Hodgepodge and Health Care Protestors

I’m feeling nervous…not necessarily a bad, doom-ridden nervous, but rather more of an anxious feeling.

That sensation is preventing me from focusing on any one thing, so…

Today’s treatise is a bit of hodgepodge…an olio…a potpourri, a veritable vichyssoise of somewhat random thoughts.

This day in 1945 was not only the day the first A-Bomb was dropped but also the day that my mom and dad were married.

If they were still with us, they would be celebrating their 64th Wedding Anniversary today. But alas, they are celebrating this day in Heaven.

My mom is undoubtedly playing cards with her friends...Picture a dozen blue haired ladies engaged in a vicious card game to see who will walk away with the grand prize of a $3.50 pine scented candle bought at the check out line of the grocery store.

My dad? He is laying on a long, heavenly couch watching re-runs of Mr. Ed, Hogan’s Heroes, or The Andy Griffith Show.

And in heaven, my dad is happy because they don’t show the Andy Griffith episodes in which the main story revolves around Opie or Aunt Bee. Oh, how he loathed those particular episodes.

I have no idea why, but the following things turn me on when worn by a woman:

A pony tail, especially when it sticks out of the back of a baseball cap. Thumb rings, no idea why. Ankle bracelets. Schmoop has one.

It’s quite plain, but seeing her wearing it, makes me hot. Glasses…A chick in glasses makes me weak in the knees. Schmoop should wear hers more.

A lady came through the Beer Mine last night. She was kinda cute but it was the perfume she was wearing that caught my attention. I wanted to ask her what it was so I could get some for Schmoop.

I didn’t ask her because I figured she would think that I was coming on to her and/or was some kind of creep. I think it’s sad that I had to even consider that scenario, but society has made people uptight.

See that picture of me?

On my forehead is a check that I just received from a company for embedding a link to their company within my June 10th post about the guy in Ohio who was arrested for parading around in a woman’s swimsuit.

It’s not a big check, but I thought it was cool.

They sought me out because they liked my writing. It was out of the blue and I initiated nothing. I can dig that. 10-20 of those a month and Schmoop and I would be quite happy.

I’m hanging out with Ryno this morning. We may drive some golf balls, hit the batting cages, or fish.

Whatever we do, I’ll have to feed the boy, and I may spring for Taco Bell for Schmoop and I tonight. Man, that aforementioned check went quickly.

Lastly…

A word from me to all of the Town Hall Meeting Health Care protestors. Quit being loud-mouthed assholes. You come off as senseless morons.

If you want to debate government health care, learn what proposals are out there and debate them on the merits.

Or, if you want to protest with the volume turned up, could you be funny about it? I like creative humor. I’m a propagandist for gods sakes, and like the protestors I have seen, not a policy wonk.

In fact, when government types are discussing health care or environmental policies and proposals, my eyes glaze over and I begin to drool white spittle from the corners of my mouth. You know, like Larry King does every night.

I beg of all of you Anti-Government Health Care Town Hall Meeting Maniacs, either be smart or be funny…but please, take your dunce cap off, quit shouting and start showing a modicum of respect for others, and by all means…

Since many of you wacky protestors I have seen appear to be getting along in age, make sure to write your representative and tell him/her you no longer want to receive Medicare, VA care, or the electro-shock therapy you so desperately need.

Cheers!!