Friday, July 30, 2010

Matt-Man’s Private Conversations™

Today be Friday so you know what that means…That’s right!!

Time for yet another installment of, Matt-Man’s Private Conversations™.

Speaking with my son, Ryno on the phone Thursday morning:

Ryno: Mom cooked the rest of the Rally’s fries you bought for me.

Me: How were they?

Ryno: The ones I cooked were better. Mom cooked em’ too long. They were kinda burnt.

Me: What did you say to her?

Ryno: I told her they were great.

Me: Smart Boy.

Ryno: Hee Hee.

Talking to Schmoop Wednesday morning after she read my blog and the comments:

Schmoop: Jesus Christ.

Me: Ha. What?

Schmoop: I don’t know who’s more fucked up. You? Or your readers?

Me: Hee Hee.

Tuesday evening talking to a guy who comes through the Beer Mine regularly:

Me: 12 Busch Light?

Customer: No, just six.

Me: Only six? What’s wrong? Ya sick?

Customer: No, my wife wants me to cut back. Hell, she wants me stop drinking altogether.

Me: Ha. Why is that?

Customer: She says that I’m an asshole when I drink.

Me: But you’re always an asshole.

Customer: That’s what I told her!! But…you know how that goes with women.

Me: I used to. But now the only drinking related shit I get from my girlfriend is when I come home with less than a 30 pack.

Customer: You suck.

Me: Hee Hee.

Talking to Jay on the Wednesday about our radio show and who we would make fun of:

Jay: We could always make fun of the Amish.

Me: Ha. True.

Jay: Of course they won’t be listening because they don’t have the internet or radios or shit like that.

Me: Good point.

Jay: Hee Hee.

And there you have it for this week folks.

Off to see Ryno this morning, pick up Schmoop from work at noon, and then hopefully we will head over to my brother Marty’s house for some drinks and rudeness later this evening.

Have a wonderful Friday and a great weekend, all.



MysteryChick said...

I love being a fly-on-the-wall to your Private Conversations.

I also think I might have a girl-crush on Shmoop.

Jay said...

That's the perfect reason to make fun of the Amish. We won't have to worry about them getting pissed off. Besides, like I said, that chick at the Amish bakery flirts with me every time I go there. She keeps flashing me a little ankle action.

Hell, we could probably call the show "The Amish Entertainment Hour" and they'd never know.

Matt-Man said...

Chick: Thanks. More than a few people like when I do this. And sure, get together with Schmoop, I'll take pictures. Lots and lots of pictures. Just to have. Cheers Chick!!

Jay: Ha. That was a good line. You're a funny fucker. Now shuddupp and kiss me. Cheers Jay!!

Mike said...

"... fucked up. You? Or your readers?"

Hey, we're all in this together.

I also noticed Schmoop didn't comment on Wednesday so she didn't dis herself.

Matt-Man said...

Mike: Very astute observation, but the truth be told, like me, Schmoop is the first one to admit as to what a moron and/or asshole she can be. Cheers Mike!!

Scott Oglesby said...

I have one from vacation. And when it happened I thought of you. My wife and I were in an elevator…

Wifey “Your hair looks all kinky, like pubic hair.”
Me “Your face looks like a groin.” Just as the elevator opened behind my back to a group of 3 adolescent girls who looked mortified.

Her face did look like a groin that day though.

Matt-Man said...

Scott: Ha. That's funny and as your hair was all pubic looking n'shit, her face looking like a groin was a good match. Cheers Scott!!

Evil Twin's Wife said...

I love how all the conversations end with "hee hee". That totally cracks me up! (I'm easy to please, apparently). LOL.

Matt-Man said...

Evil: Ha. Yeah, this week it was certainly a theme and thread that ran through every conversation. Cheers ETW!!

Brother Bondo said...

...I gotta grow me one o' them beards with no mustache...

~Isobel~DingoDoll said...

I used to think the amish were cannibals when I was a kid. I'm not entirely convinced they aren't.

Karen said...

I will defend the Amish. I love them! I've never listen to blog talk radio shows, but I might have to make an exception for you fools.

Matt-Man said...

Dingo: Amish Cheese; IS PEOPLE!! Cheers Doll!!

Karen: I never listen to them either but I guess I have to at least listen to the one Jay and I will be doing, and thanks. Cheers Karen!!

David said...

I am laughing my ass off about Scott's comments as it would be the most perfect situation in the world for Matt-Man's head to look like pubic hair and be with a woman who looked like a groin....which I assume meant an untamed pussy....what with your pussy licking skills and all.

Matt-Man said...

David: Uh-huh. Cheers David!!

~Isobel~DingoDoll said...

David should lay off the ecstasy.

Dana said...

I don’t know who’s more fucked up. You? Or your readers?

Ohhh ... I have no doubt who wins that title!

And it looks like I'm going to have to fight MysteryChick for Schmoop. Damn! I hate it when that happens!

Charlene said...

You always seem to have such ordinary conversations but they aren't really.

Anonymous said...


Matt-Man said...

Dana: Oooooo. A fight bewteen you and Chick over Schmoop? Sounds like a great Pay-per-View Event!! Cheers Dana!!

Charlene: Ha. That made me laugh. Cheers Charlene!!

Matt-Man said...

Dingo: Ha. I think you're right. cheers Doll!!

David said...

@Infinity Isobel infinity DingoDoll....well sadly I'm just wacko and can't blame it on drugs....maybe I should start using the ecstasy?

Is it not a miracle of the new millenium and the intertubes that we have all this shared friendship, humor and wit mostly without ever actually meeting anyone? Woo Hoo