With This Blog I Thee Wed...And Most Likely Divorce Later

Last week something silly yet amusing happened in the blogsophere and in the Twitterhood.

Several folks…Mrs. D, Mandy, and Jay each wrote posts involving celebrities that they would enjoying having as their next husband or wife.

Bagwine buddy, Doc chimed in on Twitter that he should do a similar thing involving “real people”, i.e. people he interacts with on his blog and through Twitter.

After he had the idea, he chickened out. However, after much coercion berating encouragement from Mrs. D and myself, Doc acquiesced and posted a list on Twitter.

He named 10 chicks who would make a great hypothetical second wife.

Of course, I told him that he named 10 so no chicks would be left off, get mad, and kick his ass. But I digress, sorta, and well, anyhoo…

I said what the hell…I’ll limit myself to a mere five bloggers with whom I get all randy and post it today. True to my word, I am doing it now.

I took into consideration, many aspects such as the length of time I have known certain bloggers. Do they make me hot in some way, and plain and simple of course do I like them?

To wit, heretofore, and in no particular order is my list: Matt-Man’s Top Five Picks To Be His Future Ex-Wife…


Mystery Chick: Chick began stopping by about a year ago. Her avatar that she used was a picture of herself wearing glasses. Chicks in glasses make me hot. I don’t know what it is.

MC is amusing, but more than that, she strikes me as sweet and somewhat vulnerable in a “God Damn!! Could Someone Please Allow Me To Unleash My Pent-Up Passion On Them?” kinda way.

On top of that, she has described some great shit she has cooked.

Who wouldn’t want a sweet, kind whore in the bedroom and a chef in the kitchen? When she cooked, I would quickly volunteer to toss her salad.

Dianne: Oh my kindred, sassy, even further left of me politically, Brooklyn accent, Joisey girl. I love her to death and would enjoy being her sex knish.

Di never fails to make me laugh, and I enjoy debating and listening to her talk politics, but it all goes back to the things she says that turn me on.

Di called Schmoop and I Christmas Day. Her son happened to be near her and Schmoop told Di that she thought he was hot. So…

Dianne told her son to take the phone and tell Schmoop, Hi.

He asked her who Schmoop was and Di replied, “She’s the girlfriend of the man your mom wants to have sex with.”

How the hell can you not fall in love with a woman like that? I dig her so.

Desert Rat: Oh my, my Rat. I have talked to her for some time now as well. I love me some Rat. I have plenty of friends I have met over this new fangled blogging thing but none any sweeter than her.

Her heart is completely and utterly well intentioned and she's there whenever one needs a kind word, or thought.

She’s also a scientist which is hot, ‘cause it means she is smart and she is cute, so I guess that means she is a High IQ-utie!!

I would love to say when asked what my wife does, “She’s a scientist, is your wife still pole dancing?”

Another good thing about scientists…They’re into experimentation. Yeah baby, yeah!!

Dana: Dana and I have been interacting for years now and well, what can I say? Never a harsh word or disagreement has befallen us. We’re completely like-minded. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!

Hell, there’s been times that hate and never speaking to one and other was not out of the question.

And yet? We time and time again, overcome that crap and still remain friends who can discuss things on a personal level.

On top of that she has nice tits. I like tits. I wish I had tits. But seriously, as it has been said, “When two people agree on everything, one of them is unnecessary.”

That isn’t the case between Dana and I, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Lastly, but not least, um…leastly?

Marilyn: I was checking things out. Marilyn has been commenting here longer than any regular commenter that graces the pages of Bagwine, and I have always dug her.

Marilyn has a science degree too. What is with me and science geeks? Anyhoo, she makes signs (denoted by the ad on my left sidebar.) I find that incongruent on the surface, but…

It does take detail, and she shows her detail and sense of subtlety and nuance as well when she writes her One Word Impressions.

They are great, and I have a deep affection for anyone who can artfully paint with the written word.

I find subtlety in another area as well. She oft times seems frazzled, but I see a quiet strength in her, and her wit is as fucking funny and as dry as they come. Her humor is arid times ten.

And there you have it…My Top Five Future Ex-Wives.

I apologize for the length of this post, but in all seriousness, it could have been longer because I barely scratched the surface of what I think about these adorable people.

Have a Happy Hump day all, and as always…

Cheers!!