Thursday, September 17, 2009

Kanye West, ACORN, and Mary Travers...They All Leave Me Lonely

Today…I have a void in my life.

I am floating within an emotional chasm. My heart and soul are empty.

Today is Thursday, my day off. A day on which I typically hang out with Schmoop. Alas, Schmoop’s boss is having her work five days this week.

That is a good change of events monetarily, but it has left me sullen, sad, and alone.

I am taking her to work this morning, carting Ryno off to school, but from 8:15 until 3:00 when I pick him up, I will be pacing and moping aimlessly through the Bagwine digs.

I’ll be all dressed up, and have no one to get undressed with. My world has been knocked off its axis.

I could ring up Kanye West and see if he’d like to hang for awhile.


As I live across from a hospital, we could sit on the porch of the apartment building and make fun of the people going in and out of the Emergency Room.

Kanye could shout, “Hey Bitch!! You call that a fracture? I’ll give ya a fracture!!” Eh, that would be fun for awhile, but I can see him getting on my nerves.

Having my past connections with SEIU, I could call the ACORN office in Columbus and ask if they could send me some underage El Salvadoran prostitutes.

That’s not a good idea either…I mean, young chicks who have grown up subsisting on fetid water, sorghum, and dirt during their formative years, can’t be very attractive, nor very well-built.

I could call up these two nut jobs and see if they’d like to party with me during my emotional exile…

Ol’ Mick and Phfrankie look gangsta good in their Bagwine wear, don’t they? Not going to happen though…They’re too far away.

Heavy sigh…Heavy, Heavy sigh.

I guess I am just looking for a friend for a few hours. Would any of you like to be my special friend?

If you stop by, I’ll make lunch for you. We could chat, laugh, and just hang out. I don’t bite. I am actually a pretty nice guy.

If you’d like to be Matt-Man’s friend today, drop him a line. Matt-Man is very sad, and when Matt-Man is sad, he begins to talk in a self-absorbed third person kinda way.

Do you really want that? I know that Matt-Man doesn’t. Matt-Man finds it annoying as well.

Call, stop by, or email Matt-Man and make my first person sadness and his third person madness stop.

Matt-Man is counting on you.

Cheers!!

Addendum: As I was typing this, I read that Mary Travers of Peter, Paul, and Mary has passed away from leukemia at the age of 72.

As a lover of folk music in general, and Peter, Paul and Mary in particular, I am saddened.

I saw Peter, Paul, and Mary in concert in 1992, and they were fantastic.


If you are going to be my special friend and drop by today, expect to hear P,P and M music bouncing off of the walls as we chat.

Here’s to Mary Travers…In death, may she find the peace and harmony that she sang about during her life.


28 comments:

Desert Songbird said...

I think I live a bit far away to break bread with thou.

Matt-Man said...

Songbird: You could always channel your Buckeye State relatives. They're close enough. Cheers!!

Scott Oglesby said...

Alas, if I were even within flying distance I would visit you and we would have great adventures with wine, women, and wolves. Wait, I’m not Hemmingway. Ok since I’m obviously too far away for a social call, I thought I’d instead provide you with hours of entertainment and fun! The one website that I gave you for fundie Christians is a hoot. Just google RR BB and hit the top site that comes up. DO IT. The second site I bring up because you mentioned watching the fun abounding at the emergency room next to your place. It’s a student doctor forum, with a “What I learned from my patients category, and it will have you in stitches. http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=257985&page=12
I’ll be upset if you don’t at least have a peak. I love to share my found comedy. Enjoy!!!

katherine. said...

you could always frolic in the autumn mist in a land called honah lee...

Matt-Man said...

Scott: Why thank you. As soon as I get back from dropping Ryno off at school, I shall do just that. I appreciate the thought. Here's to wine, women, and wolves. Cheers Scott!!

Kat: Awwwww. Yes I could. I'll be playing that among the dozens of others today, Kat. Cheers!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...I was listenin' to PPM in '63 on my dad's Ampex reel to reel...God, I love the folk music from that era...

