I have a bit of Hump Day Hodgepodge for you all today. Shall we begin? Great…
If you read Bagwine Ruminations yesterday you are aware that I talked about the residents of Englewood, New Jersey being none too pleased that Muammar Qaddafi may hold a soiree on the Libyan estate located there next month when he comes to address the United Nations.
Karen of, Smiling Through It All, suggested in her comment to me that since she lives near Englewood, she could tell Qaddafi through Mayor Wildes that he is welcome at The House of Bagwine and that he should pay me a visit.
I thought about her comment for a second, and then said to myself:
“Damn right he’s welcome here. I’d dig the chance to meet him and his cadre of sexy, female bodyguards.”
So ladies and gentlemen…I fired off an e-mail to the Libyan Mission office at the UN. What follows is a copy of said e-mail:
Dear Diplomatic Corps of Libya,
I have read that your Leader Muammar Qaddafi will be in the U.S.A. next month to address the U.N. General Assembly.
I have also read that many people in the State of New Jersey are complaining that he may want to entertain guests at the property that the Libyan Government owns in Englewood, N. J.
I am offering you the opportunity to visit my apartment in Ohio. If you want to see how a typical American couple lives, you are more than welcome to stop by our place and stay awhile. I'll even cook for you and your bodyguards. Purrrrrr.
I have even dedicated my daily article to the ghastly non-welcome you are receiving from the residents of New Jersey. Here's the link:
If you are interested in familiarizing yourselves with "typical" Americans and being welcome at the same time, please let me know, and we'll set something up. It would be an honor and a pleasure.
I hope that you and your folks are enjoying your Ramadan season, and please let me know if we can make this visit happen.
xxx.xxx.xxxx (phone number)
I haven’t heard back from them yet, but I hope to soon. Thanks for the idea Karen. I’ll get you an autographed picture of Muammar should he take me up on my invitation.
If you’d like to help me in my quest to bring Qaddafi to my home, you can e-mail the UN Mission of Libya at the following address: firstname.lastname@example.org
Tell them Matt-Man is a helluva guy and a great host. Thank You.
Next item…I just found out a couple of days ago that over the last few months, that the Chicago Sun-Times has published 11 of my posts on their website. Cool, no?
The most recent one was my Palin Picnic post. Here is the link to it as it appears on the Sun-Times website: CLICK HERE
As a demonstration of how sarcasm and sardonic wit runs in the family let me share something with you. I sent an e-mail to one of my brothers telling him about my posts appearing on the Chicago Sun-Times website.
This particular brother is a journalist by trade and had been an editor and reporter for a major newspaper for years. I thought he’d appreciate knowing this fact. His response in typical family fashion was the following:
This sez something about the state of today’s newspapers: Resorting to Bagwine to pump up circulation. But who knows? It may be the answer to the industry’s ills.
Ha…Our family is so warm, so caring, so god damn funny. His response made my day; thanks bro.
It’s almost football season folks and you know what that means? The Jay-Man has created a Fantasy Football League again this year.
I played for the first time last year and it was fun because Jay makes it easy to play.
Well, our draft is coming up Thursday so I am going to be spending today and tonight after work ranking players so I can try to draft who I want.
Last year my team did pretty well.
They had a good name too. They were called the Bagwine Boners.
This year? Based on a suggestion from my son Ryan, this year’s team has a new, more fearsome moniker. What is it, you ask?
The Jonas Brothers!! Go Team; Fight Team; Winnnnnnnn Team!!
Speaking of Ryno…He is now officially a High School Freshman. He began school yesterday, and of course, before I took him to school I had to have him pose for a picture…
I guess he hasn’t discovered what a blow dryer is yet. Good Luck to Him, and to all of you…
Have a wonderful Hump Day.