It’s Friday so that means it’s time for the second round of my new installment, Private Conversations…I really need to come up with a catchier title, don’t I?
This is where I put snippets of my private conversations for the week out there, so we can all have a better understanding of the Matt-Man.
Here we go…
A Wednesday phone conversation with my friend Richard (The Crazy Cat Man of Columbus) After his five minute, expletive filled diatribe about the evils of the government of Israel:
Me: Wanna go grab a knish?
Richard: Fuck you, Mahoney.
Sunday afternoon at 2:30 talking to Schmoop:
Me: Wanna have sex?
Schmoop: Can you still have dinner ready by five o’clock?
A twitter convo between my friend Dana and me:
Me: Are you at work? ‘Cause I am typing this message to you completely nekkid.
Dana: Why yes, I AM at work, fully clothed, but commando - does that count?
Me: Mmmmmmmmm. You win.
Speaking of Dana…I had speaks with Schmoop about Dana’s boobs on Tuesday:
Me: I saw a new pic of Dana’s cleavage. I had to comment on her girls.
Schmoop: What did you say?
Me: I said, “I want to eat them.”
Schmoop: Aren’t you precious?
Me: Ha. I wuuuuv youuuuu.
Talking with my boss, Drive-By Mikey and our ice delivery guy, Luis, who is Mexican:
Mikey: Holy Shit Luis. You get slower and slower unloading that ice. Did you join a union?
Luis: Ha. Fuck you. (turns to me) You think I am getting slower too?
Me: Hell dude…I could have swam across the Rio Grande and back in the time it took you to unload that shit.
Luis: Ha Ha. You suck.
I have to take Ryno to an overnight Basketball camp this morning. Yesterday I called him to make sure what time he has to be there:
Me: 8 o’clock, buddy?
Me: We need to take some road music. What do you want me to bring?
Ryno: How ‘bout, The Cars? (my favorite band)
Me: Awwwww. I like that.
Ryno: I thought you would.
Me: And you were right.
Ryno: Aren’t I always?
Me: You had to ruin it, didn’t ya?
Ryno: Well, I am your son, Dad.
Me: Ha, true. I love you buddy.
Ryno: I love you too.
And there you have it folks…my second installment of Private Conversations.
Have a wonderful Friday, and I shall see ya after I get back from dropping Ryno off.