Friday, February 12, 2010

Happy Valentine's Day From Matt-Man

In case you haven’t noticed, all this week I have been talking about love.

Even within Tuesday’s three legged race post with Stephen Hawking , I mentioned having sex with Bristol Palin so that counts as a love post too.

I’ve been building up to Valentine’s Day all week…ack ack…not a big fan. Don’t get me wrong…

I think people showing their love for one and other is a good thing, but V-Day much like wedding anniversaries, has become a time to berate “stupid” men into buying over priced crap for their wife or girlfriend.

But, I wanted to take this Friday before Valentine’s Day to say something to you all.

I love you, one and all…and yes, I mean that.

When I was in the hospital four months ago, I got over 100 emails from you guys.

The 88 year old man who brought the emails in everyday always chuckled and thought I was some kind of rock star. The look on his face was the highlight of my stay.

I received more than a few phone calls as well. And let me tell ya…When you’re in the hospital and all you can do is watch is FOX News, a phone call is quite well received.

So…

I just want to take this Friday to say Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you loveable nut jobs. In addition to Schmoop and Ryno, you all make my life worth a damn.

I may be one sarcastic, sometimes son of a bitch, occasionally over the top asshole, but I love all you guys. And, in spite of all my faults, love and loyalty are two of my few virtues.

With all of the stupid, man-hating ads that will be shown between now and Sunday, I wanted to tell you all that there isn’t one regular Bagwine commenter to whom I wouldn’t give all I had.

The shirt off my back…my last ort of food…my last penny. Our door is always open for any and all of your simple asses.

I figure that smart, sarcastic, and uber-hot mother fuckers like us need to stick together in this day and age of non-thinking, tea bagging, Sarah Palin would make a good President, kinda times.

Anyhoo…To all of you:

I want to wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day and with it, the love that comes along with it. I do love you guys.

I will always have your back. I will always wish the best for you. I will always appreciate your friendship.

With that being said…I have to post a poem that my dad wrote for my mom in his book Credo, and that I could easily, and do, dedicate to Schmoop as well...


To Mary Anne

Come take my hand and walk with me,
the pilgrim paths that used to be.

When each new day was bright and bold,
and all our dreams were cast in gold.

On stepping stones, we'd ford the brook
with clear, white wine and one good book.

My knowing heart would follow there,
your mud-caked shoes and wind-blown hair.

But now the paths are washed away;
the stream's entombed in tiles of clay.

Love's old sweet songs have all been sung;
the world's grown old, but we've stayed young.

We'll find new paths, somehow, somewhere;
you seek them out, I'll follow there.

Have a wunnerful V-Day weekend all, and as always...

Cheers!!

41 comments:

MysteryChick said...

And we love you Matt-Man for making us laugh, making us cry and mostly making us think!

What beautiful poetry your Dad wrote and what a wonderful gift it is that his writing talent passed down to you.

Happy Valentines Day!

Matt-Man said...

Mystery: I liked that you said that I make you think...That means more to me than the laughing part. Thanks Chick and Happy Valentine's Day to you. I dig ya. Cheers!!

3 Men and a Lady said...

I amazed by how some talented people can write a poem and make it something of literary quality, rhyme , AND make sense. Very cool. Talented guy, your dad. I made up a 2nd verse to "Itsy Bitsy Spider" for my baby who LOVES that song. It's ridiculous, but he loves it, lol. But I am no poet for sure.

Thanks for the Valentine's wish, you big softy! LOL Have a great night :-)

Matt-Man said...

Lady: He wasn't a big rhymer nor am I, but this poem does, as you said, make sense. And yes, if you asked Schmoop, she would tell you I am not only a big softy, I cry...alot. Cheers D!!

Jay said...

Awww ... *sniff, sniff*

What a sweet post.

I love you too man!

IthinkIhavesomethinginmyeye

Matt-Man said...

Jay: I sensed some sarcasm in that comment...I repudiate you!! Or is that rebuke you? What the hell am I supposed to do to you? Could you help me out here, dammit? Cheers Jay!!

Simstone said...

I don't know what to say except my next shot of whiskey and slice of cheese is to you.

Matt-Man said...

Sims: Well have at it Sims. Cheers to ya!!

Mike said...

'“stupid” men'

I thought I was being smart. Like a stay out of trouble kinda smart.

Micky-T said...

Oh For Crying Out Loud!!!!!!!

Desert Rat said...

What a lovely post. Your father was a gifted writer, as are you, m'dear. I couldn't help but notice the last line, however: "you seek them out, I'll follow there." Just like a dude - probably sitting on the couch with the remote yelling into the next room, "You find a good path yet, sweetie? It's almost half time! Don't forget the beer, the chips, and your walker - we don't want a repeat of that last path incident!"

Candice said...

I would have totally cried reading this post if I weren't on so much prozac...

Happy VD day. I mean Valentines Day!

Scott Oglesby said...

First the post almost made me cry, and then the poem almost made me cry. Now I’m going to have to walk around on eggshells so as to not humiliate myself by breaking down when I see a sale on Peanut butter.

That was a beautiful post buddy, and your dad’s poem was amazing. I’m going to share it with my wife when she returns from London!

I love you too Matt!

Doc said...

Happy Valentines Day Matt-Man... May peace, love, and oral sex warm your heart on this day.

Four Dinners said...

Well chuffed to have discovered you old bean.

Have a great V Day both of you!

In Ann Arbor, Michigan August this year. A bit far for you?

Matt-Man said...

Mike: Well, that's a wise thing to do too. Cheers Mike!!

