Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Glenn Beck Is An Asshole, But He Is Not Who He Appears To Be

I announced back on September 15th the founding of a new political movement called, “The Speleology Coalition”.

It is a coalition of people who politically, are open to new ideas, think for themselves, and are not right or left wing psychopaths.

In my announcement, I discussed Plato’s, Analogy of the Cave.

I talked about how folks who watch, listen, and nod in blind agreement with the likes of Keith Olbermann and Glenn Beck are merely watching shadows on a wall and accepting them as real.

When I wrote that, my mind kept going back to Glenn Beck and what an asshole he is. I knew that he reminded me of someone from the past with whom I was familiar.

However, I couldn’t quite put my finger on who it was. It’s been driving me crazy.

Here’s this guy, Glenn Beck who can emote with tears at the drop of a hat…who can then shut off the waterworks and go on a tirade against non-existent threats to our nation.

Beck will then look into the camera with his empty eyes and speak directly to his legion of Beck-Tards, by channeling and often misquoting Jefferson, Madison, other Founding Fathers, and sometimes even God Almighty.


He is now calling for a day of Prayer and Fasting during Yom Kippur in order to save our Republic. Ha...Like Glenn Beck is going to be able to fast for a day. Freak.

He’s an amalgam of paranoid goof, carnival barker, fear monger, and ratings whore. Most of all, he is simplistic and loose with oh so many facts.

But hey, Beck-Tards don’t mind, even when he calls President Obama a racist. Beck-Tards simply clench their fists and yell: “Damn Right Glenn, Off with his Head!!”

Beck will incite his considerable audience with intellectual gems such as, “President Obama is addicting this country to heroin---the heroin that is government slavery.” Or this one…

“The president has an agenda that is radical, revolutionary, and in some cases, MARXIST!!”

I was still trying to put my finger on the person of whom Beck reminded me, and then, yesterday morning, the clouds blocking my recollection began to part.

I had partially figured it out. He reminded me of a game show host. But which one, I thought.

Bob Barker? Alex Trebek? Or my favorite, Wink Martindale? No, none of those fit the in your face lunacy of Beck, nor do they have that burning hate and fear.

I was trying to think, and then in my head, I could hear the voice of the game show host I was trying to recall saying things like, “You Bastard. Drop Dead!!”…and,
“Who loves you, and who do you love?”

And then, the quote that jarred my memory like a juggernaut, fired up my synapses, and involuntarily left my brain, came out of my mouth:

“Hello, this is Killian. Give me the Justice Department, Entertainment Division.” And it hit me…

Holy Cow…Glenn Beck is Damon Killian!!

Damon Killian was the game show host character that Richard Dawson played in the Schwarzeneggar movie, The Running Man.

Killian and Beck are cut from the same oil cloth. They both play upon fear and the worst and basest instincts of people. And it doesn’t matter to them, only the ratings do.

As Killian said, and I can hear it coming from Beck’s mouth as well:

“This is television, that's all it is. It has nothing to do with people, it's to do with ratings!!”

Hey Beck…I’ll Be Back, and one other thing. Suck It!!

Cheers!!

*For those of you interested, Jay-Man has written a brilliantly funny post that offers advice to my slacker son. You can click HERE to read it. Thanks Jay!!


*Holy Crap, one other thing...My nephew and his wife, Jamie, are in California today. She made it on to Jeopardy and they are taping today. The show will air the week of October 19th. Wish her Luck!!

23 comments:

Scott Oglesby said...

While it’s a great comparison based on both of their psychopathic drive for ratings, I would also have to draw a comparison with Chuck Barris, as I truly believe that Beck is legitimately insane/delusional as well. I mean in 15 years would anybody really be surprised if Beck came out with the, “Ooh, I’m an assassin for the CIA?” Or even, “I’m an alien with ray gun eyes; don’t make me kill you by crying?” That wouldn’t really shock me at all.

Congrats to your nephew’s wife, I hope she wins…repeatedly! Any chance of uploading it?

Matt-Man said...

Scott: Don't be dissin' Chuck Barris by comparing him to Beck. That's just wrong, Scott.

I'll look into the upload but like I said it is not airing until October. I'll let ya know, though. Cheers Scott!!

