Saturday, December 19, 2009

Working Through the White Death and the Weekend

Oh my God. The White Death is currently crippling the Bagwine area. We must have at least ¼ inch of snow on the ground.

And the roads? Well, at 32 degrees our roads are very, very, very…um…wet. You know, like it rained or something.

But as some of the preeminent freaks in the world reside in Bagwine, drivers ’round here will freak out and cause wrecks left and right.

Oh well, as long as I safely make the three minute drive to work today I will be a happy man. Did Matt-Man say “work”, you ask?

Yes ladies and gentlemen, I will be working ALL day today. 11 A.M.-9 P.M. And that’s not all, no sir-ree-bob.

I am working 11 A.M.-7 P.M. tomorrow. Holy Moly, I will be spending the entire weekend de-thristifying and selling smokes to stressed out last minute holiday shoppers.

I wouldn’t have it any other way. I feel like the Santa Claus of the Beer and Cigarette world. Ho, Ho, Ho, burp, hack.

Schmoop picked up some candy canes for me so that I can pass them out to all of the hot babes that come through this weekend. I have approximately 40 candy canes, which means…

After I pass out canes to all of the really hot babes that come through our Drive-Thru, when I am done working the weekend, I will still have 36 candy canes to put on our tree at home.

Wish me if you will, a quiet, tip laden, moron free 18 hour weekend stint at the Beer Mine. I thank you in advance.

I went to Ryno’s basketball game last night. Oy Vay!! His school, which is a small private school, stepped up in competition this year by joining a conference that has some Division III and IV High School powers.

Well my friends…Last night, it showed…and showed…and showed.

Many people would call the game last night, “a character builder”. Ryan’s team got brutalized and posterized by a score of 62-18. The ugliness of the final score was matched only by the play of Ryno and his teammates.

The varsity team fared little better, losing 71-41. Oh well…live, learn, and get better.


Here’s to my nephew Kevin. Kevin will be graduating from Eastern Illinois University today. Congratulations to the big guy and to his dad (my brother Denny), who did a fine job raising him and Kev's brother and sister.

Have a wonderful weekend all. I’ll pop in when I can, provided some non-driving mo-fo doesn’t crash into the Beer Mine on the ¼ inch of snow.



Lu' said...

Snow here too baybay but I'm home warm and cozy, not like I'm rubbing it in or anything. Have a trouble free tip filled day; I so wish it so shall it be done :)

Matt-Man said...

Lu: At least the temps won't be brutal this weekend, so work will be bearable. Must get in the shower now. Wanna join me? We can wash your corns. Cheers Lu!!

Jay said...

It's 32 degrees with snow falling?? OMG! Time to panic! AHHHHHHHH!!

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Bring me some canned goods and non-perishable food items!! Post Haste!! Cheers Jay!!

Jeff B said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jeff B said...

Maybe a well placed call to the Joint Chiefs and Obama could deploy the National Guard to Bagwine to restore order in the wake of the inevitable chaos.

Four Dinners said...

roads are like ice over in in't south of England. Great for skidding around corners.

An old man walked out in front of me today. No idea how I didn't hit him.

I can see my insurance claim now...

'I saw a slow moving sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car'....;-)

Happy working weekend old bean!

David said...


The newest addition to my vocabulary. My education at the proverbial knee of the master never seems to end. (notice how I avoided your literal knee in case someone might misinterpret our relationship). I could however suggest that in the spirit of gender equality, you could throw one or two of those candy canes at the hot male porn stars driving though. Wait just a minute - how do you know they are porn stars?

Oh poor Ryno...losing by scores like that is dreadful. Hopefully he will take it in stride.

Here in DC we have at least a foot of snow everywhere and you would think it is a nuclear holocaust.

Dianne said...

1/4 inch!! good lord, is the national guard coming!!?

it flurried here this morning and nothing since although they keep breaking in to tell us it's a blizzard
I'm very confused

3 Men and a Lady said...

We've had rain, then snow, then rain, then snow all day. It's basically just shitty out.

Matt-Man said...

Jeff: The threat is over. Miraculously, we made it through. Cheers Jeff!!

Four: There's nothing cuter than the sight of an old person bouncing off of the hood of the car. Cheers FD!!

David: Ryno was pissed for awhile but he's fine now. Enjoy your Winter Wonderland you lucky bastard. I love the snow. Cheers David!!

Matt-Man said...

Dianne: So? Did you get some? Snow that is. Cheers Di!!

Lady: It's gloomy here too. I'd rather have a snowstorm than plain old cold and gray. Cheers D!!

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