Micky: Hee Hee. You don't appreciate my softer, feminine side? Cheers Mick!!

Rat: Ha. That was very good dear, but you forgot to throw the Irish Whiskey in there. Cheers Rat!!

Matt-Man said...

Candice: Have you ever mixed Prozac with cocaine and vodka? Holy Shit is that ever good. Cheers Candice!!

Scott: Recite it to your wife while naked. I love you too, you rugged, Errol Flynn kinda guy you. Cheers Scott!!

Doc: I hope Schmoop reads your comment and takes it to heart. Thanks Doc, and Cheers!!

Matt-Man said...

Four: You mentioned that before and no, Ann Arbor is not an incredibly long drive. Keep me posted, and by the way...Schmoop really digs ya. Cheers FD!!

Dianne said...

Now this is the kind of Valentines message I can wrap myself around!
genuine and funny
just like you

you're my VD man all year long Matty ;)

Irene said...

Great poem.Aww Matt your post made me feel special love you too.It kinda makes me sick seeing all the dopey men buying the flowers and candy on the 14th it just seems so fake to me and just what kind of women enjoy this,gives me the creeps.Here's to genuine love expressed whenever and yes you are right us uber-hot mother fuckers need to stick together.lol

Bond said...

Kiss me ya big lug

The Covert Lover said...

I always love posts of your dad's writing... not that your writing isn't absolutley amazing! :)

Happy Valentine's Day to y'all both. Hope you have a better weekend than I. My pre-teen is having a V-Day slumber party tomorrow... can you say nightmare? lol

Matt-Man said...

Dianne: Get naked baby. I'm headed to your place with a car load of Bagwine, Olive Oil, and Penicillin. Cheers Sexy!!

Irene: Ha. Schmoop used to go to the grocery on Sweetest Day to watch morons snatch up tacky presents for their woman. Love when you comment hot stuff. Cheers Irene!!

Bond: You are so straight forward. God I love that. Cheers Vinny!!

Matt-Man said...

Covert: Same to ya Lover. Hey, are they pre-teen girls? If so, I'd be happy to come over and um..."supervise". Cheers and Good Luck Sexy!!

RobinF said...

Matt, VD is typically a very hard time for me. I am bombarded every year about the fact I am not in any sort of romantic relationship. Makes me feel very dysfunctional. That being said, thanks for the joy you bring me. Thank you for being in my life and ty for loving me. And yes... once again I have bawled all through this post. Your father's poetry is lovely and Schmoop is a lucky woman. I love you Matt!

Matt-Man said...

Robin: Well, I'm sorry to hear about all that, but you and everyone should keep something in mind...

Love doesn't have to be a relationship that involves "romance" or sex...Love is a deep and profound feeling for another. Like the love I feel when my son laughs, or sharing a laugh making fun of FOX News with Schmoop, or the mutual respect two people have for each other.

I'm sure there are people you have in your life that are like that. Cheers Robin!!

Lizza said...

OMG, how I've missed your wonderful posts. Glad to see you are still just as funny -- and just as lovable. My love to you too, Matt! I know you and Schmoop will have an out-of-this-world Valentine's Day. But then, every day in the House of Bagwine is probably an out-of-this-world experience.

P.S. I won't take the shirt off your back -- a peek at your ass will suffice. ;-) Cheers!

Matt-Man said...

Lizza: Ha...Always a pleasure to see you, you vixen, you. All of my love right back at you my friend. I have always appreciated you reading me when no one else did. You're the best and I hope all is well. Cheers Lizza!!

Schmoop said...

This post made me think. You're right, we all do need to stick together, have each other's back. I've put a lot of things into perspective today after hearing some news this morning. I'm going to be more positive, and love more. I love you babe!

Matt-Man said...

Schmoop: I know what you are talking about, I understand, and I love you too...even if you do leave marks on my body...Okay, especially because you do. Cheers and Zoooves, Schmoop!!

Jay said...

What? You doubt my sincerity? That hurts man. But, I still love you. ;-)

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Ha...Maybe I do doubt your sincerity in this instance but I never doubt the size of you rlove nor the size of the horns that regale your head. Cheers!

metalmom said...

I stopped by hoping that you'd have an ort of food. Instead I see this sappy shit and get all verklempt.

I love you too matt!

Matt-Man said...

Metal: Hee Hee...Did you want me to "un-verklempt" you, Chris? Cheers and Happy Valentine's Day Sexy!!

jme said...

happy v-day, matt-man. u crack me up on a semi-regular basis. oh hell, alright, on a regular basis.

Matt-Man said...

Jme: Well I'm always glad to help someone's Kegel's move. Laugh away. Cheers JME!!

Michele said...

Happy Valentines day to you and Schmoop.

We have as much interest in Valentines day as you do. This year JR will be working Valentines and I will be out of town for our anniversary.

I've said it before but your dad's poetry is wonderful.

Matt-Man said...

Michele: Thanks on the dad thing. Sorry that you guys won't be together, but knowing the love of you two, I'm sure you'll muddle through. Cheers Michele!!

katherine. said...

The emails were fun.....but really I for one was a bit concerned for you.

Still smoking?

obviously talented...but also your dad had such a great heart.

Enjoy the day with schmoop!

Dana said...

It's not often that your posts bring a tear to my eye. Wait! That's not true - they often do but it's usually because I crying pissed off tears.

Not this time though ... not this time ...

Matt-Man said...

Kat: I know that, Kat, and yes I am...yeah, I know. Dad was a great guy. Have a wunnerful V-Day. Cheers Kat!!

Dana: Ha...I'll write this date down. Cheers Dana!!