Dianne said...

good luck Jamie!

that photo of Beck all red and weepy and sweaty is truly sickening Matty - good work

he is a foul little man

I keep thinking of the wonderful Moynihan quote - "You are entitled to your opinion, you're not entitled to the facts"

Matt-Man said...

Dianne: He is foul but, he knows exactly what he's doing. Funny thing is, his audience thinks he really cares more about them and the country than he does his ratings. Morons...

Thanks for passing on the words of luck. Cheers Sexy!!

Micky-T said...

shhhh......I say this this with blinding LOVE.....

I have beck-tards visiting....shhhh.

Matt-Man said...

Micky: Oh My...My heart and thoughts go out to you Mick. Cheers!!

David said...

What I want to know is how did you get access to Beck's Glamour Shots portfolio for all these pics?

Cheers

Matt-Man said...

David: I shouldn't tell you this but...

I am one of Obama's mind-controlled Communist puppets so I have access to Beck's dossier. Cheers David!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...loooooves me some Jeopardy...

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: I do too, but I never get to watch it anymore, Dammit. Cheers P-Man!!

Bond said...

I would love to get a shot at Jeopardy.

I don't watch that other crap you speak of...I have a brain and want to keep it.

Matt-Man said...

Bond: I diiiig Jeopardy. As for the shows I mentioned?

I watch them all. Maddow, Hannity, Olbermann, O'Reilly, and Beck...I like to listen to differing points of view. No matter how crazy they may be.

I have faith in my ability to sift through the chaff and get to the grain. Doing that keeps the mind nimble. Listening to people with whom I agree with only kinda sets the mind in concrete. Cheers Vin!!

Jay said...

I like the Beck - Killian comparison. I also loved "Running Man." Mostly because that wast the first time I ever saw Maria Conchita Alonzo. She's freaking hawt!

These people being suckered in by Beck are really sad, desperate people. Which is what makes people like Beck even more despicable. He knows that he is preying on weak, easily duped people just to make money.

But, then again, I would like to do the same thing sometimes. LOL ;-)

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Oh Yeahhhh, she looked hot. And I think the comparison is not to far off.

Beck is a puke. A charlatan. A guy who figured out that a large portion of people just love to be mad and feel that everyone is out to get them. I hope he suffers the same fate as Damon Killian. Cheers Jay!!

Scott from Oregon said...

""I watch them all. Maddow, Hannity, Olbermann, O'Reilly, and Beck...I like to listen to differing points of view. No matter how crazy they may be.""

You must like the WWW too then.

I tried to explain to my 74 year old Mum that all of these shows are set up like the wrestling shows so you'll pick a "team" and have a common enemy.

Not one of these show reports "the news" and all are a waste of brain space, unless you enjoy spending your time dismantling really stupid arguments presented for or against whatever the tidbit of the moment is...

I ask ya. Do you REALLY think Bill O and Keith O hate each other? Really?

Matt-Man said...

Scott: First of all, I thank you for commenting but I must say...

You're missing my point. I watch these shows in order to see how other people think. You can discard these idiots, but they say what is on the minds of more than a small minority of people.

Why would you or any other person ignore what the "argument" consists of to other people? Cheers Scott!!

Micky-T said...

You got that right Matt...

A lot of people just like to be mad at something all the time.

That's why Savage, Limp Bah and Beck Head have shows.

Matt-Man said...

Micky: And you couldn't be closer to the truth. Cheers Mick!!

VE said...

You know what's great? I don't even know who this guy is. Not at all. Man, ignorance is bliss....

Lu' said...

What a trip I was trying to think, and then in my head, I could hear the voice of the game show host I was trying to recall saying things like, “You Bastard. Drop Dead!!”…and, “Who loves you, and who do you love?” I didn't know who you were refering to when you wrote this but the first person to come to my mind was richard Dawson, wow. Then when you pictured him and of course mentioned him...

Michele said...

JR says that Glenn Beck reminds him of Joe Pyne. A bombastic son-of-a-bitch.

katherine. said...

yeah...Beck is vaudeville act.

totally cool about your niece-in-law...remind us...I'll watch!

Matt-Man said...

Lu: Oooooo Weeeee Ooooooo. We had a connection, baby!! Cheers Lu!!

Michele: Ha...Well there is that. Cheers Michele!!

Kat: He is just that, and yes indeed, I'll keep your breast...er, I mean keep you abreast. Cheers Kat!!