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: Man, I do too. PP&M, Pete Seeger, Arlo, Donovan, Gordon Lightfoot...Even today, I listen to that stuff as much as any other type of music. I think I was born 15 years later than I should have been. Cheers, you handsome man, you!!

Micky-T said...

I think I'll join that Matt guy and have a mopey, lonely, rainy day.

Matt-Man said...

Micky: You are such a giver Mick. Let the moping begin. Cheers!!

Candice said...

You should take a nap. Actually you should get drunk and then take a nap.

I would go and get drunk with you, but I'm about to go back to sleep. There is also the long commute that I don't feel like dealing with.

I'm sure you understand.

Matt-Man said...

Candice: That's good advice, and I understand that you can't make it up here...I don't like it, but I understand. Rats. Cheers Candice!!

David said...

If only I had known sooner about your abandonment today, I could have gotten one of those cheap airfares.

I'm curious to know where the Salvadorians get their fettered water (is it imported?) and where do they keep it locked up? Inquiring minds need to know.

I too raise a toast to Mary; her musical talent brought joy to many.

Dianne said...

if only I could sprout wings and fly to your side

I didn't realize Mary was 72! She's ageless in my mind
Peace, Mary

Matt-Man said...

David: I am listening to her and P and P sing Blowin' in the Wind as I type this. I so love her voice.

Wish you could have stopped. I would have made you Loosemeat Sandwiches. As for the fettered water?

I think they import it from Honduras. I hear that Honduras has the Perrier of fettered water. Cheers David!!

Matt-Man said...

Dianne: And...in her day, before her health problems, she was smokin' hot as well as talented. Purrrrrr. I know you can't make it but there's always phone sex. Cheers Di!!

katherine. said...

Are you hammer-ed in the mor-orrr-ning?

Matt-Man said...

Kat: I would be, but since I have to pick Ryno up later, I must show some discipline and remain under the legal and acting like an asshole limits. Cheers Kat!!

Jay said...

Well you could always do what I do when I'm bored and nobody is around. Just go downtown and knock around a few crackwhores. What? Is that not nice?

Of course Obama just announced that we are basically doing away with the Ronald Reagan Memorial Missile Defense System. You know, the one never actually built, but we've spent billions on anyway? So, you can go over to the right wing blogs and watch their heads asplode. ;-)

katherine. said...

I was still being lyrical...

what is the legal asshole limit in Ohin?

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Ha...You're always pretty damn funny, but when you used the word "asplode", I fell in love with you all over again. Ha. I love when people say that. Cheers Jay!!

Matt-Man said...

Kat: .08 is the legal alcohol limit, but judging by the people 'round here, I don't think there is any statutory restraints on being an asshole. Cheers Hot Stuff!!

Lu' said...

Matt-Man I wonder if you know how rare that pic is of the P-Man. He does not typically wear t-shirts. That's right folks he is a non T-shirt wearing guy EXCEPT for the rare occasion when a Bagwine T-shirt presents its self and in his favorite color too.

Matt-Man said...

Lu: Ha. Maybe God was speaking to me when I picked the color out for the shirt. P-Man, You, Dice, and your family are the best. Here's to ya. Cheers Lu!!

Dana said...

Ummm ... I was considering it until that whole third person conversation. Images of sharing your juicy brat were quickly replaced by ... well ... something else ...

Matt-Man said...

Dana: Whadda ya mean? You're not up for Matt-Man's Brat? Matt-Man is hurt. Cheers says the Matt-Man!!

Michele said...

Sorry, I couldn't spend the day with you today. It sounds like you needed a friend or Prozac with a beer chaser.

Starrlight said...

Dude, you gotta learn to LOVE your alone time. I doubt I could live with someone full time anymore.

Mary was as lovely as her voice. She always seemed so down to earth and funny.

And just for you, you must check out this link

http://kanyelicio.us

Add any url behind this and you will have a winner. I like this one

http://kanyelicio.us/http://www.kkk.com/

Matt-Man said...

Michele: I skipped the Prozac but had plenty of beer. Cheers Michele!!

Starr: I managed to muddle through. Thanks for the links buddy. Cheers!!