop should wear hers more.

A lady came through the Beer Mine last night. She was kinda cute but it was the perfume she was wearing that caught my attention. I wanted to ask her what it was so I could get some for Schmoop.

I didn’t ask her because I figured she would think that I was coming on to her and/or was some kind of creep. I think it’s sad that I had to even consider that scenario, but society has made people uptight.

See that picture of me?

On my forehead is a check that I just received from a company for embedding a link to their company within my June 10th post about the guy in Ohio who was arrested for parading around in a woman’s swimsuit.

It’s not a big check, but I thought it was cool.

They sought me out because they liked my writing. It was out of the blue and I initiated nothing. I can dig that. 10-20 of those a month and Schmoop and I would be quite happy.

I’m hanging out with Ryno this morning. We may drive some golf balls, hit the batting cages, or fish.

Whatever we do, I’ll have to feed the boy, and I may spring for Taco Bell for Schmoop and I tonight. Man, that aforementioned check went quickly.


A word from me to all of the Town Hall Meeting Health Care protestors. Quit being loud-mouthed assholes. You come off as senseless morons.

If you want to debate government health care, learn what proposals are out there and debate them on the merits.

Or, if you want to protest with the volume turned up, could you be funny about it? I like creative humor. I’m a propagandist for gods sakes, and like the protestors I have seen, not a policy wonk.

In fact, when government types are discussing health care or environmental policies and proposals, my eyes glaze over and I begin to drool white spittle from the corners of my mouth. You know, like Larry King does every night.

I beg of all of you Anti-Government Health Care Town Hall Meeting Maniacs, either be smart or be funny…but please, take your dunce cap off, quit shouting and start showing a modicum of respect for others, and by all means…

Since many of you wacky protestors I have seen appear to be getting along in age, make sure to write your representative and tell him/her you no longer want to receive Medicare, VA care, or the electro-shock therapy you so desperately need.



Dana said...

Congrats on the validation - unsolicited $$ for doing something you love is always a cool thing!

Funny (true) story. I was talking to a *cough*Republican*cough* co-worker today who said, "National health care? The government just better keep their paws of my Medicare!"

It was a proud moment for me ...

Starrlight said...

I love non health care worker folks. They live in this fantasy land that we are not all paying for the uninsured. Hah.


Trust me on this I do nothing but look at premiums for commercial group health care all day long. And I can tell you, we pay already. In my opinion the 2 key prongs on the pitchfork of fuck us up the ass on premiums is for profit insurance companies (MY peeps are not for profit thank you very much) and Pharma.

Matt-Man said...

Dana: Who doesn't love validation once in awhile. Even those who say they don't need it or want it.

As for the co-worker...See? Health Care and Government intervention and control is such a HUGE fucking web people just pick this and pick that to either affirm or oppose.

THAT is exactly why I am not a policy wonk...Only God Almighty can get his hands around all of the proposals, anti-proposals, and other crap. The world has gotten too big to control.

That is also, and no, I'm not pointing a finger at you, why people like to ID themselves with a party or a label. When they do that it helps to make sense out of life. Unfortunately it also retards thought and an openness (sp) to alternative ideas.


Matt-Man said...

Starr: And I having represented Healt Care workers for more than a few years agree with you.

I about threw up a few minutes ago. O'Lielly said something I said to a friend a week ago. He disagreed with Dick "Up the Butt" Morris when MOrris said our Health Care system is the best in the world.

It's not...Our Health Care is the best, but the Health Care SYSTEM is fucked up.


Jay said...

So that post was a total sell-out? You did it for money and used us?

Way to go dude! Good job! ;-)

Matt-Man said...

Jay: The funny thing was, that they contacted me last Thursday about it. The link wasn't on there until then. It still gets a load of Google hits. As do my Roker posts. Cheers Jay!!

Michele said...

Are your dad's eyes closed and he's snoring but whenever anyone turns the channel he says; "I was watching that"?

Scott Oglesby said...

I agree totally with the pony tail sticking out the back of the baseball hat thing. It just screams athletic, supple, and sexy. I have an embarrassing confession of my own; cartoon characters do it for me sometimes. Occasionally Marge can do it with the sultry voice, but Lois Griffin makes me freakin crazy man.

