Sunday, September 20, 2009

Values Voter Summit: Mike Huckabee Wins Straw Poll, and America Wins Back God

It’s going to be a dreary, rainy Sabbath in Bagwine, Ohio today. However…

While I am working in the Beer Mine from 11-7 on this glum, gray day, there will still be a ray of sunshine shining in my heart.

As today is the day of our Lord, it only makes sense that I announce that yesterday, Mike Huckabee topped the straw poll conducted at the Values Voter Summit sponsored by the Family Research Council.

Two words in response to that result: Praise Jeebus!!

Roughly 600 Conservative attendees at the Values Voter Summit voted as to who they would like to see as President in 2012, and my favorite Man of God, Mike Huckabee far outpolled the others, with a total of 28%.

Who did the Huckster beat at this Right Wing Love-Fest put on by Tony “Psycho” Perkins of the Family Research Council?

Mitt Romney came in a distant second…not bad at this venue considering he’s a pantry stuffing Mormon.

Romney was followed by Gov. Tim “From the Land of 10,000,000 Mosquitoes” Pawlenty, Former Alaska Governor, Sarah “My Daughter is a Harlot” Palin, and Rep. Mike “He’s From Indiana for God’s Sake. Indiana!!” Pence.

Now my man Huckabee wasn’t up against a very impressive or Godly group, but the Light of the Lord shone in the final results.

I think these results confirm what former Florida Secretary of State and intellectual vixen Katherine Harris said lo those years ago: “God Chooses Our Leaders.”

Bless You, Katherine Harris…Bless You and Show Me Your Breastesses. Mmmmmmmm.

Anyhoo…On this glorious Sunday, I want to give glory to GAWD and to The Huckster. If Huckabee can build on this win and become our President in 2012, it will be as if Jesus Christ has returned to Earth.

And who doesn’t want Jeebus to return? I mean, other than Christ Killin’ Jews, Dirty Muslims, Atheists, and most folks who say that they are Christians. No one…that’s who.

One bit of advice Huck…If you want to once again be on the National stage and help to save our Godless nation, you might want to get back into shape.

You dropped a lot of weight before, but man judging by what I have seen of you on TV lately, you’ve been going back for second and third servings of Manna from Heaven, dude.

Doing God’s work, is hard work…I, in fact all of us seeking national redemption, need you to be in the best shape of your life for this run.

Amen, and Amen…

Have a wonderful Sabbath all. Mine will be filled with providing essential public services to beer drinkers, and then helping my son study for some tests.

I am so damn selfless…Just like Mike.



Lu' said...

Mornin Matt-Man. Too bad for your sucky weather here our should be another glorious day. Yesterday was damn near perfect weather for Autumn Fest. I shall be attending a baby shower. One that was to have taken place two weeks ago but didn't...

Matt-Man said...

Lu: Hiya Lu. I can't complain; we've had a stretch of near perfect weather for a week or so. Have a wunnerful time at the shower, my friend. Cheers Lu!!

David said...

That must have been a fun time at the value voters summit. Tony Perkins can reel in the stars of the extremes.

My gay friends are all abuzz about the wackadoodle Maggie Gallagher and the bimbo Carrie Prejean and their distasteful gloating about California's Prop 8.

Gonna be a beautiful sunny fall day here in DC. Another good chance to take the old convertible out for a spin.

Wishing you much success with Ryno's test prep. I suspect I would be learning as much myself as I was "teaching" if I was in your role.


Matt-Man said...

David: You are correct...I learn something about him everytime we study together.

I wonder if any of the attendees who had undoubtedly been sneaking drinks in their hotel rooms ended up hitting on the uber-Cosmeticized Carrie Prejean. Cheers David!!

Jay said...

You know, I think I'm gonna try to find out how to attend this shindig next year. Wait, a "shindig" usually has dancing doesn't it? I bet dancing is against the rules for those folks. Cause dancing leads to sex, and sex is bad.

Anyway, the only reason I want to go is to see if I can get busy with Michelle Malkin. I'll take pics if I do. ;-)

Scott Oglesby said...

I’m loving the nicknames! Well, as much as I despise the right wing born againsters, there could be worse than Huckabee. I mean he doesn’t seem as reprehensible as most of them. He seemed almost normal on Colbert, but that’s almost all I’ve seen. In my opinion that shit is done and over with though. I don’t think we’ll get another bible thumper for many, many years yet to come. At least one can pray!

Matt-Man said...

Jay: If you get busy with Malkin, please...keep the pictures to yourself. Cheers Jay!!

Scott: One can hope alright. He seems like a decent guy but I sure as hell wouldn't want him to be President. Plus...I've noted that Mr. Decent Guy has begun to pander like most. Cheers Scott!!