Today…I have a void in my life.
I am floating within an emotional chasm. My heart and soul are empty.
Today is Thursday, my day off. A day on which I typically hang out with Schmoop. Alas, Schmoop’s boss is having her work five days this week.
That is a good change of events monetarily, but it has left me sullen, sad, and alone.
I am taking her to work this morning, carting Ryno off to school, but from 8:15 until 3:00 when I pick him up, I will be pacing and moping aimlessly through the Bagwine digs.
I’ll be all dressed up, and have no one to get undressed with. My world has been knocked off its axis.
I could ring up Kanye West and see if he’d like to hang for awhile.
As I live across from a hospital, we could sit on the porch of the apartment building and make fun of the people going in and out of the Emergency Room.
Kanye could shout, “Hey Bitch!! You call that a fracture? I’ll give ya a fracture!!” Eh, that would be fun for awhile, but I can see him getting on my nerves.
Having my past connections with SEIU, I could call the ACORN office in Columbus and ask if they could send me some underage El Salvadoran prostitutes.
That’s not a good idea either…I mean, young chicks who have grown up subsisting on fetid water, sorghum, and dirt during their formative years, can’t be very attractive, nor very well-built.
I could call up these two nut jobs and see if they’d like to party with me during my emotional exile…
I guess I am just looking for a friend for a few hours. Would any of you like to be my special friend?
If you stop by, I’ll make lunch for you. We could chat, laugh, and just hang out. I don’t bite. I am actually a pretty nice guy.
If you’d like to be Matt-Man’s friend today, drop him a line. Matt-Man is very sad, and when Matt-Man is sad, he begins to talk in a self-absorbed third person kinda way.
Do you really want that? I know that Matt-Man doesn’t. Matt-Man finds it annoying as well.
Call, stop by, or email Matt-Man and make my first person sadness and his third person madness stop.
Matt-Man is counting on you.
Addendum: As I was typing this, I read that Mary Travers of Peter, Paul, and Mary has passed away from leukemia at the age of 72.
As a lover of folk music in general, and Peter, Paul and Mary in particular, I am saddened.
I saw Peter, Paul, and Mary in concert in 1992, and they were fantastic.
If you are going to be my special friend and drop by today, expect to hear P,P and M music bouncing off of the walls as we chat.
Here’s to Mary Travers…In death, may she find the peace and harmony that she sang about during her life.