I always thought that the white spittle coming out of Larry King’s mouth was from his crack addiction.

Matt-Man said...

Michele: Nooooooo because in Heaven, no one snores. Cheers Michele!!

Scott: Two words that drip hot cartoon sex: Erin Esurance. Purrrrr.

As for King? I didn't know that a guy who has obviously been dead for thrity years could be addicted to crack. Cheers Scott!!

David said...

I've been ordering the virtual vichyssoise and not been particularly pleased with it – damn stuff is always cold by the time they serve it. I'm going to try the veritable vichyssoise next time.

Political protests, healthcare debated, sex appeal of ponytails & baseball caps, projections on heavenly social diversions and hobbies, Matt-Man has it all and more.

Have a great day with Ryno.


Phfrankie Bondo said...

...I do belive you may have hit the nail on the head: the world has gotten too big to control...

Matt-Man said...

David: That read like a movie review blurb in movie ad. I like it. CHeers David!!

Phfrankie: And the funny things is that while technology has brought information more quickly and people closer, the world still has become too damn big. Cheers!!

Lu' said...

The scent you like on one woman may smell quite different on another woman even if drawn from the same bottle.

Hodgepodgecally speaking, nice post :) Have a good 'ne Bud'

Schmoop said...

Exactly Lu, that's why White Diamonds smells better on Matt than me!!!!

katherine. said...

I always like reading your memories of your folks. The playing cards for a scented candle reminds me so much of my Gramma and their friends. sigh

Your comment about our Health Care is the best...but the Health Care system is fucked is totally true!!!...but I really believe the blame needs to be laid at the door of the Insurance Industry...THAT is what needs to be overhauled!

I'm going out to buy a thumb ring now...

enjoy your time with the boy

Bond said...

This was just a hodgepodigal of minutia...

Matt-Man said...

Lu: That is a good point and quite accurate. Let me put a scent on you and see how it smells. Cheers Lu!!

Schmoop: Hee Hee...It does smell good on me doesn't it? Cheers and Zoves!!

Kat: Ha. Memories are nice, and for me they are almost always good. Insurance companies are a mess when it comes to the end consumer. Cheers and please...

When you get the thumb ring take a picture of yourself wearing it...preferably with nothing else on. Cheers Kat!!

Matt-Man said...

Bond: My mind has been working overtime. A little hodgepodge clears it all out. Cheers Vinny!!

Dianne said...

I don't own a baseball cap
My hair is too thick and won't stay in a ponytail - it escapes and then I look deranged
I put a ring on my thumb and now can't get it off
and my perfume is making me sneeze

oy! matty!!

Matt-Man said...

Dianne: First of all, let me lick all of the noxious perfume off, and then I'll put a little lube right there so I can get the ring off...Here, let me,...yeah, right there... Oh Shuddup!! So what if I'm greasin' up something other than your thumb, dammit? Oh Baby, Praise Jeebus!! Cheers Sexy!!

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Dude...I'm an Ohioan too. Be a good socialist and share the link wealth.

Desert Rat said...

Ooh! I've got a thumb ring AND glasses! I wear a pony tail only on me it looks more like a dead squirrel and there is just too much hair to get crammed through the back of a baseball hat.

I love the check taped on your forehead! Score!

Matt-Man said...

Fantasy: Dudette...My fellow Ohioan...It was just a stroke of good luck. If you'd like to share a different type of reward with me, just drive straight down 1-75 and hang a left when you get near Dayton. Cheers Meg!!

Desert Rat: Wow. You've got it all including my love for dead squirrels. I hate squirrels. Speaking of scoring...Are you game? Cheers!!

Andy said...

Matt, I'd like to write more but the bus is here from my former insurance company to take me to the rally. They are giving us vouchers from asprin, lolly pops, stupid sticks to hit ourselves, and a signed picture of Sean Hannity. Why change? Andy

Matt-Man said...

Andy: Ha...You need to guest post sometime. Don't hurt yourself with the stupid stick. Better yet, do so, and you'll fit right in if you guest post. Cheers Andy!!